Thank you for this tread. It is really important.
I haven't thought about it much but now I see how this is controlling and defining my life...
The first and most scary thing is I still don't know how to treat people who don't treat me good, yet for some reason stay in my life (family work etc). I became more assertive, but it's still hard. Not because I don't know how to talk to people but because I really really don't want to hurt anybody. In that matter nothing has changed. And maybe it just cant, cause my conscience is just like that and I will always feel the greatest discomfort knowing that I may have hurt somebody.

But still, I am scared of people, and men, and am on the alert daily, and it is devastating. There are days when I feel relaxed and its OK, but its only days.

Yes, FreeBird, the feeling is devastating,

How awful that trust in other people's kindness is questioned by us.
My youngest daughter (17 years) is wary of older women. Sadly she feels uneasy around them.
Once in the supermarket, an elderly lady was near us, I could see she needed help with reaching
an item up on the shelf, my daughter stood behind me, I helped the lady & she was extremely grateful.
I asked my daughter later why she didn't offer to reach the item as she is much taller then me, she
replied I didn't know if she would be angry with me if I asked if she needed help. Just small everyday
things that others take for granted.
It shouldn't be this way,but for us it is.

I think anyone who has been effected by a psychopath experiences a certain level of hyper-vigilance. Mine had somewhat calmed when my ex found a new victim, even though he is continuing to drag me through court (after 2 1/2 years.) I guess I felt some sort of relief that his daily focus was diverted to his new victim. Yesterday I was told that he is telling everyone he is not happy with his new victim and would take me back in a heartbeat. While I know this is not a true statement (not that it would matter) but rather a ploy to continue to play the victim and gain sympathy from those around him, the hyper-vigilance kicked in to overdrive and I spent the entire night wide awake in my bed afraid of what he might do. The logical reaction was to accept it for what it was (his tool for sympathy) but logic lost out to emotion. This is miserable.