Recovery,

I agree, the last of these comments shows that Ps will change their story as frequently as their socks to manipulate you. This is what I mean by "watch out for the sugarcoating".

Basically look out for the:

"I have no empathy, think guilt is society's tool for oppressing you and that a sense of conscience is optional" messages.

kind regards

K.T.

Hello again Waysplusmeans1,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you can find the answers you are looking for here.

I have to say from what you describe and my own past experience, that you are probably being "duped" as we speak. Professionals actually call this "duping delight" on the part of the Psychopath. They love this "game".

This is just my opinion, but I truely feel for those who are or may be suffering at the hands of a Psychopath and am concerned for your safety, but especially the safety of your children. I speak from experience, as I had a daughter end up in counseling due to him and as soon as I left him she returned to normal over time (as my counselor for her predicted)!

My guess is, depending on how long you have been with him, that your kids are already leary of him, as children have an amazing 6th sense. If they are not yet (he may still be in his charm phase of your relationship) they will be very soon. Psychopath's simply cannot keep the "mask of sanity" on forever. He WILL show his true colors. I was married to a Psychopath. Never could make it official. I once threatened to leave him if he didn't seek help, so he was tested for bi-polar disorder to no avail, and found it a piece of cake to fool his therapist, and even used it against me in arguments. Tried to convince me that I was the one with issues, not him, and that any issues he had were a result of the horrible things that had happened to him in his past, cause his therapist said so. He simply used her as validation against me. If the professional is not Hare trained, in my opinion, they are not equipped to handle a Psychopath. Even Dr. Hare himself, has admitted to being duped by a Psychopath. They are very clever when it comes to lying and using those lies to play on peoples emotions. Check into his allegations, you may find the truths you are seeking. I know this may feel like betrayal, but you have to put yourself and your children first, and I believe you didn't find this site on accident. Listen to your instincts and the red flags that have been waved (I didn't and wish I had)....he is counting on your confusion, and perceived weakness (your empathy). If he starts to sense your doubt and strength to protect yourself and your children, I'm guessing his mask will come off at that point and you will have your answers. It will seemingly happen over-night, so be aware, and very very careful. I don't recommend confronting him at any point, just do your homework and continue to educate yourself. I felt the very same way about my ex (the connection like no other, and the love and sympathy)and he used it to get me where he wanted me and then pulled the rug out from underneath me. It sends you into a tailspin that is beyond description because there is no way to understand until you have been through it and survived it!, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!!!

I now compare it to the movie "Enough" LOL. When I see that movie it always makes me think of my experience with him. The husbands behaviors and such. Of course the movie is just that, a movie, but the character defects and behaviors between the husband in the movie and my own ex are eerily parallel.

I don't mean to scare you, just inform, share, and help. Good luck to you on your quest for answers.

Sincerely,

Karissa

Psychopath.S. The book "Without Conscience" by Dr. Hare may help to shed some light and answer some questions for you. Also, "The Mask of Sanity" by Dr. Cleckley.

Looking back, they always throw in the pity party pretty early. This way you can join in (they will get you at the point of your worst vulnerability), they can say "me too" over and over again - and gain your trust. They move way too fast, giving you their undivided attention. Like you are the only person in the world. And you feel like you have found your instant soul mate. EVERYTHING is "me too!" If it feels like it is too good to be true, it IS.

Hi tkme,
Hmmm... interesting thought you bring up there tkme. Are cults like a psychopath? Both want to control you, both are self-serving, manipulative, both steal, fabricate and lie. I guess there are some similarities.

Regards,
denfox