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#13736 - 08/24/12 06:20 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Whitefeather]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
Keep reading and keep looking, the knowledge never ends:)

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#13742 - 08/24/12 09:24 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: FreeBird]
Whitefeather Offline
member

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 39
I will thank you, I have to for safety. I have realised that for not just myself but my son as well.

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#13745 - 08/25/12 02:05 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: GF of ppaths Father]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi GF of ppaths Father, sorry for the delay in responding.

I was put on medication after a horrific dealing with a Corporate Psychopath which dropped me to the bottom of the well. I didn't escape them (the medications and so called depression experts/shrinks for close to 14 years, the pills kept rolling, first it was anti-depressants then mood stabilizers etc. My wake up call when the medications caused a serious and permanent blood disorder. I have researched this subject extensively. What happens is the medications for depressions for starters work as well as sugar pills but they adjust and play with your brains neurons. That is why when a person stops they think they need to go back on them. It takes the brain time to re-adjust. In my case after so many years it has taken over a year for that to happen. It was traced to the "mood stabilizer" and it was a run for my life to escape the scare tactics that were used to convince me that I would have to keep taking them, they suggested another medication with "less side effects". When I refused I was treated like a crazy person and shut out by the shrink and neuro surgeon who pin pointed the medication. Their standard line is that "they all have side effects". Mine was so bad that at the same time as my blood went whacky I was actually having visual effects, things moving around etc. That was because the neurons in my brain were so out of whack, it was truly the most scary experience of my life.

I feel fortunate that I escaped without permanent brain damage. I have seen a couple of UTubes put up by people who didn't stop and now are suffering with brain damage.

I would suggest you do a UTube search for a Dr. Peter Breggin, he is a Harvard educated shrink who specializes in the effects of the pill to "help" us but has some very researched facts on why they won't.

It all boils down to money, pills, imo are not the answer. I don't say this to suggest that people just go off their medication without slowly getting off them because I tried that and things got really crazy.

I think forgiveness is way blown out of the real way of thinking. I think in order to forgive a person has to be in a healed position and think about forgiving themselves for what has happened.

Trying to forgive someone when a person is in the middle of terror and dealing with pure evil is a step that may sound good but it takes healing first to make that personal decision to forgive.

Di

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#13756 - 08/27/12 09:33 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: GF of ppaths Father]
FriedaB Offline
member

Registered: 10/24/11
Posts: 63
Originally Posted By: GF of ppaths Father
How do you forgive someone who in no way feels any remorse?


This is where I am stuck also...

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#13757 - 08/27/12 09:45 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
FriedaB Offline
member

Registered: 10/24/11
Posts: 63
Originally Posted By: Dianne E.
I moved to a location where I could have a fresh start. Being a native Californian it was quite a move to go to the center of the country to a new town where no one knew me. It has been the best move of my life, it is a nice quiet town and I don't have to run into anyone who betrayed me or knows my past. I prefer to hassle with the snow and the weather and have a house that costs way less than where I had lived before. Taking the extra financial burden off my back has given me the breathing room to figure out my next move.

It is nice, I don't plan on living here forever but it has worked, the cost of living is sooo much lower and I based my decision based on where I could live and not have the higher cost of living and the stress of seeing people that reminded me of the wicked past.

I remember what someone told me a long time ago, when the spider move so does the web. Now I have been able to work on the web part.

Di



Oh, how funny, Di...I made the opposite move. Psychopath is 1900 miles away now...

Do you ever miss Cali? I dont care for cold weather myself...will take palm trees anyday =)

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#13856 - 09/18/12 01:32 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: FriedaB]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
I recently heard a line that I wanted to share with you:
"Its not that time heals everything, its just that time makes you get used to the pain."

What do you think? Its kinda sad, and seems kinda true...

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#13857 - 09/18/12 04:07 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
Whitefeather Offline
member

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 39
Sorry if I upset anyone on this site I am not good at finding threads etc so I don't mean anything personal to anyone just looking for help and I've been through a lot yes I understand my weakness of no contact my stupid heart gave way to a woman I knew for twenty years. Laws in this country may be a bit different to the states. I found this site amongst help sites I'm not sure how but I did. I may not be a strong enough person yet or maybe I took avpost the wrong way however it doesn't matter. My life has been destroyed and I'm learning the best way I can with what I've got so thank you anyway

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#13862 - 09/20/12 08:51 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
Whitefeather Offline
member

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 39
Back to counselling

the past few months have been what I term walking on glass, from isolation learning what hatred is trying self control no contact to superwoman to compassionate towards other victims to understanding accomplices phychopaths world of abuse really hit me or I say stabbed me today.

I'm not a coward when it comes to saying what's happened to me I'm unfortunately a raped person however I don't sit lightly on being a victim I term myself a survivor. My confused and state of coming out of I believe brainwashing on many different levels apparently has raised questions. In a tiny town living in small community when you are unseen it raises questions I guess?

Today I learnt how possibly I really escaped terror from this psychopath whom once upon a short time ago I loved with my heart thank god not my soul. The gf whom was placed in care rehab slashed her face to pieces I'm unsure how she is going now, today I had the opportunity to spill the beans on this dog (sorry if offends anyone) I told a leader in the system of pastoral care this now will more than likely be taken forward to other church boards and I'm guessing a panel of people I don't know how their system works. Thankfully this person has some power in a small community one doesn't want these problems exposed!!!! But the mention of a barrister well I'm sorry there are laws to uphold on violence against women and children.

My case who knows all I can say is because I was blinded by a fake relationship I may not recieve much justice but I'm sort of seeing they want some evidence well it's time they start looking further into their church and either getting rid of or placing appropriate charges. I really don't know why this happened today my encounter seems like waking up fromva dream or brainwashed type if spell I've never ever been so confused or enraged in my life. I have been a victim of a sex offender self gratifying mongrel dog that I foolishily believed lies all lies, his girl from the past brutally smashed face once so beautiful now never seen rarely seen anywhere the next me just lies of being the one in his life used for his pleasure so stressed from rehabilitating him over and over miscarried then discarded emotionally abused , the gf whom he was marrying whilst seeing me drugged back on drugs slit wrists now her face what next will it take!!!!!!!

There are three more yet still in his lure ! I read here keep reading and learning , well I had to do a soul search in my rage of no contact and hypervigilant and I don't care mode another breaking point of getting this psychopath dog off the street I now know why the mother wants to make sure I'm ok so the dog doesn't go to jail again how do they get away with it well I've reported every avenue now and stated my barrister has my statement I may not be liked soon and might have to get a loan to go theve already kicked my car scratched it made my sons life impossible and mine through community lies.

I don't want revenge I just want the dog to know what it feels like to be pinned down spat upon and humiliated I just don't care is my way of saying to hell with it sometimes I give up sometimes I will fight. So it's now nearly four months this is my first ever understanding of what i've been dealing with I just can't believe I've been around this for four years and didn't know how really dangerous and harmfulcthey are.

Every thing I've read about the cycle of psychopath the types of psychopath has been full on right. I stopped blaming myself today after hearing this about this girl whom is a lot younger than me it sickens me and I felt like dyeing what would of happened to me if I didn't listen to that young man and his warning story what of the next one?? Well I decided to go back to counsellor I know it's going to take a long time I thought I would be tougher but I'm not. There is no way I will ever let this dog again into my life I just can't comprehend how sick and twisted this all is !

I just don't know how he has got away with it this is like a very bad dream from which I'm waking up from

take care out there

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#13865 - 09/22/12 08:18 AM Re: Depression and healing [Re: Dianne E.]
newme34 Offline
member

Registered: 09/05/12
Posts: 5
I thought i was doing really well! I had the whole No contact thing going on, life felt like it was getting better.

But unfortuneately the Psychopath is the father of my child. I know to the bottom of my heart that he does not give a damn about her, he uses her to get to me. I have told him to put a routine into place, to collect her at certain times, but instead he turns up when he feels like it in his loud Porshce that the whole neighbourhood can hear. This of course alerts my three year old who then runs around the house screaming daddy! daddy! I once tried to take her to another room, to distract her so i didnt have to open the door but the fall out was unreal. Being three she is to young to understand her fathers manipulation.

After initially telling me that my whole family were scum and that i was a using [censored] and telling me (via text all of this) that he he was leaving me and didnt want to see his daughter ever again (because it hurt him to much) twice in the last two weeks, he has begun to tell me how much we are meant to be together and how much he loves me. Aagh, how sweet. Not. He now thinks the reason we have split up is because he didnt share enough details of his business with me. He then decided that from now on he would talk to me more about work and therefore we should get back together. After refusing his request he told me that no matter what happened we would be together and that was that. That was the last conversation i had with him. He has continued to randomly show up because he wanted to see me, which i declined and sent him on his way. No shouting, no screaming, just a strong refusal and goodbye.

This was working well i thought, until last night. A couple of nights ago i was having a late night chat on the phone with one of my oldest friends. We were gossiping and getting into the good old girly chat. My children were in bed and for the first time i really began to feel like myself again. My friend was looking for a producer she used to sing with and we were surfing the net to see if we could find him ( at one point i even thought i had found him and actually said out loud that i was clever!! A big step for me considering my self worth has been shot to pieces since meeting the Psychopath 4 years ago). Anyway, after the chat i made sure all of the doors were locked and took myself to get ready for bed.

The next day, and only because i am sick and crying because of the flu, i reluctantly agreed to let my daughters father along with her older sisters spend some time together. As i was getting my daughter dressed upstairs my older daughter answered the door and called me downstairs. As i approached him i could see that he had that passive aggressive, self pitying look on his face and i knew there was a problem. Rather then asking him what the matter was, which believe me is what he wanted, i gave him his daughter and sent them on their merry way.

Now here is the part that gets strange about this episode. He calls me ten minutes later. I only answer because he has my daughter. He says to me that he knows what me and my friend were up to last night, that my friend was trying to hook me up with some guy she used to know and that if i want to start going out with her and old boyfriends..... I cut him off there, told him that his is just one of the reasons i will never be with him again and put the phone down.

What disturbs me, is that he was no where near that phone call. Yes he got the jist of the conversation, but i had never told him i dated this guy when i was 17 nearly 20 years ago( brief and uneventful). That was something i had discussed on the phone alone the night before. My computer is permanently on private browsing as im a bit of a conspiracy nut, so how did he get the details of my conversation from when i was alone at home the night before.

As strong as i was feeling in the weeks before, this small thing has shoock me to the core. I had built up the strenghth to leave him, even being homeless for a year whilst the monster dangled a 7 bedroom home in front of us. I had the strength to find us new home and to begin healing myself through counselling. But now, i am sat here seriously considering the fact that this man bugged my home somehow.

My life is quiet now you see. I dont date, go to clubs or pubs. I dont even have friends round anymore as he always found a way to tell me that they were a) coming on to him or b)he behaves in a passive agressive mannor by being sulky and quiet, non communucative. I dont blame them for avoiding him as he always makes it awkward. So before last night there was nothing for him to comment on. But for whatever reason it was last night, he let it slip that even though he wasnt there he could still hear me, was monitoring me somehow.

I actually dont understand how i am feeling about this. More than i am angry. I am numb. I feel as though i cant speak or move freely in my own home. I could go to the police, but with what evidence? Just as i thought i had freed myself from this Psychopath it seems as though it was all an illusion, and he has been there watching and listening the whole time.


Edited by newme34 (09/22/12 08:25 AM)

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#13867 - 09/22/12 04:39 PM Re: Depression and healing [Re: newme34]
Smokey Offline
member

Registered: 03/21/12
Posts: 78
Hi Newme34.
I used to see a Psychopath who did this all the time (pre Facebook days). He would indeed snoop, stalk me and ask mutual friends and acquaintances about me but on top of that he was a very accurate (and inspired) guesser and reader of people's verbal and physical reactions, as so many of these manipulative Psychopaths are.

On one occasion my Psychopath got a friend of his to ask me out, on the phone, while he listened in on the other end, with his friend, all unknown to me, to test what I would say.

Of course I passed the test,saying no thank you I already have a boyfriend, when his friend asked me who my boyfriend was and what he was like. But what normal man behaves like that? This is merely one example of his behaviour.

He would make an informed guess about something he wanted to known, suspected or had a hunch about.

He would laugh it off if he was wrong, but instantly read the confirmation if he was write.
He would pretend to know something to trick me (and others) into talk about something, or confirming something, by tricking the person into thinking that they were not telling him anything he didn't already know.

He would play people off against each other by telling one person another person had said something, and again he would guess right and get the information from one person, by pretending he already knew from the other person.

In this case I suspect your daughter said something that she didn't know she knew. Even just "Mummy was laughing last night".

If he is the jealous, controlling type (what Psychopath isn't?!) his first guess is likely to be another guy, then the trick (lucky guess?) of pretending he knew.

It was incredible how accurate my Psychopaths guesses constantly were, not just with me but with other people too.


Edited by Smokey (09/22/12 04:41 PM)

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