Hello, I am new here and I am trying to make sense of my situation right now - it's quite painful to realise that I have fallen for someone who has over a period of 7 years slowly chipped away at my self belief and self confidence. I am here to get some opinions and learn more about this person.
I have seperated from my ex in October and together we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter. Since we split thibgs have become increasingly difficult and I am beginning to see trades of his character I had not noticed - or did not want to notice. I want to give you a list of some of his character traits and hopefully get some opinions from you:

- Extremely passiv and negative - he will moan about everything and everyone - in particular people who have achieved things in life, have a better education or are figures of authoraty like Police men, politicians, laywers...etc.
- Unwillingeness to take responsibilities or to better his situation in life - even when being handed options on a silver tray.
- He has been calling me names such as Nutter, Crazy woman, Nutcase and Psycho. He has also told our daughter that she should not listen to me because I am a Psycho.
- He does not consider my feelings - and does not take things that I find important serious.
- He very often makes very hurtful, cynical comments to the point that I feel very angry and frustrated - when I in return raise my voice he will tell me that I am over reacting and that I am emotionally unstable. He told me in the past that he thought that I have anger management problems and that I should seek help.
- He will twist words - not respond to reasonable arguments I am making and somehow always makes me feel as though I did not make things clear or that I was being unreasonable and unfair.
- Yesterday he turned up at the flat where I live with our daughter and was loitering outside for an hour - looking through windows, knocking on the door and finally calling our daughters name - I was shaking and felt scared to open the door to him - it seemed like he was preying on us.
- When having arguments I do not remember shortly after what he actually said that upset me so - it's like my brain is shutting down.

There is more but I want to leave it at that - I just don't know anymore is it me being crazy and just imagining something is very wrong with this person or is he really acting odd?

I would be very grateful for people's opinions and advise - how can I protect myself and our daughter? Where can I ttrn too? He has never harmed me physically but I am shaking when I think about him or the fact that he is spending time with our daughter unsupervised.

What can I do????

Greetings, Smerelda. Welcome to the forum.

From what you describe this man appears to have issues. I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone but I think it's safe to say you probably should retain the services of an attorney who has experience in family matters. Family counseling for you and the daughter won't hurt either.

Your ex is still your daughter's father so be prepared for repercussions on his end. Things may not work out completely in your favor. Whatever happens, please avoid speaking poorly of him in your daughter's presence. She's got enough on her plate as it is.

Crazymaking is a common trait in the disordered. It's one of many tactics abusers employ to maintain control over their victims. Getting away and staying away from him is important... it will allow you time to get your thoughts in order. You recognise his abusive behaviour for what it is. That is also a fine start.

You may have legal grounds for a temporary restraining order or its equivalent to make him leave you alone. Talk with an attorney. He or she will be able to steer you in the right direction.

Hope it helps.

Smeralda, welcome to the forum.
I just wanted to say that everything you mentioned took place in my relationship with a Psychopath.
What you described here is typical of them.
Which gives you two very important information - yes, there are SUCH people, they behave in a certain way and yes, it's called psychopathy. And secondly - there are many people who have been through what you're experiencing, and they are here for you.
You are not alone.