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#15998 - 08/25/13 04:30 PM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: Bunnyshy]
crocodile Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
Originally Posted By: Bunnyshy
I'm still new at this, only here a few days now. This is foolish to ask, but why isn't he calling me? NC for 1 month now. He was seeing me 4 days a week before i left him (he lives an hour away and came over acting ADDICTED to me). "We are soulmates. Telepathically connected my love". I am crying and I don't know why. He lied, cheated, faked everything, I was even afraid for my life a few times in the four months together, yet "I want him to call me"?! Im not naive like I seem...I am CRUSHED. I can't take this pain anymore. Have not seen him in 9 weeks. I miss him badly.

Keep strong Bunny. And don't try to understand the Psychopath. He can stop contact with you for weeks and months and then show up like nothing happened. Or he can be around 24/7 even when you want him to go away. There is no rhyme or reason and don't try to understand why - it'll drive you mad. It's really better he left you alone, you don't have to cope with love bombing and lies which you'd want to believe.

I totally know how you feel, I tried to kill myself because of this son of a [censored]. He first told me he hated me and couldn't stand me and then he came back to pat me on the shoulder because I was so sad. And of course I was again confused - so which one is it: do you hate me and can't stand or are you sympathetic for my pain? I finally realised that him leaving was the best he has ever done to me and I was angry at myself that I was not strong enough to make this decision myself. You've made it and that's really admirable. All you need is to distract yourself. He has probably not hurt you badly enough (I know it sounds weird) to be able to really appreciate the lack of him in your life but as soon as you're over the pain it's going to be a new start.

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#16002 - 08/26/13 09:39 AM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: crocodile]
Bunnyshy Offline
member

Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 11
I am deeply sorry for what you went through. I could see a victim feeling that way. These people are an abomination. We are worthy of so much more. I told him "I know what you are". He asked what my analysis was and I told him I don't want to say it out loud. I added "just meet people to sleep with them since you don't want to get close to anyone". He said "I'm gonna go now". Ha! Exactly. The truth hurts? Idk why. He's a Psychopath :-/

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#16336 - 04/25/14 05:39 PM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: Dianne E.]
Nolongerblind Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/14
Posts: 5
I went no contact after reading about it and realizing it was more for my own sanity and to maintain it than it was anything else. I think part of it is the constant anxiety early on that they are going to come knocking, calling or writing and it keeps you in state of looking over your shoulder. SO, I went no contact , but I knew I was being stalked, at home with driving by the house, and on Facebook.. What stopped it was posting meme's about Psychopathy , Quotes from Thomas Sheridan and the Like, Martha Stout as well.. I originally did it to kind of spread the word about the topic, but soon realized after a while that feeling of being stalked had gone away. That connection was broken and quiet returned. I then heard Thomas Sheridan mention the only thing they fear is being outed, is someone actually knowing the brutal truth about them, and once they know you know what they are? they vanish.. If any of you are on FB, obviously block them if they are there too, but we all know that doesnt stop them totally.. Try , if you want , posting up memes , quotes and informational videos on the subject.. it might just work for you too... Its been 2 months of peace now, im still getting my soul and sanity back together little by little. No contact at all costs is definitely the way...

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#16338 - 04/25/14 09:19 PM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: Nolongerblind]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2787
Loc: United States
Hi Nolongerblind,

Welcome to our community. If you are willing, it would be very interesting to hear more of your story.

You brought up a new angle to no contact. I think lots of them know who they are, and yes they don't want to be found out. I think the main reason is quite simple; they don't want the chaos in their lives that the knowledge would bring, see how it circles back to them.

Mirroring others is their only way to learn and get more skilled. So many things we just know by instincts that they have to study and figure out which buttons do what.

I would still continue to be on guard. They do seem to cycle back and around.

Di

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#16339 - 04/26/14 06:13 AM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: Dianne E.]
Nolongerblind Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/14
Posts: 5
Thank you very much DI ... I am still on guard, very much so. Just the thought of having to deal with it ever again is exhausting to say the least. As far as the meme's ... it seemed to work very well, and hopefully that can help someone else in the same shitty situation. My story? Well, the gaslighting and outright lies were unbelievable and it never seemed to stop. It was a constant thing. Thankfully I have always been a thinker, and apply logic deductive reasoning to everything in life so when things were blurred or twisted, or little lies were told my intuition hit me like a truck...If I had only listened right? lol Im sure we all say that at one time.. Ill post more of the story when I have a bit of time. Mirroring.... oh man.. yes... very chilling.

Have a great day...and thank you again..

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#16670 - 11/11/15 03:21 PM Re: How to have no contact? [Re: crocodile]
Notmyfault Offline
member

Registered: 11/05/15
Posts: 17
How are you doing? Breaking away is painful as hell . A psychopath becomes like a drug, even when it stops feeling good you crave it...it fulfilled you in some way and once you were hooked, good times are over. It's good you reach out to forums on this subject. The main stream doesn't quite get it yet, though there are people like Dianne trying to change that. I remember after my relationship ended and he just moved on, it was killing me. The one example. I remember because I REALLY meant it. I was so low and there was a 135 million dollar. Lottery going on. I remember frowning thinking I could care less about money, I wanted him. Now as I look back, I laugh. Surround yourself with supportive people, if those who care about you are ahowing concern...let them in. My niece couldn't let go of her guy either. While she was away he sodomized and dismembered her son. Just like you and so many of us..she couldn't break away.

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