Hello everyone,

My ex-psychopath really did it this time. He almost killed her, she barely escaped. It made the top headlines on the news. All of the horrific details. It was on the local news on television, it was on the internet. His face and the story, all out there.

I have had no contact with him for over a year...yet his latest crime feels like the culmination of ten years of personal hell.

As I read the story with all of the heinous details, I began to sob and shake. I wanted to throw up. I had to pull over because I was too upset to drive. Each minute that passed allowed the severity of his appalling actions to resonate through my mind and heart.

In an instant, everything I had been through with him flashed before my eyes. I could hear his words, I could see his crazy eyes, and I could feel the fear for my life that I had buried deeply so many years ago. I cried my eyes out like I never have before. It was horribly intense.

Hi Violent, I am so very sorry for having to live this pain all over. I can't imagine in my wildest thoughts how much pain you must be in.

Imo all Psychopaths are capable of killing, the question is what triggers the mask to drop to carry out their evil.

Di

Violet, I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes have moments like these myself, my Psychopath also tried to kill me... timing is similar.
I hope it's gonna be just a flashback for you, maybe few days. In my case I still get sleepless nights sometimes, but it's getting better. I am immune to this already and I am sure that I'm strong enough to handle this.
I hope you can too! In any case we are all here for you!

I'm so, so sorry to hear that you are having to relive those painful memories.

All I could think even now four months into sobriety, is that I'd crave a drink or a smoke in that situation.
You have done so well in your own sobriety, that I am praying for you, hoping that you continue on the healthy path you have created for yourself and use your newfound strength to get you through this. Writing about your feelings here or in your own diary may also help.

Sorry you went threw this *big hugs* I'm going threw the same thing myself I stumbled on to his picture on the net one day to find out the guy who was my abuser was wanted all over North America for three premeditated murders. Seeing his face really was a eye opener for me as I was trying to avoid feeling and triggers for along time, and then I saw his face and all the fears I had just over whelmed me. I was and still am slightly paranoid of running into him ever again-just posting my story half the time is hard for me, but I figure better to help others than say nothing about what I went threw out of fear.

Wandering_Star (and others too), is it possible for you to give a statement to the police 'for information purposes only'?

We have this where I live, and it means that the police take down all the details of what happened and keep it on file. They don't pursue a prosecution on your behalf, but your statement would then become evidence if someone else were to pursue a prosecution.

Do you have this where you are? Would it be something that you might be interested in doing? If you are, and it's entirely up to you, then a rape crisis centre near where you are (or a domestic violence project) would be able to give you advice and help you through the process.

Posting that also for the many people who read the forum without actively posting.

I want to now but I'm scared to at the same time. -I'm not sure if that's an option even but I wouldn't doubt it is.

Wandering Star, a true psychopath is dangerous & they will go to great lengths to destroy..
so use your gut about things, but also separate yourself from him. Yes, try to work on things that matter to you in order to heal.

Ex h Psychopath liked to hurt me, to destroy me. He took my life as a single person & I am disabled & he destroyed it.. he didn't have to, he could have stayed gone when he left, he could have paid on the debt created from all of this coming back & forth, he didn't. He said he'd never be with another woman again, he lied, he told people he was dying when he would come back to me or leave (he said actually his son was dying when he left here last/ which is a lie)...
he would laugh when he was leaving me to be homeless or leaving me stuck to have to pay all the bills when we were married.. I am disabled & I told him how serious this all was, that I am vulnerable.. it was a joke to him, I am a joke.
I would not want to be him on judgement day.
The difference betweena psychopath & non psychopath is that they want to hurt/destroy.. they seek to one up everyone by their large ego/conceit & they need to destroy.
I read the other day that they hate people that are weak/sick/elderly.. & that's how I felt when I was with him that he despised me because I am disabled..yet he would say how we were such a good match & most certainly he didn't do everything at home, I did the cooking & cleaning for the most part..
He goes thru wives/women..
I hear you about posting.. the reason I post is that I am home a lot yet/ it's going to take yrs to repair this damage.. & it's an outlet for me. I truely believe that he would follow me & destroy me further here.. I think he would not be happy until I don't exist!?
it's just bizarre.. truely.
He would say all sorts of things / said he had prophecy (theyuse this ploy to get women)...
there's a whole lot he said that did not come to pass on his part...
He has a pattern of failed marriages.. he cannot live anywhere for any length of time..
His family said to me they thought he finally stopped running.. NOT.
I remember too when we were together he would tell me he had never been in love before which to me seemed odd for someone his age, not to mention his prior marriages.
Just try to stay away from him, I think the healing comes in time not having them around us to do more harm. It is by far the most damaging thing I have experienced. He destroyed my life.
other than dead.. there's not much more he could have done to me.
I've never been with someone who lives to hate. he was about hate.. it was so freaking weird.. his talk of love is a vacuum... was to suck me in to hate me & spit me back out (destroyed).. dunno..
RUN don't walk .. my own life at least he is not here to further destroy what is left of my life & it has been pure hell coming back even as far as I have..
I am not one to hate & this has been so hard for me to even grasp.. I can deal with most all things, I am a happy person & much peace inside of myself/ but from a realistic standpoint, my life is destroyed.. that's a fact.. it will take a lot of time to rebuild & heal..