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#13580 - 07/08/12 02:36 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: RedWolfe]
marinde Offline
member

Registered: 09/19/11
Posts: 58
Thanks for your warnings, I won't try it unless I'm capable of carrying on with my threats. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through with your parents, Red Wolfe, but I'm happy to hear you have still got a good contact with your two brothers.

I once (before knowing he was a psychopath, of course) was as stupid as to remark that I would never let him hurt my child and I would fight myself to death protecting my child if necessary. He still seems to find that one a nice challenge to take revenge over.

I have taken all the precaution measures I possibly can.

He says to have a good job and I have seen a testimony of his boss that he's a good employee. He says he has savings of possibly 150.000-200.000 euros or so and with the job he has that might well be true. He pays monthly and said he would use that to get power. Last time (after the court date) he paid much less though. He doesn't speak to me on the phone and is careful to not say anything threatening anymore. There are two of his friends that I suspect are psychopaths or so as well. I have met them and believe they are. He tells scary stories about them that I can't verify.

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#13785 - 09/02/12 06:56 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: marinde]
satan's child Offline
member

Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 13
It was Environmental by having the Mother of all Mother's and I always knew deep down in my heart that right is right and wrong is wrong. Do whatever is in your power to not raise your children TOGETHER. That is just a recipe for disaster. You may not notice until years down the road, but trust me, it will only blow up in your face. PLEASE prevent your precious little ones from experiencing this Pain and everything else that comes with the territory, that I promise you, will come. Also, you can never tell your kids enough how much you love them, how proud you are of them, you will always protect them & that you will ALWAYS be there for them UNCONDITIONALLY! Finally, get away from the toxic parasite as soon and as far away as possible.

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#13786 - 09/02/12 07:32 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: satan's child]
satan's child Offline
member

Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 13
I also wanted to point out that being the child of a psychopath makes you Fearless. I have crossed paths with many cruel people, yet all of them looked like saints compared to the monster I once knew. Once you've looked into the eyes of Satan himself, nothing else can ever scare you, which can sometimes be dangerous in itself.

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#13916 - 10/04/12 08:42 AM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: satan's child]
Orchid Offline
member

Registered: 10/02/12
Posts: 1
Hi, everyone!

I am new to this forum, I will tell you my story soon! It is creapy, it is about a parent psychopath! At this moment, I am going through one of most difficult moments in my life, again due to psychopathy- crying each day although I had a stroke and I know it prevents me from getting well! But, I just cannot help it! Marinde, keep your child away from him however you know, the damamge they cost to a child is so long-lasting (on psychological and pfisical health) and sometimes I even thing unfixable! The scars will probably last forever!

I think you should try to full your ex. This may sound strange to you, but I think you should play the game with him. Make him belive you do not want his child, that he must take care of him, ask him for the money for the child, ask him to take a child to a doctor, be with it when it has a fewer and things like that. He will run away! Psychopaths like to see people suffer (you suffer because he might take your child away from you and heart his emotions, that is the only reason he is interested in child, belive me.

They have no emotions) They also do not like to take care of anyone and to give someone their money (not even to a child, trust me, even if he has saved so much money-he probably gives you the money the court ordered just to look good in the court and make his plans come true easier) And most of all, in the end, it must be their way! Convise him that he wants the child is with you and that he does not want to see him. He will pull off! I know it takes a lot of energy, but try it, it might be the best way to get rid of him!

He might even do not want to kill you, but he knows you are afraid of what will happen to your child if you die and he enjoy every moment of your suffer!

Sorry for the spelling, English is not my native lenguage!

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#13932 - 10/14/12 12:43 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: Orchid]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Orchid, welcome to our community, I am so very sorry for the health issues.

Will look forward to hearing more of your story when you are willing, every word reaches many in this horrific position when there are children involved.

Di

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#14685 - 04/04/13 04:25 AM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: marinde]
Aquarius123 Offline
member

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 1
My children's father was a psychopath. We divorced, and the children refused their "weekends" with him. I did not refuse him, the children did this on their own. Fortunately, there were no legal repercussions. They have not seen him for 15 years, but still vent about the awful stuff he did to all of us. They are successful adults: My son is a teacher (like me) and my daughter is a social worker.

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#14704 - 04/04/13 09:56 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: Aquarius123]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Aquarius123, welcome to our community. Very glad to read that you and your children were able to escape without bounds of legal challenges.

I think the more they get challenged the longer the battle and it sounds like you had the right direction going and thankfully he moved on.

Di

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#16181 - 12/30/13 11:16 AM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: RedWolfe]
toomuchstuff Offline
member

Registered: 09/30/13
Posts: 38
Originally Posted By: RedWolfe
Originally Posted By: marinde
For those of you who grew up with a psychopath parent: what kept you "alive"?

Honestly? HATE. I was determined to not only survive, but find a way to prove him wrong and succeed at Something in my life. Eventually I did; I became a moderately well known author. smile

When they say "living well is the best revenge," when it comes to dealing with psychopaths, it's the absolute TRUTH.

When my brother showed my first published novel to my father (the psychopath), the man kicked his own TV so hard it exploded. My brother called me to tell me the very next day and we both had a long, hard laugh. My brother has made a point of telling that man every time I publish a new one. smile

Quote:
What helped you ... not become like a psychopath or narcissist or otherwise cruel and abusing person yourself?

For the life of me, I have no clue. I do know that if it wasn't for my best friend, Margaret, (who I didn't meet until the very last year he lived with us,) my recovery toward being human again would have taken much, much longer.

Quote:
What did you hang on to? Were there things in your youth that gave you happiness?

I had One thing that couldn't be taken from me, only one: My Imagination.
-- That imagination allowed me to win a short story contest and become a Published Author in my junior year of high school and gave me my life's goal: Author. That was my very first victory he couldn't touch in any way.

Quote:
And what made you realise your mum or dad wasn't good for you and step out of the indoctrinations?

BOOKS. I read voraciously, and those stories told me point-blank that not only what I was told was Wrong, but that I was dealing with a Monster, someone that only looked human.

Quote:
What was it that made it impossible for your parent to really break your mind?

I shut off my emotions and became a psychopath myself at the age of 13. I didn't become human again until many, many years after he left the house.


I don't know what my mother is, but as a child I lived in books. I would push my dresser up against the the door. I would pull the blankets over my head so I wouldn't see the crack of light shinning under my door.... I read books by flash light and crawled into the lives of the characters so I knew what happy was, and what love felt like. When she would push her self in call me a whore and scream at me late at night I would keep my mind on the story in the book and try to translate....My mother was ice cold and very cruel she liked to play practical jokes and set me up for failure. By the time I was 9 I was reading college text books trying to understand her. She was my wire monkey -- completely incapable of love and affection. My family always blamed me...I married a man a great deal like her. I am not allowed any successes, not in work, education,. or relationships....

I have to spend every Christmas with her my family and my adult children. I allows end up very upset. They think I am overly sensitive...This year I shared that I was buying a house. It got so ugly that I left. I had made the mistake of inviting them all over next year....I cried the whole way home I called her and begged her to say she was happy for me.... That never happened...en and once again I ruined Christmas.... Never again.

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#16333 - 04/25/14 12:54 AM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: RedWolfe]
sumptuousorangeant Offline
member

Registered: 04/22/14
Posts: 3
RedWolfe, I can relate to "shutting off". I don't believe you became a psychopath; I think you were protecting yourself. The psyche goes into a self protective mode at some point under these circumstances, which no human should have to endure. Some of my behavior at that age definitely could have been misconstrued as psychopathic, and some of it probably was.

To introduce myself, I am a 31 year old man who has an older brother who is a psychopath. He probably also has some form of mood disorder--I spent a lot of my life with him against my will (I was a teenager) but he was definitely pathological and controlling.

I had to block out a lot of what occurred around me at that age, much of which involved criminal activity he brought into the home. I knew that the wrong move could lead to something near lethal, or lethal, if he was abusing crack, which he ended up doing all the time. Once I told him to his face exactly what I thought of him, and that was a mistake.

My poor parents did everything they could, but it is hard to believe your own son is a psychopath, come hook or crook.

I myself ended up abusing drugs (this is how evil promulgates itself) and tried to model myself after him, though I never had that vicious, animal streak in me. I fell into drug culture, but have been sober for nine years now. I have had to defend my home against him, never knowing if he would finally kill me, his psyche having become so degenerate. A criminal by nature, he often succeeded in business till that trait was revealed. Explains a great deal about Wall Street.

My story is still in progress. Though I've accepted a no contact reality joyously (I hate him with a hatred that I'd rather not possess at all for anyone), I notice things about myself as I get older. I am an extremely defensive person, which makes a lot of sense considering that he ate my self esteem up and spit it out in my most impressionable years. I had a falling out with a friend due to my sharp tongue recently which I am very ashamed of. I have had relationships with women that went for awhile but ended because I have trouble trusting anyone to that degree. I am a published author and have managed to do some stress filled things and accomplish them, despite the fact that I have his demonic, sick voice in my head berating me at every turn.

I have a wonderful therapist but I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be normal and be able to maintain healthy relationships without that fear of being taken advantage of. Does anyone have this problem?


God Bless everyone here and thank you for having me.

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#16337 - 04/25/14 09:13 PM Re: Question for children of pp: what helped you? [Re: sumptuousorangeant]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi sumptuousorangeant, welcome to our community.

I am sorry that you had your brother at such a time of your life that you had no control over things.

It sounds like you are in the processing phase. I hope we can be here to listen and share what we can.

Are your parents still alive and in contact with him?

It does happen that there can be co mingled issues, what do you suppose his other diagnosis might be?

I hear what you are saying regarding parents, they have been the most elusive over the years. I can't imagine what being a parent and finding out your child is a Psychopath must be like. We have some parents who have adopted children, and maybe they might show up and comment.

Do you think your parents blame themselves? This is what I guess can be the strongest issue.

Di

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