I was raised in a home with a manipulative, drunk father and a codependent, depressed mother. His lies and lack of caring toward me were painful, but I didn't realize he was a psychopath. The hurt I still feel the most is thinking back to my childhood and always wondering why he didn't love me. I was never good enough....never mattered. I have an older step-sister who our father basically abandoned twice. She has many problems and refuses to speak to me. I also have three younger brothers. By the time I was 11 and the second one came along, I was pretty much raising them. I worked hard in school in knew I would get away from them all one day. I had dreams of going to California and living in the fake world of Hollywood where everyone was happy. At the time I didn't feel guilt at leaving my younger brothers. My father didn't come to my highschool graduation nor my college graduation. Both still hurt. Fast forward 20 years to this past year. In therapy I have come to realize and accept that not only is my father a psychopath, but so is my middle younger brother and his wife. They are so brutally mean and I can't cut them out of my life. I'll explain more in another post.....have to get back to work now....
Suraya
Previous Topic
Index