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#14036 - 11/12/12 02:05 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Great2bealive Offline
member

Registered: 10/25/12
Posts: 4
Originally Posted By: Dianne E.
Hi Gala, welcome to our community. Yes, those eyes are the dead giveaway to the unmasking, like looking into the eyes of what we would imagine the eyes of the devil looks like Like looking into some black sea of no soul.

Many members over the years of really getting it when they looked at pictures, it seems like even if they aren't unmasked the eyes and the smirks really show in pictures. You can see the same look when you see a true crime show and the face of the Psychopath is shown.

It is like when you hear a cop say once you smell a dead body it is one that you never forget, same with the eyes of a Psychopath, imo.

There is a prominent Psychopath here in town and when I see his picture in the newspaper it creeps me out. I can recall to a t the exact position I was standing in when I looked into the eyes of an unmasked Psychopath.

Di
Wow! That's a mouthful right there! i can relate, to a degree, that is. the "unmasking" as you called it, well i to have seen the "eyes of the devil' himself, in my ex-husband. I will never, ever doubt the "devil' or will i ever doubt the level or degree he will go to to hurt those he has munipulated into his web of deception.I saw those eyes one night, after being held down onto our bed. It had been a "all nighter", and it had gone on into the next day. I was being "handled' by my neck and head, to be forced to look at him while he told me what i needed to be told by him, because he was the "master of the house", that's when i saw the devil himself. i literally screamed to the top of my lungs! i had seen the devil and he was in front of me holding my head in place, being forced to look at him! i have seen my ex-husbands pic on fb one day, his mom posted some pics.

I to got the 'cringes" when i saw him, it was just like before, when i saw the devil that day. Nothing had changed.These people are possessed by the devil, or it seems that way. So many evil things were done by my ex-husband, i know he is possessed by something. Nobody can be that mean and not have some type of evil demon in them, to be able to do the things they do to others.Thanks for talking about this subject, it's very enlightening.

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#14039 - 11/12/12 09:54 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
maryf Offline
member

Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 2
My husbands ex-wife is a psychopath. We share custody of the kids (ages 6 and 7) with her and we're trying desperately to get sole custody of them. I have dealt with her for 3 years now and I didn't realize she was a psychopath until most recently. I have been doing so much research to figure out what was wrong with her. She fits every symptom of psychopathy.

It's scary to read all these posts about their eyes. The first thing I said about her was, "She has the crazy eyes." But I didn't know it was much more than that. They are vacant and evil. I refuse to look at her because I feel her gaze will destroy my soul. After reading this thread, I looked back at her Facebook pictures and looked at just her eyes. They scare the living daylights out of me!

My husband and I try to prevent her from even looking at us. We keep our distance from her and won't let her physically see us when she drops off the kids. I have to say, I have never felt I needed to literally hide from somebody. I have never dealt with someone like this before. That's why I came to this site.

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#14043 - 11/13/12 10:21 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: maryf]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Mary, welcome to our community. Very sorry that you have to currently share custody. Yes, the eyes are quite something when you know about Psychopathic people.

We have a section for children in custody situations with a Psychopath. Will pop right back and give you the link in case you haven't found it.

Here is the section
What about the children of Psychopaths

If you find a member that you want to read their story, if you click on a name their posts will be listed.

Di


Edited by Dianne E. (11/13/12 10:23 AM)
Edit Reason: added link

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#14047 - 11/13/12 10:08 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
maryf Offline
member

Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 2
Thank you <3

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#14138 - 12/29/12 09:29 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
satan's child Offline
member

Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 13
VERY, VERY TRUE DI!!!

The Eyes NEVER match the fake smaile they attempt to put on for the world to see.

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#14181 - 01/08/13 12:14 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
trudy Offline
member

Registered: 04/28/12
Posts: 24
Hello everyone,
I was not sure where to put this so I chose to place it in a reply to D hope this is okay.

My ex Psychopath had hazel/green eyes that would turn deep black. This change would seem to come from nowhere and at first I did not recognize that the eyes were black, only that something about his face looked different and I felt "off" but I could not make out what was wrong. He was able to keep his composure,he did not change his behavior nor blow up in anger, his eyes would just go black. He told me that he had always been on his best behavior for me so maybe he wanted to rage but didn't.

The black eyes were not nearly as troubling as what I refer to as his ted bundy eyes. So bizarre, I only saw this once (during physical intimacy) they were his true color but huge and fixed and staring, I had the horrifying realization that NOBODY WAS IN THERE. It might sound crazy but for a few moments I could feel his emptiness and it terrified me. I will never forget it but how I wish I could. The best way to describe it would be to say that it felt vast and expansive(like images of deep dark space)but completely empty at the same time, I call it INFINITE NOTHING. Even now it is hard to write it down. If I had to live my life with that feeling I would have to say that it would be like being the living dead.

We dated for only 9 months but he was an important person in my life for 23 years. I had no idea "what" he was and how I found out is an insanity of it's own. It was only after it ended that I saw the Anne Rule book cover and recognized the exact eyes. I am still traumatized by ptsd.

I have a question though, his eyes also did something even more strange (hard to imagine). I'll just lay out the scenario of what I saw. He was on the phone with a U.S. senator from our state. I mention the person's position only because this is a significant part of what got the Psychopath so worked up. Currently the Psychopath is trying to manipulate the senator into creating legislation that will help his company. It was Summer yet the house was freezing with the A.C. cranked up. The Psychopath was sweating like mad, waving his arms, pacing with intensity while trying to ingratiate and manipulate in an overly cheerful and "sincere" tone.
After the call I walked over to him and as I approached I noticed that it looked as if he had something in his eyes. I stood right in front of him and motioned with my finger towards his eyes. He said "what" and I said that there appeared to be something in his eyes. He said, "oh, that, when I get really worked up I get this in my eyes." I asked him if it happened all the time and he said "only once in a while." It was a thick, cream/pale yellow colored, mucous like substance that had collected in each of his eyes. The size was about half of a raisin cut lengthwise. Forgive me for the yuck factor but it was sort of like snot. Kind of like when a frenzied dog gets that in it's eyes.

I have looked this up on the web so many times but have found nothing. Has anyone else ever seen this or heard of it? What is it?

If it took me too long to reach the point I apologize, it seems to be that way when it comes to stories of the Psychopath.

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#14191 - 01/15/13 10:01 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: trudy]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Trudy, wow, please don't feel a need to apologize, your input is very important. I have never heard such detail and yes it does make perfect sense, almost like his evil blasting out through his eyes. Thanks for sharing this extra detail that I am sure someone will come along that can relate to. Those eyes are the scariest part of the entire experience, something that once you see it very hard to shake, indeed.

Di

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#14192 - 01/16/13 02:53 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
trudy Offline
member

Registered: 04/28/12
Posts: 24
Hello Dianne,

Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate the time you have taken with me and I am so grateful for this web site. When I came across it I recognized that it was the real thing, people here share meaningful and accurate depictions of what it means to deal with a Psychopath.

I was so relieved not to be alone; reading that others knew what I was feeling validated me and gave me hope and strength at my darkest hour.

I sure hope that one day someone can offer an answer to his eyes (that stuff). As a very unusual aside I'll briefly share an odd little coincidence.

Many years ago when I first met the Psychopath (I was the nanny for whom he secretly developed an enduring infatuation) I was newly dating my son's father. As a couple we shared a love for reading. One weekend we went to a book expo, authors etc... We were about to leave when we came across a large, empty room. There were about a hundred empty chairs so we decided to sit down for a bit. As we were about to leave people started to file in. It turned out they were coming to see Anne Rule. At the time I had no idea who she was. We decided to stay just for the heck of it. During her Q&A session the subject went to ted bundy. She answered a few questions and then looked directly at me, she pointed me out and said that I would be ted bundy's ideal type. This drew some laughs and she went on to explain why she said what she had. I nearly forgot all about that encounter until I happened to see the cover of her book about t.b. and recognized those haunting and familiar eyes. Unbelievable.

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#14193 - 01/16/13 10:24 AM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: trudy]
daddysproblem Offline
member

Registered: 06/23/11
Posts: 99
Trudy,

I'm in shock from your Ann Rule experience. It's more than that.. my eyes are watering.

I'm always trying to figure out why I end up with so many encounters with what I believe are Psychopaths. I have come to the conclusion that something about me..sets them off.

I think that initially I appear open to them. I think that is because their freaky behavior doesn't set me off. But then they realize I'm not buying it. The charm they are selling.. THEY know - on an instinctual level - that I KNOW. They KNOW that they they don't have my - trust? And then I believe it encourages them to somewhat mess with me. I become a target. But not in the way that others would perceive as a target... it's very subtle.

My neighbor for instance. I believe she's a Psychopath. She has a dangerous dog. By her inaction, the dog has mauled my dog and as come after me.

And it's the eyes. Their eyes are knowing... detached.... somewhat curious... intrigued....

My new way to stay completely away from my Dad (which is what brought me to this site) is that I imagine.. that if he were to see me suffering.. dying.. the only thing I would see would be those eyes.. vacant.. uncaring... detached... and most likely.. satisfied that my demise was unfolding right before his eyes.

This is also how i approach my neighbor.. I avoid her and don't engage.

Now with hindsight.. every memory I have of my Dad the memory is tuned in to his eyes.. his glare..

I'm so glad it's over......



Edited by daddysproblem (01/16/13 10:25 AM)

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#14198 - 01/16/13 05:09 PM Re: The Eyes and tears of a Psychopath [Re: daddysproblem]
trudy Offline
member

Registered: 04/28/12
Posts: 24
Hi Daddysproblem,

I have realized that because of my upbringing, merely coping with and reacting to a bad environment, I did not develop in a healthy way. Being raised by a Psychopath meant that my environment trained me to be compliant, to have no needs(they were seldom met so I reduced my expectations to nothing)and to learn to live without nurturing parental behavior, normalcy and stability in my life.

My sense of self and the world developed improperly. I was blind to maltreatment, deeply shy, naive, had no effective personal boundaries and was sent out into the world as a target, wholly unprepared to protect myself from bad people and psychopathic behavior. Although I would add that nearly anyone, given the right circumstances can fall prey a Psychopath.

I am sorry about your dog being attacked. Maybe you need some form of protection, just in case the neighbor dog attempts to come after you again. Your neighbor probably is a Psychopath they seem to be a dime a dozen. What galls me is that Psychopaths have the advantage, even if warned about them most people are only able to mentally accept the hardcore version of a Psychopath, the visibly apparent types. It is hard for typical people to understand the hidden Psychopaths that run rampant. It seems to take being badly burned and then one never forgets.

You mentioned the intrigue & fascination that can be present in their eyes. Your dad sounds like a piece of work. You are right to deny him the satisfaction of watching you suffer and to refuse to allow him to ruin you. Keeping away as much as possible seems to be the most effective strategy when one has a psychopathic parent.



I have not written too much about the Psychopath I was with, there is so much,it would take forever. He he had many types of eyes depending on what was going on. Mostly he presented as a normal person. I recall a party where he seemed to want me to feel unhappy and frustrated,when I reacted accordingly there was a subtle enjoyment and his eyes revealed he was delighting in his ability to make me upset. Why I noticed this and why I recall it to this day I have no idea. There were tiny oddities that could not be filed away and so they remianed, hanging out in space. I only saw the ted bundy eyes once but that episode is etched in my memory.

I was close to the Psychopath I was with, loved him so much as a person (naive) that I actually had a conversation with him (in a restaurant) telling him I believed he had a personality disorder and detailing for him an episode in which I watched him switch persona's.

That really did happen, he went from my sweet, very low key, attentive partner to this swaggering, cocky, smooth talking C.E.O. in about 8 seconds. We were out and some people from his business world spotted us and insisted we join them for drinks. On our way to their section he even walked differently! I did not know what was happening at the time, his markedly changed behavior stood out as unfamiliar, I knew he was sober so I could not understand what he was doing. Only after everything went down (long story) did I know what that was.

After he listened to me describe noticing this and other traits he said "you might be right about that." He was beaming, glowing as if flattered beyond measure and giving me a look of adoration and saying he loved me!!! I was stunned, heartbroken and overcome by how sick he truly is, somehow I kept my composure, I wanted to run but I just sat there dazed.

He long ago created persona's and functions from those to get by in life. Not like dissociative identity disorder where a personality takes over and there is no recollection of events. He is of one mind, he remembers everything he does but has to act from a persona depending on the environment, agenda etc... Evil chameleon in a business suit.

He said I was like the C.I.A., apparently the fact that I had eyes, ears and a memory was a problem for him. I am not a suspicious person by nature but due to my upbringing I have a heightened awareness sometimes,perhaps my memory for certain things is vivid (part of a survival mechanism?) Not sure what made me write all of this today, maybe I needed catharsis. I'm kind of going on and on aren't I?

I spend most of my efforts working at improving my habits and thinking so I tend to avoid writing about things related to my experience with Psychopaths. I do like to encourage others, I was so low, had no interest or faith in myself or life. If I can improve, crawl out of that hole and become stronger anyone can.

I used to resent it but have accepted that it is my job to rewire my brain, develop healthy boundaries, elevate myself to equal with the rest of the world and build a life from this new perspective. Tall order, I have episodes where I lose ground but I get right back to it.

What I marvel at is that I went for so long COMPLETELY UNAWARE of the reality that my mother is a Psychopath. What does it take to be so blind? When I had to figure out what the psychology of the behavior of the Psychopath I was involved with was I began to clearly see my mother and my history finally made sense. He is off the charts(but he is so hidden & controlled it is scary),she (mom) is more typical of female Psychopaths.

The Psychopath I was with once said to me (this was after I knew)"you're my Snow White" and "you are pure." The whole story is so out there. It did not start out crazy,I knew him well for more than two decades prior to becoming involved with him! He was the person in my life who believed in me, saw my potential and treated me better than anyone, never a harsh word between us in all those years. I was the babysitter so I was around him all the time, even lived in the guest house for a while. Never once did he make an improper gesture and I never (not one time) caught him checking me out. It was only all those years later when in a relationship that he said "I've always been on my best behavior for you."

During one of our last meetings he said "well at least you found out about this now instead of two years from now" followed by "I tried to warn you, I tried to tell you what I am but you wouldn't listen." Who on earth refers to himself as a "what" and not a "who"? In hindsight he did try to warn me, only his warnings were so subtle, benign, cryptic that nobody would have understood what he meant. In the end I could not recognize his energy, could not even view him as a person, let alone the person I had known. This shift really messed with my mind, he is an entirely different entity underneath his persona's. They are like clothes he wears to blend into different environments.

I let him know that I have spoken to a couple of attorneys(to document) and told my friend who is a federal judge about this (not to boast re. judge, just that he understands his power). Just to ensure my safety. I think this is why he has not bothered me so far. He is not the sort to tolerate loose ends so I will be making changes before too long.

Had better stop, not sure what got into me. Thank you for listening.

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