Di, I'm really sorry, this is probably in the wrong place. Please feel free to move it somewhere more appropriate.

I have a thing about photographs. Quite a big thing.

It's partly to do with seeing myself in photographs. It's very, very, very triggering, as it reminds me of being split off from myself. I also don't recognise myself in them (I don't recognise myself in the mirror either). My OT has said this is a self defence mechanism. Fair enough, I completely accept what she says.

It's partly to do with the freedom that people seem to have in posting them online. They seem to do this without a second thought (and certainly without asking for your permission beforehand). I find this assumption triggering too.

Also, not that I think my dad is internet savvy, but I don't want images of me ending up online that he could find. The last time I ever spoke to him I told him he would know nothing more about my life, ever. That was me regaining control and setting the boundaries on my terms. And I'm also scared for my life with him.

So I attended an event last week. I'm on very good terms with the official photographer, and I asked her not to take photos of me. She was totally understanding and very respectful.

Now the event organiser has been/is posting other people's pictures online, photos that some of the guests took on the night.

I've emailed her to ask her to make sure that she doesn't post any of them.

This was her answer to me (yes, in block capitals!):
'I WILL CHECK THEM BUT I THINK U MAY B IN ONE BUT RIGHT IN THE BACKGROUND Can I ask why ? x'.

I'm really freaking out now. In a panic, cold sweat, my heart is pounding. What was unclear about what I wrote? Why does she have to know the reason? Isn't it enough that I asked?

I've emailed her back:
'Even if I'm in the background, I'm still in the photograph! Please don't post it online.'

...and now she's deleted the messages from our twitter conversations!

AFAIK it is illegal to post photos of you in public if don't agree. You are not a celebrity, you have the right to ask them to delete it or at least make so your face isn't visible. I don't know how it works in US though. In Europe, fe in Germany, even Google Maps have a huge problem coz people don't want their photos online.

Good that you stood up for yourself, the all caps was downright weird. I don't think without consent and she in the end did the right thing. It was rude however to ask you why, I support you there.

New Bird is right but the lines are so blurred, I am sure the photographer knew doing so was not legal without your permission.

I'll start a new discussion in the social media section later then move this.

I have a funny thing about photos also and always avoid getting them taken, why, the only reason I can think is that I am a private person in some ways and never had many pictures taken of me as a child. Before I knew how Facebook and Linkedin operated I posted a picture of myself because a friend wanted to see my "girls" The Linkedin link . Now all you have to do is Google me and you can see it, fortunately they got all the wrong contact information, city, state wrong but still it bothers me. I have nothing to hide but I didn't appreciate my picture getting hijacked. I am thankful they got all the wrong information because people from my past who were not supportive I don't want in my life or hand them a way to contact me and dredge all that back up again.

I will never go to Facebook again, cancelled the membership. I think I only visited once or twice years ago and had no idea my pic would be public information. I don't have horns out of the top of my head or anything I just don't like my picture taken also or more importantly blasted all over the Internet. Personally I think social media is just not for me, I don't want to meet people so desperately that I have no interest in meeting. I get a few invitations to join people's networks on Linkedin and just don't. Call it weird or whatever but I don't do it, can't see any purpose. My luck if I accepted they would get my contact information correct somehow.

I think as a society the line between privacy and public information is too blurred for my taste. I think these social mediums could be very dangerous for our community, the idea is to avoid contact not feed them information about where you are etc. If I want someone to have my information it would have to be a purpose that suits me.

I am proud you stuck up for yourself, it was none of her business why you wanted it removed.

Di

I just found the privacy policy for Linkedin and am going to have my information removed, I would advise anyone who doesn't want their pics etc. to google yourself and see what is out there. Privacy Policy

While I was looking it showed I had 4,034 New people in your Network since October 12. Who are all these people, no clue.

The best browser to go on the Internet so all the ad trackers etc. don't follow you around and get your information is: Firefox with Firefox you don't let groups like Linkedin track you. From the privacy policy at Linkedin: serve advertisements both on and off LinkedIn.Through cookies and other technologies that allow us to recognize you, customize your experience, and Learn more about cookies, beacons in Sections 1G and 1H, below. You can opt-out of advertising off LinkedIn here.

You don't need to opt out of advertising on LinkedIn, Firefox does that for you automatically.

I don't know how it works though the United States. In Europe, the Philippines in Germany, even if Google maps has a big problem, because people don't want their online image.