I apologize for being mia. I am struggling with this blood disorder. I don't want any member to think they are being ignored.

I will try to catch up with some comments this weekend.

I swear if I could I would rent a bus and travel the country to warn people about what can happen when you go the medication route for depression I would. I have surgery scheduled the end of December and will be away for a week the first part of December.

I hope the community understands, the forum is here for all of you.

Please accept my apologies, I check in to make sure things are okay and sometimes have been posting but I don't want anyone to think they are being ignored on my behalf.

If there are any issues or things that need my immediate attention, please use the notify button and it sends me an email to deal with any issues.

Di

Diana, I pray you get to feeling better. The blood disorder is a result of the meds?

Meds are such a mixed deal.. Ones for diabetes or the like are so nescessary but like you say ones that treat something more in a bandaid fashion are more debatable. I guess my idea of the ones for depression typically should be used like they have therapy nowasdays, it's more short term & directed to help the client/patient to tackle the current issues. Some of the new depression meds supposedly help to create new neurons but oftentimes more sensitives are experienced on the drugs. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this .. it sounds serious. TAKE CARE! Thank you for running this forum. I have found help in sharing as I mention on another thread/post that in writing I can at times leave my anger & it's connecting with others who have dealt with similar (Psychopath) experience.

Let us know how things are going?! Take care of yourself!

I hope you are OK Di.

Sending you positive, healing thoughts.

Hi Starry and Healing, thanks for your kind words. Yes the blood disorder is a direct result of a medication for depression, it is a mood stabilizer called Lamictal. The truth of these drugs is they damage your brain neurons, I have neuron damage along with this blood disorder. From what research I have done it is possible for the neurons to get back to working like they should with regular sleep patterns because that is when our brain deals with these things. I am hoping that now I am finally drug free and getting on a sleep pattern the visual issues will correct, only time will tell if it is permanent. Fortunately it didn't cripple me, I was one step from a stroke and still have visual issues. I could have survived the depression without medication but once they get you on them it is an onslaught of meds that they really know very little about the serious implications. Even when my blood disorder popped up literally overnight I got zero support, they only wanted to change to a "less severe side effect" drug. It damaged the veins in my legs so am on bed rest until surgery that will luckily fix that issue the end of December. It creates a catch 22, when they see you are on meds your complaints put you in the crazy box and when you go off the meds it is the same treatment. It took me over 8 months of going back to the diagnosing blood specialists, the neuro surgeon who identified the medication etc. As my legs got worse I went back to all of them and was told the bulging veins and weakness was due to age. When I finally found a specialist who actually listened they could identify the problem that I had been pointing out to others quite simply. All they did was have me stand for a minute and see that my feet turned purple. The neuro surgeon would only suggest that I go back and get on more drugs.

We all can have major depression when life altering things happen, drugs are not the answer. I was one of the healthiest people around, never even got the flu until I was in the grasp of the psychiatry world and loaded up on pills over the years. They don't heal you, they might make you feel better for awhile. Like a friend of mine she has been trying to go off her anti depressants and goes back after awhile because for a short time they make you feel better. Depending on how long a person is taking them it takes normal sleep patterns to readjust the damage the drugs are causing so it is important to ride it out and not think going back on the drugs is the solution.

I keep having to go back to my neutral spot because just thinking about how our society abuses prescription drugs as the answer triggers me. I am okay with writing about it for our community because I would guess the odds of anyone dealing with a Psychopath is in the 100% range and from my case the only answer I was given was to go on medication. Now it is considered normal practice and alternative information is thought of as being fringe, what a twisted world. You can't watch TV for less than 5 minutes without seeing drugs advertised for depression. In the ads they do list the serious side effects but when the Dr. is handing out the pills they do not tell you they more than likely will cause serious harm. In my case even when I was "hit" they still insisted that I was flawed and needed more drugs which were just as potentially harmful. You have to be your own advocate, just because I didn't go to medical school I have done a ton of research and there is no answer for depression that will be helped by drugs.

Off my soap box,

Di

Di, it's always an absolute pleasure to read your posts. You have such a strong, empowering vision...it's very inspiring.

I'm only sorry that you've been through all of this and are still having to deal with it.

Dianne,

It is good to take note of the med you are speaking of & like you say once they have a patient in this loop of doctors & meds it's hard to get out of it. I know that the aftermath of all of this accumlated loss post ex h Psychopath, is a nightmare. It has to be THE worst experience & devastation in total I have experienced. BUT like you say pushing through as much as possible without being drugged up is better than getting into more complications (via meds).

I think the new drugs too they don't know the side effects long term. Plus as you say the commercials are enough to scare a person with what can go wrong, it's a wonder why they give the patient the meds in the first place.

I feel I did a lot of healing with ex h Psychopath & also was positioned in my life that I wanted to marry, waited & was actually very happy with him, in love & excited about, "us." BUT he over the course of a number of yrs unravelled everything that was familiar to me, to the point my life is barely recognizable as to what it was before. My supports are not there as I need them & with my current disability issues of which are not unbarable but it's that I do not now have the supports I am needing ... SO, I do hear you that in loss & major loss in particular it can send a person into a spiral effect of which most doctors & social workers are EAGER to treat with prescription drugs.

I think this scenerio of medicate is worse now too than ever before. They LOVE treating people with anti depressants, they rarely give out anti anxieties. I hear what you are saying!

My own belief is that the world itself is in a VERY psychopathic state of control of which the drugs, anti d's, narcotics, anything that causes a dependence, top /down affect, which locks a person/people, all of society into a needy state & thus confused & dependent. It only fits too with the economy failing, job loss, etc. Why not drug the people so they can't feel at all.

The Psychopaths do this in such a clever way of luring by placing a person/people on a pedastal but later very conveniently & covertly knocking them off, beating them down & running over with a bus, while they walk away & laugh/ which compares to the state of the nation/s' people now lacking in so many areas. It would be one thing if there were opportunities & genuine caring of, the people, one for another but it seems there is a general NEED for control of those that seek to destroy. The battle good vs. evil is real & I think there are those that are suffering in the extreme because of the egomaniacs, greedy, evil intentions, of many of the ones, "in charge."

Why not drug the people, that they shut their mouths & better yet, take away all of their capabilities, of which psychopaths love doing, mask it with their fake commitments, lies of genuine concern .. the whole world is broken down. I suspect that this incapacitated state of those whose lives have been cut down neglegantly will pay a price.

Those that I talk with who are telling me some of what is going on behind the scenes at one (gov) agency in particular I know is also rampant all over & for a long time where they let people go that are ready to retire & there is NO true belonging or concern for employees, those devoted for yrs to service. Esp those near retirement, they make sure to fire.

They say that psychopaths function best in a bad economy, when things in the world are falling apart because their nature is one where they love the adulation, their egos feed off of the oppression of.

Likely many to most psychopaths suffer from a personality disorder which in many cases is biological/ brain related where they are wired differently. That doesn't excuse AT ALL the damage done to others of which in many to most cases for their victims is life altering.

What you are saying Dianna in your experience & then in dealing with the medication that further breaks down the healing which has to take place in a state of loss from all of this, becomes almost a, "time tunnel," scenerio.

I think the world is in a free fall mode right now, there are those that are, "in the world," & those, "of the world." No matter what prescription others write, remaining clear & able to make decisions, rejecting that which is false, walking through the fire, no matter how hot, to love, seeing truth, living truth & not becoming part of the lie.

Psychopaths may be different & I suspect there are those whom God Does give a purpose in their walk as God Is Love, but pretending /medicating to the false, turning heads when people hurt, being part of oppression & demise is not the answer (in my mind).

One day soon, there will come a time when the beast will write that script of choice, the mark, of which there is no mind, eternal damnation /suffering will follow. I believe strongly that some right now more than ever, their extreme suffering & there are those that suffer at the hands of another, it shows, "the signs of the times."

(I think you said you got off the soap box.. so I decided to use it for a bit!?! )

Praying you get to feeling better Dianne!

.. at least holding onto to our spirit/ the love that is, our energy, light, as spirit beings, noone can crush us.. for all souls to keep that in mind...
life is eternal & no person or situation can crush our spirit/soul. God Never Leaves us!
I loved ex h Psychopath so much & it just perplexes me to no end how he could do what he did to me..
but I keep in mind, God Wrote The Book of Life, & pardon my lengthy post..

Di, my thoughts are with you too!
I cannot express how much I admire what you've done for years here. It is really amazing!

Wow, 1Healing. What a wonderful soap box. :-)

Diane, I was really sad to hear that it was Lamictal that hurt you. That is nasty stuff. I hope you are able to find healing and relief.

Hi Di, you are in my prayers. It is not fair that you have been hit with so much. I have just met you here, and I already see that you are such a strong person... have faith in your ability to heal. Thank you for discussing meds. I am on two, one is the one you mentioned. I am scared. My brain neurons have already been damaged by a seizure. Dont need more damage!!! I am going to wean off of it. I will talk to my therapist first of course. I have a new therapist... she does not support medications. They are not really helping. This grief doesnt seem to go away, nothing makes me feel better (except this site)...so why be on meds? I thank you so deeply.

Thank you blueheron.

My emotions are so stark & raw lately. My plate is overflowing right now..it's been such an extreme burden since ex h left. There have been times too that I really feel endangered because of all of this. IE I have a nice apt & nice location in town. BUT my neighbors, in 3 directions of me are smoking meth now.. & I am now going to likely have to move. It's just one thing after another.. I haven't even secured help yet of which I really need.. & to pack & move.
I'm trying so hard to see the goodness among the loss of which is real.. it's not easy.
I appreciate your kind words. It does help me to vent.
Illness makes all of this & healing so much more difficult. I can relate to that for sure..
& I do appreciate the forum. To find a place where others have gone thru this trauma & share helps to let go.. at least for a bit!