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#16515 - 01/13/15 10:56 PM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: Dianne E.]
Rich21 Offline
member

Registered: 12/28/14
Posts: 3
To be quite honest Di I think my eldest brother may be a psycopath he manipulates me by using guilt but I have found way to combat this. He always gets very aggresive when I visit. Recently,without being paranoid he has been watching T.V. shows & movies I like which I think do not fit in with his personality if you know what I mean. and he always goes on about certain mistakes I have made 20 years ago. I do not think this is normal.

Rich 21
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#16632 - 09/18/15 04:00 PM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: planetchildren]
agnim Offline
member

Registered: 09/18/15
Posts: 1
Another devastating situation here, and need to hear from people who have experience with psychopaths
3 years ago, my husband just walked away leaving me with 3 little kids

Ever since divorce started I have been discovering him in such a strange ways that were kind of present while we were married, but he would always charm me into it, and put another mask, but now he obviously started twisting things, giving me illogical explanations, lies,,,, and I would go ballistic not understanding any of it. For a long time I couldnít stop crying from sadness and confusion. I had seen him lie before, take advantage of people, but it was ďmildĒ and he always made a joke about it like no big deal, but once we started divorce those lies and games started growing bigger, meaner, devastating, it seemed as if he was trying to persuade himself in the stories he was fabricating

At the same time he was rapidly climbing up business pyramid becoming a CEO of a big marketing agency having only high school diploma, just another thing to confuse me. So pretty soon I learned of psychopaths and found him in every description I read. He gave me a clue on this, after starting counseling which I begged for a few years ago, and then he stopped after 3 sessions, but told me that the therapist told him, he was missing center for processing emotions, then I put pieces together

I have been having hell of a life for the past 3 years. I also took my kids for counseling, and they are still doing it, but when I told the psychologist about my suspicion that he might be Psychopath, she told me she cant do anything till the damage is done. He will not harm them physically, but emotionally he manipulates them and has only been providing entertaining and materialistic aspects of relationship so much of it that my 10 y old son, said, daddy is ok but doesnít have a hearth
No one except for my best girlfriend could understand what Iím experiencing. I was left suddenly in the middle of the night without any conversation about divorce, tho he left me 2 times in the past and come back, this time with a baby less then a year old, and 8 & 11 years old kids, no job, in a very isolated area out of the city.

My family did not understand the heaviness of my situation even when I ended up in the emergency 10 months ago and had a spine surgery, disc hernia, and Iím about to lose the house for he took the kids while I was in recovery and stop pay mortgagee

I started seeing a therapist some time ago only to come to the issues with my mother, the drama queen, who goes from grandiose to depressed, who always has been accusing one of the family members for something wrong in her life, first was my father for many years, the moment I become an adult it was me, when I moved to the other country, my sister become the enemy. Then my father suddenly passed away from hearth attack .The whole family is always in fights, there are accusations, misinterpretations, and mother always rules the game, itís all about her needs and unhappiness.
The therapist tells me I had allowed the psychopath in my life, because I developed the model of empathizing and serving a person with narcissist disorder or something like that

Now I have a double fire in my life, and the moment I heard this I wanted to cut already heavy and sick relationship with her, but the growing problem is the relationship with my 4 siblings. Im learning from my psychopath husband that cutting contacts and minimizing conversations is the only possible way, but I cant do this with my mother, because my siblings, unaware of her diagnosis and regardless of the fact that none one of them live happy lives, are backfiring on me

They didn't have the wake up call I got from Psychopath. in order to realize that we were raised by narcissist, and They donít sympathize with my situation

when Iím not available for family fights and discussions over another game my mother is playing, they call my kids who already have difficult childhood, dealing with divorce, psychopath father, and now my sisters telling them what to do
Iím getting into another spider web, which I cannot afford, and want to take a distance from all of them until I heal. feel very alone in the experience

What to do
English is my second language, so please tolerate






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#16633 - 09/21/15 08:40 AM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: agnim]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Agnim, I am very sorry to read about your situation. I apologize for the delay in responding as I have been finishing editing my book for publication this week.

I am trying to clear up a few questions I have about your situation.

How long were you married to him? Did you know him for a long time before marriage?
If I am reading this correctly he currently has custody or your kids? Was this approved by the legal system where you live? I am not asking what country you are in but maybe there are laws there that would be very different than here.

Do you get to visit with your kids and how are they doing?

I am sorry for asking so many questions but there are some things I don't understand.

I look forward to your reply.

Di

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#16737 - 05/19/16 05:04 PM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: planetchildren]
Styx Offline
member

Registered: 05/13/16
Posts: 19
planetchildren ~

I have no idea if you will get this or not because I see that you signed up for the group over 5 years ago. I hope you have found your way through it all.

What annoys a psychopath the most?

Being ignored. Not answering their questions or giving them any attention at all. They thrive on being the center of attention, and when they do not get it will make them anxious. (Make sure you are safe at all times.) They HAVE TO know all the answers, know what is coming next so they can control the outcome. In many ways they manipulate others because of what we casually talk about. Subjects as mundane as the weather they can twist to their favor and used as a weapon.

What makes a psychopath go away?

Well, this one is tough.
Some psychopaths never go away, they will forever believe a part of you belongs to them.
Some unknowingly will stalk you until something or someone more interesting comes along. They say it will take about 3 - 4 months before they start to lose interest.And
Some will go away if you are just flat boring. Be the most boring person you can be. Unexciting, depressed, sickly, etc ... whatever it takes. They will eventually get bored and find something or someone new. This could take awhile.
Sometimes you just have to start over somewhere else and make sure they do not follow.

I hope that helps.

Styx

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#16976 - 09/09/17 11:52 AM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: planetchildren]
jewls Offline
member

Registered: 09/01/17
Posts: 6
Thank you for the list. Where can I find more information on what to do? I am still married to mine and have only just come to the realization he might be a Psychopath. It is just something I've denied for years and have just been blaming myself and tried to fix what he didn't like about me rather than realizing he is a Psychopath. and there will never be any fixes good enough for him.
I had been keeping a journal as best I can for a while which is something that has helped me keep focus.
Since Dec. of last year strange things started happening at night while I was sleeping and I decided to record my sleeping to see what it could be if anything? (I did this privately) What surprised me is when I listened to it
I heard whispering in the background. It sounded like someone in our house?
IE: I love you, You are the woman I want.... I hear a young person say a name then, I want to go home?

I asked my husband about it and he said that I am now hearing things? I said no I'm sure I'm not cant you hear that?
He says: Now you have completely lost it if you don't get a grip on reality I want a divorce because if you think I am like that then I am afraid of you and what you might do to me?
This took me by complete surprise? I had no idea he would react in such a way? Now I hallucinate and am paranoid delusional?according to him. He came up with there are "ghost in the house"
He has actually almost convinced me that I am loosing it and he is announcing to ppl. that I am delusional.

A couple of months ago his Brother broke up with his wife and came to stay with us for a while. He didn't know anything about the recordings.
And I told him that I was busy with recording EVP's I explained to him that we thought their may be ghosts in our house
and I would love to know if he could take a listen? He said sure and told me that he thought it was really strange but
that he could hear the same thing I heard.
That to me was my moment I actually had someone else confirm what I had heard and now I know Im not crazy or
loosing my mind . His sister heard it also.
Im wondering just how bad is it when you stumble upon something like that? I was never really afraid before but now I am concerned? He has never hurt me physically so I never thought about him doing something physical to me. What concerned me I suppose was last week he woke me up out of a deep sleep (which is something I seem to be in lately not sure why?) and told me that he had just had a scary dream about me.
He said that a man had come up behind me at the grocery market while I was getting into my car and slit my throat with a knife. ?

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#16991 - 09/29/17 08:16 PM Re: **Top Ten List - What to do [Re: jewls]
DadofRad Offline
member

Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 129
That is very spooky. Dianne and I talked about this on the podcast. If you are in a situation like that where you suspect something. Get some hidden recorders or cameras and monitor for a couple of weeks to a month. Don't let him know you are monitoring. You can even get cameras that hide in smoke detectors and only turn on when there is motion or sound.

Dadforad

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