Mine could turn the tears on and off like a faucet, in fact, he had a judge so convinced of his 'remorse' that he not only let the guy not post bail, but let him off on criminal charges of interfering with a 911 call and domestic assault, 'With prejudice", which meant the case could never be brought up again, far too soon for the DA to get the police report or evidence in the case.
Now that the Psychopath returned to stalk me and I have a 10 year protection order, I am filing for breech of my civil rights on that case. It will do nothing towards the Psychopath, but will hold the Judge accountable. You can do this if 'the system' let you down, as they Do.

OMG another lightbulb moment

I'd never seen a guy cry so easily and so much before and I always thought it was because he was 'so sensitive'! but he did it and he did it a lot

ofcourse towards the end it was me who was crying most of the time, after i lost control

as for the beady eyes he confessed that he doesn't like being photographed and that he has almost no photos of himself not even as a child...when he said this at the time i took it to mean he was neglected ignored unloved

but now i wonder if he used to avoid being photographed or if he had destroyed all his photos

i do still have one photo of him...yes! beady eys...empty cold...i mistook for sadness but it's not it's emptiness

What is it about the eyes??? The "Psychopath" I was married to, (nan, almost typed my Psychopath)used to wear sunglasses

all the time. In fact, I used to ask him to remove them even inside the house. I am thinking now that

it was his way of supporting his mask. As I was figuring out all of this craziness, I would often ask

him to remove his glasses so I could see his eyes. What were once beautiful blue eyes, had become gray

and cold -

I've heard other victims describe them as almost reptilian. There was nothing warm or beautiful about

them any more. That scared and also fasinated me- how is it that someone's eye color can change? I saw

him recently and his eye color was blue again, sparkly blue as I had remembered. I guess the mask was

firmly in place again.

1962

I think you're probably right...the eyes go with the mask
and maybe even depend on how much energy he's guzzling and what he's using it for at the time

but you can't hide in a photograph

no matter how 'good' the mask is somehow the camera lens sees through it!

I look at the photo now and I think: is that really him?!!

he just seems so weak

Funky- they appear so weak, because I truly think they are weak. They do not have the same morals and values that drive "norms" like us. Imagine having nothing in life but the desire to control and conquer- granted that may have been beneficial in the past, but in reality how useful are those skills in today's business model?

Although we do seem to be more and more accepting of personalities that have these "take no prisoners" personalities, the reality is that they are truly nothing with out the "narcissistic supply" and the mirroring of their victims.

So to sum it up, I think that they target STRONG PEOPLE, we are not weak victims as some might suggest. Look around and see how = given all we've been through, we are still standing, learning, reaching out and giving back.

It's what and who we are/ (what probably was attractive to the "Psychopath" in the first place) And truthfully I am not likely to change my basic personality because of what happened to me, but I will learn to set boundaries look for other people's motivations and love myself first and best before even thinking about looking for another relationship of any kind. (as I've read here, bosses, friends ect can also be "Psychopath"s)

1962

i guess it takes a while to feel strong again...am still shaky

i just wanted to add something that i remembered last night: almost 50% of the time when i called him up he would say something like "i feel like crying" and i would get busy trying to find out why? there was never any one specific reason...that's cause i was being suckered! it was a way to get his hooks into me and sap as much energy as he could and then at the end of it all one of his last comments was that i seemed so negative all the time...unbelievable!

Yes! You are so right. Totally unbelievable!

When in an email (written after Mr. Who had returned to his home in another country) I recounted, step by step, minute by minute and word by word what had led up to him trying to kill me as he said he was going to do, he denied each and every word.

I was not only completely wrong, I was also being unkind since I knew that he had just had heart surgery. How could I be so selfish and so unconcerned about his welfare?

He discounted everything I wrote. It had never happened…. Right!

I was slowly crawling out of the rabbit hole and he was not going to shove me back in.

These people will say and do anything to keep you caught and submissive. Why fall for it?

Dry your eyes, Inanna, and take a walk in the spring sunshine.

Nan

Nan and Funky,

All of these things are different ways to manipulate us. Once you are out of the forest, you can see the trees!

How eerie, 1962.

When did you first notice the cold and gray eyes - or what made you notice? Do you remember?

Nan

Has anybody noticed changes in the way they speak? Every since I told him I knew what he was his way of speaking to me has almost completely changed. It sounds much less emotional now, more matter of fact. And he seems to speak quicker. It's so odd. Granted I've only spoken to him twice since I confronted him but each time... so different.