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#13434 - 06/17/12 06:48 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: TheChallenger]
Karina Offline
member

Registered: 06/14/12
Posts: 1
Hi. I'm new here and my English is not very good but this subject is a tentation to me smile The eyes of psychopaths are fascinating. Terrible ones though quite different to anything. I saw the black eyes three times in my life: twice in my own psychopathic expartner, and in two different intensities: once the horrible black black eyes, just for a moment, and onother one a less intense black but more prolonged. And another time i saw them from a woman, a woman i had no any kind of relation with but who told me a mean, without motivation by her side, comment one day. Since then i had a look at her from time to time discreetly ,just so, and one day looked at me with those intense black eyes. shocked What a fright again. They're a phenomenon of nature, evolution or whatever. Savage and dangerous like predator animals but with some human characteristics.


Edited by Karina (06/17/12 06:49 PM)

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#13436 - 06/18/12 12:56 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Karina]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
TheChallenger - I like your theory. Someone here wrote that they do what they do just because they CAN. If you have no real feelings, I can imagine that life is but a game, what they perceive as life is what we would as a computer game - you can do whatever because you do not feel bad if you kill someone in the game - or at least not the same as you would in real life. I think that‘s how they see life - no emotions = not being able to value life.

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#13442 - 06/18/12 07:29 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
MalachiteMoon Offline
member

Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Texas
His eyes.

I never really thought about it until I read this thread. I looked at pictures of him last night, covering everything except the eyes. I know him, so I see the “smile,” but as I looked more objectively, I’m not sure it was really there. This is just one more way he deceived me.

I do recall many times, however, when he wanted me to look at him. Maybe we would be dancing in the living room, sitting at the park, or making love, and he would say, “Look at me,” with such intensity. I was always so struck that it took my breath away, and I thought I could see the world in there. I was in love, so I thought that’s what he was feeling too.

Looking back now though, I wonder. When I really think of what I saw there, I believe there was a void, or maybe it was like a sponge trying to soak up my emotions—almost as if he was looking so deeply at me because he was trying to see what it was to feel—to experience emotions through my eyes.

It is kind of creeping me out, to be honest.

The angry eyes—oh, I know those well. Whenever he was angry, his eyes frightened me. I don’t back down, I don’t show fear; I am not easily intimidated—often with him it was to my own detriment. His angry eyes would become very green, and glass over. I’ve seen people compare Psychopath’s eyes to those of shark's; I can easily see that. I know that when I saw those angry eyes, the mean stare was something I always tried to alter—to affect. Now, as I’m writing I remember too, he would often avoid looking at me, or if he was wearing sunglasses, he wouldn’t take them off when we fought. It was as though he didn’t want me to see his eyes.

I learned to be afraid, intimidated, and to back down from those angry eyes.

Again, it is kind of creeping me out. LOL


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#13936 - 10/17/12 07:59 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: MalachiteMoon]
lola Offline
member

Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 5
I relapsed last night and had contact with my ex Psychopath..God i feel awful like iv let myself down but i have to keep reminding myself that the short honeymoon period was NOT REAL and his eyes and smile were so fake.....When i first got mith my Psychopath we were making love..he used to make me shake with desire like no one had ever done..he looked at me with a smirk and said " I can do anything to you " then i looked into his eyes and for a split second i saw the devil...His eyes were red and green and bore into me..I never forgot this however like so many other things that happened afterwards, i swept it under the carpet..Because it all became to painful to face...

There were often tears but looking back he never had any emotion with the tears..When a normal person crys they shake, they make a noise, they get a snotty nose and blow it...My Psychopath never made a sound..He just pretended to wipe away the tears...His eyes would often change colour however i put this down to what he was smoking at the time but again looking back it was when he had been caught out with something and became desperate to regain control again...

Being away from the Psychopath and reading stuff on here does make one stronger and also enables us to look back and put the pieces of our experience with these monsters together...Its a bit like doing a jigsaw puzzle and eventually the bigger picture emerges.. One very sick thing i have worked out is that on 2 occassions he got off on my pain and my tears...The first was our first argument..We went out with a friend of mine one night..i told my Psychopath that this friend ( a guy ) had been abused as a teenager by a homosexual and that my friend didnt know if he was gay or not..looking back my Psychopath, i now beleive, used this information..he used his eyes to seduce my friend knowing his vulnerability, and i saw there eye contact which shook me so i got up to leave...

As we left and said our goodbys i looked back to the front door and my friend went to kiss my Psycho and was staring in his eyes with a look of lust...I saw the whole thing and when walking home kept saying to myself...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAW...my Psychopath denied what had happened that night but after a few days said he did notice my friends behaviour..

I also got the blame from my Psychopath who said that because i knew that he had once had a gay experience i used this to set up the whole situation....This was not true...it never entered mind...i had only been living with my Psychopath for 3 weeks when this incident took place...when he went to bed that night i realised this man that i truely loved and adored would and could hurt me..i started looking for clues and found when i had been in bed or out he was trawling the interned looking at hard core porn...This was our first big argument..i threw him money to get out and find a flat...i was in tears and devestated and got very drunk...he saw my pain and used my money to go with a prostitute and use drugs..When he came back the hurt of this was unbearble..I took him back and again swept it under the carpet...Later when i had finally got him out of my home there was a incident when i was basically breaking down..I could not stop crying and didnt know why...i know now it was total emotional trauma...He saw this...and i was later to find out after witnessing my pain he again went with a prostitute...Its only now the jigsaw is emerging and what a sick and disgusting jigsaw it is...The thing that made me finally walk...

As people on here call" THE LIGHT BULB MOMENT" is when i was in his flat and again he had upset and hurt me..I looked at him and he was grinning like a cheshire cat..thats when i realised this man is sick and likes seeing me in pain..this was to happen again the day i told him i wanted no contact..This monster has put me through incredible pain because i didnt know what i was dealing with and always hoped that the lovely guy i saw for a few weeks in the begining would come back...But...now i know that lovely guy was a act..that lovely guy does not exsist....HE WAS NOT REAL....and the nice times we had were all just a act on his part...








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#13939 - 10/17/12 04:51 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: lola]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Lola, I know it sounds easy but please try to be kind to yourself, many times relapse is part of recover. It appears that reflecting on all of these horrible things in many ways will help you be the strong, caring person that you were before and will be after this horrendous experience.

I think we all can tend to brush things under the carpet because it is very hard to think of evil for what it really is. It can make us question ourselves to such a degree that we feel like the crazy one in the room.

I am glad that you did kick him out of your space. Don't be surprised if he continues to try and contact you, that will be the test of no contact. I don't think it is good to live in the negative state but in cases of dealing with Psychopaths it is the thing that can help shake us awake and know in our heart of hearts that they are not capable of change and don't deserve your love and kindness.

Many times victims keep trying to capture the good times in the honeymoon state but I think you should be very proud of yourself for having your eyes wide open to what the reality is.

Di

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#13943 - 10/17/12 11:42 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Gary92 Offline
member

Registered: 10/17/12
Posts: 18
The eyes are like a death glare. Growing up with it for 20 years, it makes the hair on the back of my neck raise when my psychopathic father even looks at me. I have come close to many panic attacks over the years, and everytime I tried to tell someone about it, it got shot down. My mother even says that it began when I was an infant, but according to them (she used to stick up for him) I normally was told "you're too tense" or that I let things get to me easily. I had to lie to my doctors growing up and never tell them what really was going on, just like you have to lie to all your friends about what really goes on at home. Even now to this day, it's gotten a lot worse. When my father is screaming and threatening to beat one of us or his punishing emotional verbal abuse, my legs start shaking uncontrollably, my hands, I start stuttering very badly, and I can barely walk a couple feet without falling down and just shaking hard.

Yeah that "look at me" or with me, it was always "you better fing look at me right now" just scares the living crap out of me.

A few months ago I finally told my parents WHY I think I was having those problems and they started again "Oh you wanna blame that on me huh?". I will never get over how a psychopath can't feel any sympathy, whatsoever even when it's his own kid. Even recently he mocks me when I start stuttering, by acting like he can't talk straight and gives me his death glare.


After reading this, I went back and looked at pictures during my childhood and I noticed it. The eyes are just black, but most of all, in a normal "family" type photo, he's not even looking at the camera. He's got this bad look on his face and his eyes are normally shifted down at me or at my mother like he flat out hates us.

The tears I've always believed are fake. "Don't cry, you'll make ME cry"....that's when the scum bag isn't mocking you and laughing over your tears like he does when your body starts shaking close to a panic attack. The few times my father HAS cried, it's always been FORCED tears. You know how someone is forcing themselves to cry. The only 2 times I remember in my life was one time I got really upset that he told my mother a bunch of lies how I thought she was some sick nutcase, and it just destroyed me, that he would lie like that, and I bust out balling. I think he played up on it to make himself the victim on that cause he told me I was making HIM cry now. The other time was a classic. My mother's sugar problems and diabeties and he just launches a war path of F You's, and calling her every name in the book, and then continuing on when she's back in the bathroom puking her guts out and crying uncontrollably. I started crying, he looks at me and basically forces himself to start crying before uttering the words "God I hate that fing b****"



Those eyes of his are in my nightmares. I always think psychopaths seem to create "multiple personalities" and in my dreams, that's how it comes off. I'm fighting an illusion of 4, 5, even 6 versions of my psychopathic father, each of them telling different lies.


Edited by Gary92 (10/17/12 11:43 PM)

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#13944 - 10/18/12 12:05 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: starry]
Gary92 Offline
member

Registered: 10/17/12
Posts: 18
Originally Posted By: starry
Originally Posted By: 1Healing
When I was with ex h I was happy, I felt he was his real self with me, but it was like it could not maintain, he would Have to be mad, start fights, gaslight, silent treatment, then discard.


The anger and vitriol is part of his 'real self' too. I don't see a split there. I don't see it as the powers of evil pressing in and taking over an essentially 'good' person.

To me, that seems like a manipulation, the 'I love you but I'm really troubled and I can't help it' line.

My dad used it a lot. 'I had such a troubled upbringing' and 'my mother was a real b****' so 'I can't help feeling this way, I'm a victim!'. Actually no, I knew he was lying to me, I always knew that was a manipulation.

I now don't believe anything my dad ever said to me. That's the trouble with lying, eventually people just treat everything you say as a lie.

Sorry, I don't by that line when someone tries to sell any of that stuff to me. You're an adult, you take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions, and if you're 'troubled', sort it out. Don't go repeating the same abusive patterns your life over. And not only, but actively seeking out 'victims' in a very predatory way.

Don't mean to sound harsh against yourself 1Healing, just harsh against the **** these 'people' peddle.



Your dad sounds exactly like mine. Everything is the fault of his parents, nothing is ever his fault how he became what he is now. He's always, always, always, always the victim no matter how much stuff HE breaks or says or does.


Over the years with my mother confessing things, sometimes I don't even believe my father's name is what it is he has lied so bad. It was very very bad growing up and just small things, were bare faced lies, and it was ALWAYS him trying to turn us against our mother, even our grandparents in times, and many other family members. But of course our mother "brainwashed" us, it's never his fault.

I guess when you lie and continue to lie and keep lying, you start to believe your own lies, and that's what happens. They truly DO forget something when they say that it never happened.



As far as his own mother and how horrible she was he claims, the secret she told my mother can't be forgotten. She claimed she abandoned him because there was "no fixing him" pretty much the theory of a born "bad seed" with his compulsive non-stop lying at an early age, which was the same reason she apparently left his father afterwards (from all evidence I know, his father was a total psychopath too). She basically told my mother straight out when I was born that my father was a problem child and she would regret ever marrying him. I still don't agree that you just up and leave a kid at the age of 16, but the fact NONE of his family ever tried to seek us out and see how we were doing all these years always made me wonder, cause he has a huge family, and the few times they reached out to us, they would back out at the last minute to avoid him. I never met any of them, and his own father who now is dead and he still loves to say "I got beat with his fists", like yeah 30 years ago, you haven't seen him in how long?



As far as the "born bad seed" stuff goes, you have to really wonder if they are born that way all along. Similar to the posts about the souls that just zip back up into a new body and are ready to go. But if you're born that way, then I'm half of him and it makes me sick to my stomach that I have that in me.

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#14028 - 11/08/12 04:04 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Gala Offline
member

Registered: 11/07/12
Posts: 7
This whole thread is freaking me out a bit.

I so very much wish I could post pictures of him. Suffice to say in every single picture of him, he purposefully has this evil look, to the extent that I remember commenting about it to him when we first started seeing each other. And then the last picture he sent to me via email (and who sends a picture of themselves to someone that has just ended it with them yet AGAIN?) with the words "so that you can throw darts at my ugly face." <<that picture was really evil. Dark, penetrating eyes with the death look. Of course, I was a bit kind (fool that I was) and told him he looked good, liked the haircut and soul patch (ironic, he has no soul I think).

And in other pics he definitely had that "smirk" thing going on. Never a true smile.

One night in bed, something he did startled me from my "almost sleep" and I quickly looked over at him. He quickled hissed at me "why are you looking at me liked that?" His eyes were so very evil in that moment that I just cannot explain it. I don't know what he did to startle me, but it was like I was really seeing him unmasked. If that makes any sense.

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#14029 - 11/08/12 07:40 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Gala]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Gala, welcome to our community. Yes, those eyes are the dead giveaway to the unmasking, like looking into the eyes of what we would imagine the eyes of the devil looks like Like looking into some black sea of no soul.

Many members over the years of really getting it when they looked at pictures, it seems like even if they aren't unmasked the eyes and the smirks really show in pictures. You can see the same look when you see a true crime show and the face of the Psychopath is shown.

It is like when you hear a cop say once you smell a dead body it is one that you never forget, same with the eyes of a Psychopath, imo.

There is a prominent Psychopath here in town and when I see his picture in the newspaper it creeps me out. I can recall to a t the exact position I was standing in when I looked into the eyes of an unmasked Psychopath.

Di

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#14031 - 11/09/12 09:27 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Gala Offline
member

Registered: 11/07/12
Posts: 7
Thanks for the welcome Diane. smile

The smell of a dead body analogy is spot on! No, I will never forget it.

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