"She used to project that I only go after what I want. I often think it's a projection of herself." This is called blame shifting. From what you have shared, she sounds like she isn't able to have a healthy relationship with you. Have you read anything about boundaries and how to establish them? Psychopaths always test boundaries. They don't respect them with anyone. I would suggest learning about how to have healthy boundaries. Establish them, and then if she refuses to respect them, be ready to walk away. Never threaten a psychopath. They love to get revenge to use that to further hurt you. Psychopaths don't listen to reason. They seem to lack the ability for one side of the brain to talk to the other side-there is just something missing. If you try to reason with them, they will look at you as a predator does (emotional manipulation and control feasting). Respond with quietness and decisiveness of behavior. That is what I have learned from going through this.
I have read things on boundaries, and I have had to set them sternly with her. I had to shout at her, hold her accountable for lying so much. It was like everything she had lied about to me came up in one big argument. I love how she said I was being nasty when I mentioned her sick behavior, and child abuse.
When this happened I had just started a full time job, and she began suddenly lashing out at me. I never understood where that was coming from as I had been incredibly open with her to stop her from lashing out, or accuse me of lying, or running off and bad mouthing me to family. She would accuse me of doing something wrong, without me actually doing anything wrong. At the time I thought this would help us as a family with communication. Now I see it was a cycle, where she is still sick, and projecting at me.
And after all these years I feel like a stranger in my own family because of her. She no longer has my phone number, or my address. She doesn't not know where I work either. My brother lives in a different country, and has a solid police record here, that includes domestic violence, DUIs, theft etc., etc.
I have had to move on and get new family, and what a world of difference it is when you're around people who are easy to communicate with, and don't make you feel like you're on egg shells.
I never really applied the word socio-path, or psychopath to her, but it seems apro-pros as her behavior has never really stopped, even when I had done nothing wrong. It's like she could never have that I be a fully formed, and respected person. It's difficult when someone has broke down your boundaries in so many ways, all your life.
I ended up dating a man who was sort of like her, and my brother. What a sick mess that was. Again they will break down your boundaries, and then think they are doing nothing wrong even if it is obviously abusive. It's like they hate the decency in you so they try to destroy it.