My story rings very similar to this story. My brother met a woman who is almost certainly a Psychopath. When they met, he was a healthy man, still holding some wounds from his divorce. He was financially comfortable and retired young.
In 2 days from today, he is set to go back to her care after nearly dying again. My brother developed a rare autoimmune disease. Last I saw him in March of this year he was nearly dead. He would probably have died within weeks without intervention. I sat for 9 hours to get him admitted to a University hospital. He has been in the hospital followed by nursing facility for 6-7 weeks.
My sisters are completely taken in by Hurricane (our nick name for her). On the other side is his sons, grandchildren, brother, his wife of 50 years and me, his youngest sister. He had set up a trust, will, powers of attorney before he met Hurricane and fell ill. She tried unsuccessfully to get those removed. His family still holds the financial reins. 3 years ago, She took him out of a nursing home when he was delusional and married him. He doesn't remember getting married. She was appointed medical power of attorney. She does not get him the care he needs. She is obsessed with control. The elite doctors at teaching hospitals who can treat him do not yield to her. She resists dealing with specialists. They live in a rural area. It is inconvenient for her to take him to see the doctors who are qualified to treat his disease. He sees quack doctors who prescribe Malox when he has serious digestive issues in addition to the autoimmune disease. After his first bout, a teaching hospital in NC with specialists in his disease had a series of follow ups and routine tests. None of these were done.
Of my siblings, I am the most educated. As financial planner, I see the financial red flags of elder financial abuse. I did a background check. She has been charged with forgery, elder abuse, threatening a motorist and various driving with out a license, insurance, tags... Most everyone related to her (ex-husband, brother, former boyfriend) have a rap sheet. I checked my own family and found nothing. The data seems reliable.
I hired lawyers. In North Carolina marriage holds lots of power. Crazy or not.
We got him away. He was getting healthier and had appointments with specialists. A divorce was pending, he just had to stay in his home state long enough. My sisters kidnapped him and sent him back to NC with Hurricane where he stayed for 18 months. A family friend was concerned for him and brought him to Florida, where we undertook getting him proper healthcare. Sending him back to her is a likely death sentence.
I am not one of the fiduciaries. I would take this on and get her out of his life. She threatens and intimidates his son, who has authority. It makes me sick to send him to what is probably his death. She threatened to burn down his house in NC, if he leaves her. He has diminished capacity. She gaslights him constantly.
No one else can stomach taking her on... He was declared incompetent. He cannot make his own decisions.
My sisters who drink her cool aide say she will take good care of him this time. Isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?
I have lost my sisters who have their own problems. I believe my sister's ex husband was a Psychopath. He molested her daughter when she was a teen. In spite of their flaws, they are my older sisters. Now they are toxic. At least one of the sisters has stress related health issues from this experience. Spending time with a Psychopath will make you sick.
I have blocked Hurricane from calling me, her email address is coded as junk, and I haven't spoken to her or my sisters in about 2 years. Yet, they are still out there, harming my brother. I have little power to fix it. I have even distanced myself from my brother. He calls when he's well enough asking for me to pay for things for them. Though I love my brother, I don't get involved for my own sanity. I have teenage children. I need my time and attention for them.
He says he loves her. I think he is afraid to be alone. His family would support him with care and companionship. They too have teenage children and a business to run. He takes a lot of care. In NC, he sits in a chair covered in urine and feces. He develops severe bed sores.
Edited by Cinnamon (06/13/17 11:46 AM)
Edit Reason: More details