Dear feelinghopeless,
I know a hug won't take the pain from you, but cyber hugs anyway. Yours is the first post i read (i am new here) because i also have 2 teenage daughters (16 & 18). It helps me just to know i am not alone (nor are my kids) in facing the horror of a life forever bound to a psychopath. The most difficult thing for me, i think, is feeling so completely alone. I have a wonderful family and friends, but even those who've been around from the start (even recognized things amiss before I did, struggle to understand how deep and damaging the wounds are. I dont think it is possible for someone who has not been intimately controlled by a psychopath to understand how it fundamentally alters your world and sense of self! This si hard for me because i had few barriers to begin with and one of his many ways to twist my world was to convince me i was crazy, imagining things, exaggerating things, out of touch with what's normal, etc.,etc. When i know the most well intentioned people who support every decision I've had to make still don't REALLY understand why i am so rigid in my rules, it just dredges up all those insecurities he worked so hard to reinforce over the years. It is as if, the voice will never leave no matter how far i run... because he made it "my" voice.
I won't dwell on my story right now. I just wanted to say you are not alons! And i wish you and your girls all the best, may aguardian angel stay close to you and yours all your lives!