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#13128 - 04/27/12 12:46 PM Re: Empathy, compassion and forgiveness. [Re: Tang]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Im suffering from the same....no contact in over 3 mos......after 3yrs of sleeping with him every night........it's getting easier every day but trust me..it totally sucks.

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#13133 - 04/27/12 03:50 PM Re: Empathy, compassion and forgiveness. [Re: becky]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
They disappear when they don't need you anymore. But it's not you. Any normal person would never do anything like this, and even if they hurt you they'd fell ashamed and bad and truly sorry and they'd do anything for you to forgive them. A Psychopath doesn't feel sorry.

What you should remember though, about it all and especially your feelings, is that you had and lost, while they never had anything in the first place. And while you can go on, recover, and gain much much more and much much better, they never can. They will never have the most important, most amazing thing in the world, something that defines humanity and makes life worth living - they will never have all these feelings.
And while you suffer and hurt now, and they stay indifferent, remember that once its gone, they will still be indifferent to life, while you will love and joy and embrace life even more that you ever did.

As humans, we have this amazing ability to heal and grow. They don't. And they never will.

They don't have a choice about their life. You do.

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#13135 - 04/27/12 05:24 PM Re: Absolutely [Re: FreeBird]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
NewBird...I so wish I had your anger...I am so stuck in the traumatized state.....

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#13141 - 04/28/12 07:32 AM Re: Absolutely [Re: becky]
Tang Offline
member

Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 8
I can so relate to what you feel becky,some days i feel im getting over this and then comes backfire and i get sad and depressed,still not understanding how he could do this,how he can just drop me out of his life. He has no friends,i was his only friend in every way,after what he did to me he is still angry because i freaked out and said everything that i felt about him,i know i was right......i had crazy anxiety because he had a key to my house and i felt like my keychain burned me cos his key was there,i demanded a key switch that made me much calmer. Now i am just sad and empty inside,glad this anxiety having him arround is gone but i miss him,him how he was when he was "normal" but he was only that way arround me,arround others he was always a clown.

This is the hardest thing i have ever had to live in my life,i wish there was a pill i could take and i would not remember him at all,like life was before i met him.

Its all about HIM like always....damn i feel pathetic frown

Do you feel like this? Am i the only one? I think normal people cant understand this.

It does suck.
Tang

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#13144 - 04/28/12 08:37 AM Re: Absolutely [Re: Tang]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
Tang, we all do feel this way.
It fades a little bit over time but I dont know if there's ever a happy place. I hope there is.

Today I was walking down the street and I saw him for a moment, crossing my path... well, it wasn't him, just someone who looked a little like him. But my heart stopped. A shot of cold fear, and I was almost trembling.

And what scares me the most is it wasn't just that fear of Psychopath, it was also the fear that if I look into his eyes he'll gain control once again...

It was a scary experience, but also an important one.
I've noticed that the more you correlate them with all this fear and bad stuff, the easier it gets. The biggest problem is dealing with their two-faced character. They are sweet, and lovable at first, or as long as you cater them, then comes the evil face. Just keep remembering the evil and it gets better.

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#13146 - 04/28/12 10:01 AM Re: Absolutely [Re: Tang]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Tang,

Quote:

Do you feel like this? Am i the only one? I think normal people cant understand this.


I know you are in a world of pain. Please know that we are normal people who had this awful thing happen to us, that is why we understand. I think is next to impossible to have someone who didn't experience this horror terror to even try or be able to understand. I ended up with one person who understood and that is rare. The rest ignored me and thought I was the crazy one and sadly some thought I deserved what I got and must have done something wrong myself to cause it to happen. Truly sad, but we are here for you and although we may never meet in person we will listen to you as you process this horrible life altering pain.

Di

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#13148 - 04/28/12 10:35 AM Re: Absolutely [Re: Tang]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Tang.....Everyone is so right.....we all feel the same!.....I have to say today I am feeling some anger.....YEA....not a lot but f u kind of stuff......I heard a song that I love and I try to remember it in the dark times....Katy perry sings it it's her new song (it's called "part of me") and it goes like this ...THIS IS THE PART OF ME THAT YOUR NEVER GONNA TAKE AWAY FROM ME....YOUR NOT GOING TO TAKE MY SOOOUUULLLLL!........NOW LOOK AT ME I'M SPARK A LING!...that's my favorite part! yea girlfriend, keep singing that!...look it up on you tube..it's fabulous! and so are we, now sparkle!!!

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#13150 - 04/28/12 10:57 AM Re: Absolutely [Re: becky]
Tang Offline
member

Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 8
I want to let you know your are all amazing! This reply from you both is like getting sunshine into my soul....for the first time in a long time i really feel like someone understands without judging me. Reading this got tears in my eyes because i can just open up,not pretend im some tough person that im not,im just a broken woman that is desperatly trying to get the peaces of my life back in order and trying to understand why and how this happened to me.

Now i feel stronger (i know there will be a setback on that) i might go two steps forward and one back but i will and i must get my inner peace back and reading all your stories and how you deal with day to day feelings and thoughts are helping me alot.

Thanks to you all.

Tang

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#13151 - 04/28/12 12:08 PM Re: Absolutely [Re: Tang]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
tang.... smile......just for you!

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