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#13086 - 04/19/12 03:37 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
Agreed.
I told the next victim, she didn't read to a single word. Normal people will have problems believing you, so the next victim definitely won't. After all, he's probably already told her how crazy you were and how great she is.

It is sad to watch people fall for this person. But if they do, there's nothing you can do.
Inform people around you, spread the word about Psychopaths and what they are. Maybe it will reach her too, and that would be a much better way of helping. People just have to see for themselves.
I know I was hurting a lot that nobody would believe me at that time. They still don't. But I don't care. They are the ones who are gonna get screwed over.
Hell, I was warned also... But I wouldn't listen, he was such a charming guy...

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#13087 - 04/19/12 06:03 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Hi Dianne! lol....Thanks........your right..I can drive a different way...it will have to be by the first place that I found him cheating on me but, it's old wounds now...I can do this! Thank you sooooooooooo much!

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#13088 - 04/19/12 06:53 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: FreeBird]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
I know your right....I am so thankful for this forum!.....I just wish I could stop obsessing about it!...Can't wait for that day! Maybe tomorrow!

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#13089 - 04/19/12 08:09 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: becky]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Becky, NewBird is so right, people just don't believe you. If that were the case we would have no reason to have our community, people would have people to talk to that really believed and supported them in their own world.

Try to practice and I'm not suggesting it will be easy but when you see your thoughts go there, just take a breathe and bring yourself to the present moment.

They tell the new victims terrible things about their past ones to divide and keep everyone from talking and then put themselves in their favorite role of the victims in their own sick minds.

Di

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#13092 - 04/20/12 08:26 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Thank you Dianne...

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#13094 - 04/20/12 11:39 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: becky]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Anytime, Becky, we are here for you and understand how frustrating it must be. Frustrating is to call it mildly, you are a strong person and have faith you will keep finding your center.

Di

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#13095 - 04/20/12 12:13 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Thank you again Dianne...I wish there was a physical place to go talk about all this......Any suggestions to a support group that might touch upon this type of abuse?........

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#13098 - 04/21/12 09:11 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: becky]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Becky,

Sometimes therapists will take on a few clients without charge. Like anything else it would be important to ask the right questions to make sure you are in the right hands. Some of our members have talked about finding excellent therapists, maybe they might read this and offer some advise how they found them. I know I could have used some of their excellent advise because I got sucked down a rat hole.

I was involved with a group for depression so don't know about abuse groups, frankly I found it more depressing. I liked the other members a lot but found it drained my energy and zapped away my energy of hope to get out of the hole.

You might see if there is an abused woman's shelter in your area who could offer some support, members over the years have found support there.

I hope we can help you also, there is plenty of room here to talk here and we can validate what you are going through.

The best help I found was an excellent Zen teacher who taught me how to get back to my center when my mind felt like it was spinning my head off with the thoughts of what a horrible situation I found myself in. It is a work in progress. In the Resource Section I have a list of some of the books this teacher has published that I found very helpful.

Books to Heal

Di


Edited by Dianne E. (04/21/12 09:14 AM)
Edit Reason: added link

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#13111 - 04/26/12 08:09 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
Thanks Dianne...... Question....Can't help but feeling (overwhelmingly) that I should warn this woman of his promiscuity...nicely...I told myself long ago that if we ever broke up I was going to warn the woman ....I just can't help but think it's the right thing to do!.....I know she might not believe me and she probably has been told bad things about me...but maybe if she sees i'm normal and nice.....If she wants to continue with the relationship with someone who sleeps around then that's her choice....whether she believes me or not I can't help but feel I should at least warn her .....what do you think...I'm sure you think I shouldn't but please try to convince why...Is this my ego? thanks.

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#13112 - 04/26/12 08:15 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: FreeBird]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
So you don't think it's a good idea to warn the next victim just about the promiscuity he had in your relationship?...I'm really struggling and I want to at least tell her whether she believes me or not...she works at a local store and a lot of people go in there and know him.......I don't want my name slandered all over town.....I'm a business owner here..Help!! How do I keep my mouth shut? Or should I at least tell her of my experience with his promiscuity and lies about his past victims?

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