Thank-you Molly! To me, that seemed a very insightful post! My psychopath. husband could be the child you describe. His mother, in my opinion, is personality disordered, perhaps even psychopathic herself. What you said makes sense from the perspective that in my experience they can really hook you before the first legitimate red flag shows up.

The real self inside, imprisoned by the Dragon, is trotted out to sing and dance at the will of the Dragon, to lure and seduce. This would explain the early feelings of genuineness, of true deep connection and beginnings of hope. Pre-red-flag.

This can not last, of course. But by then it's the frog in the water scenario where the water heats up so slowly that the frog is boiled alive before he is able to hop to safety.... The early soul-connection (could it be even stronger, if you are right, because of the desperation of Real Boy to be recognized, loved and set free?)is remembered and so strong because of the 'first impression' being so deeply real and strongly felt.

But alas the Dragon rules. And the rest, therefore, plays out predictably.

I haven't read this whole thread, so forgive me if this has been mentioned before.
There is a rule of thumb I've learned to use in dealing with my N. mother and the Psychopaths in my life: The narcissist will destroy you if it can bring some attention to themselves. The psychopath will destroy you just because they feel like it at the moment.

That may be pretty simplistic, but it's held true for me so far.

Here is a good article posted by Starry about Narcisstic traits:

NPD traits

Thank you Di.

I hope the article can be of help to people. It certainly helped clarify a few things for me.

Hi, This is all overwhleming to read. I was in a 9 month relationship with a man who I now know to be a psychopath. He lied and wormed his way in to my life and moved in with in a week of dating me. He was like a paracite. All take but could give nothing back emotionally or in any other way. He lack of compassion was terrifying. I am intelligent and highly educated, I have amazing friends and a great job. I never thought I would be taken in by someone like him. He lied compulsivly and was increadibly violent and abusive. He studied me carefully and used my like and passions to establish a false connection between us He knew I loved animals my dog and cats. So made out he loved animals. But, within months of moving in the way he beat my dog it was very clear he did not love animals, then he started to beat me. I thought i was going mad because he always justified beating me and had a demonic like ability to convince me I was in the wrong. He was extemely manipulative and controlling and very nearly destroyed my life and almost lost me my liberty. i thought I was going insane living with him even though I have always been emotionally strong and stable. He was inceadibly sadistic and was all take. It feels unbelieveable. Becausce when I first met him, he was kind, sensitive, generous and supportive. it was like living with two different people. The police were involved in the end and I had to go to court. It was horrific. He also had an amazing ability to con me out of money and my possessions. The court case finally ended on the 2nd week of Janujary this year. So this is all very new and raw to me. Thankfully, all my friends and my work colleagues and employer have supported me all the way.

It ended very badly with the police removing him from my home. I have read that they hoard women, and I have been warned it is likely he will come back. Surely, that cannot be true can it?