Well, I've finished my temporary job.

I was a bit worried about how I would cope with the tiredness, as it's one of my main triggers. I was working pretty much 7 days a week, travelling to and from another city every day. Also, the company I was working for liked everyone to socialise together after work with potential clients and sponsors, some of whom had come from half way across the world. There were a lot of business/sponsorship events to go to over the course of the month I was working for them.

But I did it! And I think I did it really well...the head of the organization said I was 'brilliant', I was called 'adorable' by one potential sponsor. And I got invited back to do another spell of work for them in December.

The only slightly downside was that one of the people working on the project had a bit of a go at me, towards the very end. She said I was 'unsupportive' and always criticising. I was really hurt by that, and it was completely untrue as I worked harder on this project than I have ever worked before and really kept a tight hold of what I was saying, how I was acting, and how I was coming across. She didn't even apologize for what she had said to me, just acted as if nothing had happened (which infuriated me even more, as I've had a ton of that over my lifetime dealing with my dad). There had been a couple of jibes from her over the course of the month, about her being 'alone' (whereas I was working on the project with my husband). And some of her stuff had been to do with having to try to make herself 'superior' to me.

Anyway, I decided, after reading your posts Di, that I wasn't going to dish out any crap, get defensive, try and be over friendly to make up for it somehow, paper over the cracks if you like. I was just going to try and be neutral. So, in my head, I decided where I was going to put the boundary with her: pleasantness, chit chat, helpfulness (in a work scenario), but that's all. I decided I was in control of the boundary and not get caught up in it.

I did get a little upset over it, and I wish I'd been able to have a little more distance. But hey, I'm not going to be hard on myself, the circumstances were tough and I'm still learning all this stuff.

Starry, if you could see me beaming from joy to hear about your great success. YOU DID IT!!!

Trust me I was a consultant for 20 years and took heat from women over the years, the men I worked for never acted anywhere near how some of the women acted. It is sad that women don't always support other women and are quite ugly when they show their claws.


You did great getting a little upset is only natural, but look how you shined, you did it and extremely well. As you move closer to that neutral spot you will find yourself not getting upset, heck it took me a long time to not get upset when I would tell people to keep away from me and my "kids", now it is easy because I don't care what they think nor do I wish them ill will, just neutral and continue on our pleasant walk without letting them push their ugly looks or words into my mind.

You went further than baby steps but a HUGE step, I couldn't be prouder of you and thank you so much for checking in, you are on your way. I would give you a big old hug for all your hard work and how you handled this stress.

Three cheers for Starry!!!

Di

Good for you, Starry! That is a big step in moving on. I'm proud of you, too. We have to remember that it's not us, it's them. We have to put together what they have torn apart. Glad you are on your way.

Thank you so much! It's really great to be able to share this with people that understand