The one thing that I read that sticks out in my mind is that Psychopaths don't change. They don't have a conscious. They are cruel, calculating, and will disregard you as trash when the need arises.

I'm sorry, but it sounds as if you have your own issues (we all do when we put up with and stay with a Psychopath). Don't feel bad, just focus on yourself. Put your shoes on and run as fast as you can to the horizon and never look back.

He sounds like my ex, blaming me for everything that goes wrong. But if I were to help him with something that went right, it was because of him with no help from anyone. It's that me, me, me. Don't stick your hand out to him. What helped me is trying to put myself into that selfish stage, and pretending to make it all about me. He didn't like that and the elimination of me in his life went much faster than I or anyone expected. And don't buy that 'I drink because of you' garbage. My ex did the same thing, because I was a beoch and whatever other excuses they concoct in their head. They drink b/c they want to drink, they are addicts and will project and blame anyone in their way. If it isn't you, it is someone else.

Good luck, I hope you get away. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

Jewels, your comments are insightful & spot on.. I am contemplating at this time the stages of recovery which under normal circumstances of, "grief," would be far less stark in nature.

The drain you speak of in sense of energy drain which is somehow purposes, is interesting to think about in a spiritual sense which is how I need to make sense of, what goes on in my life.

At each stage of this recovery from the nightmare, it seems almost separate each one, more than what I would think a less malintentioned loss is.

I, of course, as this is with us who are left behind in their sordid attempt to reign, I spent the better part of 1 & 1/2 yrs working on logistics of divorce, bankruptcy, property sales. which of course was left for me to do in it's entirity. Not to mention the fact I am disabled, & that he made sure I was without easy transportation of which prior to our meeting I had made sure that was never messed with in an overall sense. I had a lot of acquaintances & supports, well rounded, that nothing like this (crisis) would leave me at rock bottom.
& yet thanks to the workings of this ? that I married, I now find myself at that place of which I worked hard my entire life for it not to happen.

If I didn't believe in God & have a strong faith I'd probably give up, but it's the one thing I hold onto & have to for any sanity in this. I still am holding on, by a thread frankly, & need so much more help that it is very very difficult to find in my town for someone disabled & to piece back together in an overall fashion as much as what I have lost.

IF it hadn't been so many losses which have accumulated thanks to his careless uncaring self, I might not be at this place. For him, he packed his bags /belonging each time he pulled this stunt & in a few hours & phone calls he was gone .. to a new life. For me as vulnerable as I am in a literal sense, though I am strong on the inside, resourceful, healthconscious & healthy in a health sense, my physical limitations hamper me to the point, of? & for what reason, it is, as you say, to drain, spirit, soul, financial, physically. I find myself here, ready to land ? further as his workings in my life, the negative effects thereof are not yet accomplished it seems.

I do see a light at the end of the tunnel but for me I believe it may be Heaven, God, that healing that comes in a spiritual sense, because most days are yet a struggle in the extreme to get atop of this nightmare. My faith is not in man of which I was taught (in scripture), but in GOD. I am being tested more than I could have ever imagined. My dignity is important to me as to my moral self & being right (with GOD). I have not given up yet. What harm can one do to the flesh which is mortal, it is the soul that lives/dies. SO, crymanysakes, I am still praying for miracles to heal in a very literal sense. This experiences is very devastating. I don't wish harm on another but I am quite bewildered how one person could do so much damage to another. I am vulnerable, disabled, now divorced, & starting over, midlife, not an easy task.