My daughter is 7. I have not seen symptoms of Psychpathy, but her father is one. I'm worried, will she start showing signs of it? What do I do if I see them?

Thanks.

Hello Buttercupncream,

I just read your first post a few times. The letter that you will not end up sending. Wow, give yourself a pat on the back. Your thoughts are very well worded. You have been able to really reflect upon everything that you learned, through your research, and appropriately interpret and then apply it to your own situation. You seem to have an incredibly healthy perspective on everything considering you have only officially left him recently. I do wonder how long you have been researching all of this to be able to put everything together so well? Perhaps you have had therapy in the past, as your clarity and strength are apparent in your post, even in the midst of the current emotional turmoil that you are feeling.

Your second post mentions that your daughter's father is a Psychopath. I have a daughter myself who is the same age, and her father is also a Psychopath. How did you determine her father to be a Psychopath? Is this something that you identified awhile ago, when you were with him? Or have you recently applied your knowledge about all of this with the current Psychopath to him as well? Did you recognize any similarities between your daughter's father and the recent Psychopath? Did you notice any red flags with the current Psychopath that reminded you of him?

I would not concern yourself at all about your daughter turning in to a Psychopath. First of all, even if she is, there is nothing you can do at all to treat or change them. So worrying about "catching it early", or wondering if there are signs that you should be looking for, really is pointless. There is no intervention if she is. I am not telling you to deny obvious signs if they are present....I am just telling you not to waste any precious emotional energy worrying about something that you would never be able to change anyway.

Additionally, you are fresh right out of this bad relationship. I am sure it has really drained you to once again see him with his mask let down, and the truth revealed. Try not to waste your emotional energy at this time by worrying about what could happen with your daughter. Cross that bridge if you ever get to it. In the meantime, try to redirect your thoughts and energy on to yourself. Emotional healing and growth will occur much more rapidly if you are able to reserve most of your emotional energy for yourself. Of course, your child needs your love, time, and energy. I am referring to energy that gets wasted by unnecessary worry.

You have had some ugly realizations in the past in regards to his lies. It is key at this point to really focus on not repeating the cycle by forgiving him and taking him back. As strongly as you feel that it is over, and that you won't go back, you need to realize that you are still vulnerable. Psychopath's have such a powerful way of manipulating their way back in to our lives. Be on the defense for this. It is established that the only way to move on and COMPLETELY heal and recover from a Psychopath, is to have absolutely no contact with them.

That is a very hard thing to do, I fully understand. Our brains rationalize all kinds of reasons to justify contact. (Now that I know what I do, he's really going to hear it from me!) (His family is so nice, they would be horrified if I called them and told them all of this) (That girl seems so sweet, someone needs to warn her) (Now that I know what I do, I feel obligated to warn the next victim) (He is so smart, if I could get him to see what I have just learned, there might be hope to fix him) (He loves me so much, maybe he will change for me) ( I am so much better without him, I need to call him and let him know that I realize this now) and on and on and on.

Try to recognize this way of thinking, however it may appear in your mind, so that you can block it. In my case, it really took conscious effort to block ALL my thoughts about him. Thoughts of the Psychopath have a way of resurfacing, in various notions and thoughts, which initially seem to make sense. Try to understand that the biggest part of recovery from a Psychopath is No Contact. That means not contacting his family, business partner, exwives, girfriends, or anyone else that you feel has additional information to contribute to the big "puzzle" of him. Try to understand that the way a Psychopath operates and lives their lives is so different from us. We could spend an entire lifetime consuming ourselves with untying all of their many knots, revealing their many lies, and trying to calculate exactly how much damage has occurred and to whom. I wasted years doing exactly that. I hope you are wiser than me and do not do the same.

You seem to be well on your way to emotional healing. Thank goodness you got out of this horrible relationship when you did. Be strong, and feel proud that you are making great strides in the right direction for yourself and for your daughter. You were wise to leave when you did, and lucky that you were able to safely leave. Best of luck for continued progress. May you find strength in the days ahead.