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#16029 - 09/06/13 03:45 PM Re: Abduction Risk/Representing myself in court [Re: crocodile]
wingsonearth Offline
member

Registered: 08/28/13
Posts: 6
Thank you for responding. I am also seeking support from DV organization and will be connected soon to their legal aid so will ask them first before filing.

Also, without giving too many details, is it better to give him written notice with plenty of time or to give him notice day before (has to do with our child's schedule, and it is not court ordered). My usual self is considerate and would him notice. Now that I know what I know, I feel I should just him notice day before.

These may seem like minor details but they are huge to me. I have been under his control and manipulation for years and even though we have been separated for 4 years, in last three weeks is first time I am really putting up boundaries.

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#16030 - 09/06/13 04:36 PM Re: Abduction Risk/Representing myself in court [Re: wingsonearth]
crocodile Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
It's not minor. And I would not give him to much time to prepare himself. He won't play by the rules so you also should not.

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#16031 - 09/07/13 11:46 AM Re: Abduction Risk/Representing myself in court [Re: crocodile]
wingsonearth Offline
member

Registered: 08/28/13
Posts: 6
Crocodile, I have read many posts, and you are very active here. THANK YOU for responding so quickly.

I can't tell you how much this support group has helped so far, and I joined less than two weeks ago.

I wonder, does it also help you to help others who have been in your situation (in relationship with a Psychopath)....

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#16032 - 09/07/13 02:03 PM Re: Abduction Risk/Representing myself in court [Re: wingsonearth]
crocodile Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
I think that is the best way to heal after being a victim of abuse, crime or mistreatment of any type - to help people who are in similar situation and if the problem is coming from a wrong system to try to change this system. Via support, education, political action or simply by listening and sharing experiences. This is empowering and makes your experiences, however horrific there are, worth it because they make you a better person and they make you try to change the world for the better (yeah, I know it sounds very grandiose but if I can do something in my life that makes even a bit of change, why not). It makes the bad situations in life acquire new sense and instead of being just something damaging which you want to wipe out of memory they become something valuable to remember.
I'm not sure I'm right but I think that's also why Dianne has been putting money, effort and time into this forum and I'm very happy if I can use this forum to help as well:).

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#16058 - 10/01/13 04:42 PM Re: Behavior problems in school [Re: crocodile]
wingsonearth Offline
member

Registered: 08/28/13
Posts: 6
Our son (10 years old) is starting to have some behavior problems at his new school (being distraction in class and once looking intently at someone which teacher says is "intimidatin" for some children. Right now, father is not connected to school because school is hour away and he has not made effort to come to school.

Should I communicate behavior problems with father or ask school for more information each week so I can document?

What is best way to address behavior problems with our son?

Our son is with me one week and with his father one week (I take him to his father hour away on week he is with father). Ultimately, I want to go back to court to ask that son stay with me during school week. His father exposes him to a lot of media violence, and son already catching father in lies and wants to catch him in lie (has already made maps and plan on how to catch him). I don't encourage it (trying to catch father) but I do listen to allow space for son to open up to me.

Right now, father is acting "normal" with me. In past month, I have established more boundaries then ever before including limited communicating.

Thank you for any insight smile

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