Overcome: You state here: "One thing i learned from my experience is to check the family background of someone you meet. A good relationship with parents is important."
I found this to be very upsetting. You posted this comment in the section "psychopath in the family". I do not have a relationship with my family. Does that mean people should stay away from me? My father, the Psychopath, has a GREAT relationship with all his family members. Except me. So, he's the good guy, and I'm the problem.
This is why it's so hard to form and maintain relationships for the children of the psychopath. What you said is what most believe. That the familial relationship is the thermometer to how good or bad a person is. That is someone doesn't have a good relationship with their family, they are the problem.
Overcome mentions that a good relationship with one's parents is important. She didnt write that it's the only thing that counts or that a single parent cannot do a good job or that an orphan is floating down the river by virtue of being parentless.
Here's what Overcome wrote: My emphasis
about parents and their importance:
"One thing i learned from my experience is to check the family background of someone you meet. A good relationship with parents is important.
Of course that none of what just wrote is absolute. ...
It´s also important to keep in mind that we should not drive people away assuming in advance that they could be Psychopaths that only leads to isolation which is not good but everyone heals in a different way. I´m glad i´m over this part but obviously today i´m much more cautious."
I was orphaned because my parents died when I was very young. Would I have been better educated, nicer looking, richer or sweeter or who knows what superlative
if I had not ended up in an orphanage? Maybe and maybe not. Certainly, having loving and caring parents that hang around while you are growing up can only be considered a godsend.
Sometimes, life just doesn't turn up the way we want it to turn up, but that doesn't mean that we are less or that we are a problem or that people should stay away from us. Maybe it makes us stronger!
Here's a quote from a book entitled In the Dark Places of Wisdom
by Peter Kingsley
" We want healing from illness, but it's through illness that we grow and are healed of our complacency. We're afraid of loss, and yet it's though what we lose that we are able to find what nothing can take away from us. We run from sadness and depression. But if we really face our sadness we find that it speaks with the voice of our deepest longing; and if we face it a little longer we find that it teaches us the way to attain what we long for."