Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#14517 - 03/22/13 08:15 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: Nan]
1962 Offline
member

Registered: 01/31/13
Posts: 206
Nan,

So sorry about the knives, that was eerie. Strangely I never felt fear around him, if fact he intentionally tried harder to please me and do more things with me near the end- now I realize it was to keep me in proxcimity for his lacing my food and drink. Once he leaned in to me as I grew sicker and he said, what are your symptoms? - NOt how are you feeling, or can I get you something to make you feel better!!WTF!!!

Again, sick and evil person. Saddens me to no end that I gave him 30 years of my life- but at least I got out with that.

Top
#14518 - 03/22/13 08:20 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: Nan]
1962 Offline
member

Registered: 01/31/13
Posts: 206


NANA SAID

"When I am more aware of who I am and what I want in this or that situation, it is easier to be aware of what other people are and what they want from me."


Yes, so true. I now think, what's the reason or motivation here. I realize that I too can be greedy or manipulative. I was never the controlling mother that guilted her kids (had enough of that with my own and being raised in the Catholic church!) but I do see where at times I also have the ability to spin in my favor ( I realize that for the most part it is to help me feel safe or when I am feeling fear).

Good post Nan, thanks for putting it out there.

Top
#14519 - 03/22/13 08:23 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: funkyinanna]
1962 Offline
member

Registered: 01/31/13
Posts: 206
Funky

The Babyish mask- I think this must be the first one they develop as a kid. My husband has only used it on me most recently. Like pulling out an old Halloween costume. I have seen it only 3 times, but each time it gave me the total creeps. He is well over 5o, 250 pounds and 6' tall. Guess he felt he needed to try whatever he thought would work- bizarre!!!

Top
#14521 - 03/22/13 08:37 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: funkyinanna]
Nan Offline
member

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 501
Originally Posted By: funkyinanna

[]
I keep saying it to myself, some parts of me are still unconvinced

The more I read of your posts this past week, the more I see how you have rallied. Your writing is calmer and, I hope, a true reflection of your state of mind.
Quote:

He wasn't physically violent with me but he did say that his ex tol him she felt like he was raping her...i wonder how long it took him to get to that stage.

Mr. Who liked to talk about rape and raping and when I told him to knock it off he became totally irate.

He also loved writing about sex, but when it actually came to doing anything about it, he did a fast rabbit on and off and when done, he got up, went to the bathroom, washing so thoroughly it was a wonder that 'little who' didn't fall off.
Quote:

(1962 : I know that babyish mask very well!)

Yes,me too! I had forgotten about that one. He once tried to call me "Mother" while using a whiny voice. Just not cute for a man who at the time was 65, fat, bald and doughy.

Nan

Top
#14546 - 03/24/13 07:30 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: Nan]
funkyinanna Offline
member

Registered: 03/16/13
Posts: 48
Nan,

(sorry i just saw this now)

i am calmer and it's weird i'm sure being on this forum and getting support is a big part of it...before that it was just me with my cyclical thoughts driving me crazy and being triggered every now and again by his actions/inactions and words/ignoring

am managing to get more restful sleep too
i tried to block him from sucking anymore energy from me and it seems to be working or maybe it's just the fact that he's preying on another victim now?

the 'rape issue' is still stomach-churning...how did i overlook that? a combination of interest in porn/fetishes/prostitutes and failed relationships with relatively 'normal' women!!

it also bugs me that everyone else who knows him must have known what he was and i was the only one ignorant of it...i wonder how they viewed me?

the baby mask was his favourite ... i guess cause it worked so well on me...and yes if i dared to voice any complaints i was being insensitive or too sensitive!!!

i remembered another comment from our last 'communication'...it's almost laughable...he said he doesn't "want to be soul mates anymore" cause he had "other life plans now"...
how crazy is that?!

Top
#14567 - 03/26/13 04:20 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: funkyinanna]
warrioress Offline
member

Registered: 03/16/13
Posts: 72
My EX spath is now pretending to be a Buddhist/Spiritual, I guess as a cover for anyone who got wind of his previous actions, like a repentant evangelist and he claims getting 'therapy'.
This is less than a month after me getting a RO for him breaking my windshield, stalking me at my window and trying to break into my house when I was not there. It would be Hilarious if it weren't so dangerous, fake and pathetic.
Perhaps we can just call them Ex spath's, or just Spaths.

In a way it drives you crazy that they are 'just onto another', I don't know why, since this is a GOOD thing and we don't want them anyway, but I notice this is something that drives a lot of us mad. I've emailed the next victim, but since he's in the beloved manic phase, they cant see WTH youre talking about, You look like the looney.

Quote:
it also bugs me that everyone else who knows him must have known what he was and i was the only one ignorant of it...i wonder how they viewed me?


Not True! You almost always look like the crazy one. I see his pics on FB and do not understand why I see it and others don't see how evil he is, and I knew it early. I over rid it and so do they. You are not some fool by everyones standards, they don't get it either.

Mine CRIED to me, PLEASE, PLEASE, I LOOOVE YOU. In two days he forgot I existed except for revenge and was already onto next 'Bright, shiny, new girl' who allegedly was 'not as [censored] up as I am", but he'd been brewing that for months. I got to see his inner workings mostly BECAUSE, new bright shiny girl was in range (and I had access to his inner FB pm's and all) The lies were extraordinary, and somewhat delusional as well. She didnt fall for it, so he tried to come back to me, ha!

Its hard not to personalize 'your Spath', because of difficulty writing anything 'other' thing. Think of it though like, my Zombie. Then it's funny. My Zombie did this, or my Zombie did that.....My Spath serves the same purpose, you can de-personalize it. It let's you off the gravity of it to some extent, sometimes!
I really want to de-personalize it, because I still watch my every move, armed, which means I'm still watching his as well.

How many of you are actually 'armed' and know how to use a lethal or non lethal weapon? Believe me, he knows I'm armed and with a RO I have every right, so it sets a CLEAR boundary. Most Spaths don't want to go to jail or get shot.

Top
#14570 - 03/26/13 04:45 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: warrioress]
warrioress Offline
member

Registered: 03/16/13
Posts: 72
About baby things, which psychologists might have a run with........
I noticed when drinking and 'losing it' he actually walked like a child in diapers, or like a 3 year old. I was thinking about this today, rerunning the films in my head, he literally walked like a child, joltily, he became that child- with an adult, horrible, dangerous streak. He walked about like a baby in a diaper. The issue is, many of us had messed up childhoods and do not do these things, nor 'recuperate' so quickly, blame and write off damaging others as 'nothing'.

I saw some really weird stuff in this relationship. (and really I wish this site would not treat Us like 'children' where we cant use adequate words to describe our experiences, as if WE are 3 year olds)

Top
#14571 - 03/26/13 05:04 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: warrioress]
funkyinanna Offline
member

Registered: 03/16/13
Posts: 48
warrioress

i just did something really stupid! i found a new account that he made on fb..the old one is deactivated...he has only 30 friends so far...and no history mentioned prior to 2012 (his latest marketing job) but what makes me sick in my stomach is the hearts and smiles on the posts and comments with his new girl

i feel really sick!

i did notice though that he managed to transfer most of his female 'fans' from the old account and he seems SO HAPPY!!!!

how can that be?

he's even posted stuff that i told him about!!! as if it's his idea!

and his best friend is there ... he obviously knew all along

frown frown frown

Top
#14573 - 03/26/13 05:45 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: funkyinanna]
warrioress Offline
member

Registered: 03/16/13
Posts: 72
I talk about Fakebook all the time. My 'real' friends who are 'real' people cannot see the damage, because they use FB for good reasons and it's a great tool.
Psychopaths use Fb for other reasons. The issue is - that ppl who have been victimized are in trouble with FAKEBOOK.
We Can be further victimized by watching, and I am one of them.
I discussed this with a friend today, that I am not emotionally mature enough to deal with FAKEBOOK. I watch everything he does like a puzzle, because these people are puzzling.

I do remember THIS, that HE has NO REAL FRIENDS. The people he's convincing are not anyone who knows him. I often wonder who they are and wonder why they like him and every damn thing he says, and every pic he posts is funny, cool etc., its Annoying to say the least.
But, What WE know is we met Evil, and it makes 'us' crazy that others don't GET it, but we didn't get it either. I think the biggest worry is that WE MIGHT BE WRONG, since others seem to like them.

Insight: My spath told me that FB was a farce, as he told me ALL his relationships were not real. I was kinda lucky that I heard the underneath dialogue all along.
He told me his BEST FRIEND was not a real friend. So when I see this FB- BS I just think....What new GAME is he playing now, like my Spath trying to pretend he's a Buddhist all of a sudden.

I get mad, because I think- he deserves Nothing! I have looked up these women and wonder what they are thinking, but many ppl on Fakebook are fakers themselves!

Fakebook is bad for victims, but I believe you , like me will go through your own process, and soon it/he/she just wont matter.

I saw Y/t videos of my ex of ten years recently, and believe me, I was not in the least interested in him, and once I thought he was the love of my life.

All this passes, but the sooner you make strict boundaries, the better. I have an RO, the best thing I ever did. I made communication IMPOSSIBLE without jail time.

Top
#14684 - 04/04/13 03:31 AM Re: Do we want to own and personalize THE psychopath? [Re: warrioress]
tiger123 Offline
member

Registered: 03/31/13
Posts: 23
Originally Posted By: warrioress
Mine CRIED to me, PLEASE, PLEASE, I LOOOVE YOU. In two days he forgot I existed except for revenge and was already onto next 'Bright, shiny, new girl' who allegedly was 'not as [censored] up as I am", but he'd been brewing that for months. I got to see his inner workings mostly BECAUSE, new bright shiny girl was in range (and I had access to his inner FB pm's and all) The lies were extraordinary, and somewhat delusional as well. She didnt fall for it, so he tried to come back to me, ha!



ahh This guy cries so much I get so numb & sick & tired of him crying. He'd suddenly appear at my office or home and cry for hours begging on his knees for me to stay. It amazes me at how much stamina he has for churning out the tears. He's been trying to guilt-trip me telling me how hard he's fought to keep the relationship going & why we shouldn't let go. but his "reasons" are now making lesser sense/relevance.

& the more I read about all your experiences, the more I'm starting to realize that the things he did to "win me over" when we first met was nothing but tactics. I've cut off all the resources that he wants from me. "love", money, physical contact, and now totally no contact, and my instincts are telling me he's out looking for his next victim even though he's been telling me "I'm moving on with my life, but i'm not moving on from you no matter what you believe." -.- I hope he moves on quickly, but i know it'll hurt when he does.

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2