Hi enough911, welcome to the forum. In case you haven't seen this thread it might clear up the issue if he is a NPD.

Difference between NPD and Psychopath

In reply to:

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I couldn't even go there - he's a psychologist he helped set up that program and he knows how non-judgemental it is. I cannot begin to comprehend what it was he was thinking.

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Is your x a psychologist or maybe I am misreading this.

There is also a thread here about Therapy and it's effects, please let me know if you haven't seen it and I would be glad to post the link.

You ask if you are in the right place, my first guess would be yes. All the members here have had first hand experience with Psychopaths and I hope you will receive the support and validation you will need to move forward with your life.

Di

I'm scared, I'm new here !!I'm in denial, I think. I'm ever grateful for the people on here and exposing their experiences so that I can learn how stupid I might be in being with someone I cannot seem to know. All I know right now is that he manipulates conversations and makes me feel guilty for bringing up my concerns about our relationship. Saying he loves me and that I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I may be in denial about everything. I'm even in denial about saying it. I have that gut feeling that something is not right. Thank you for hearing me out

Hi In Denial,

Welcome to the forum. How does your partner rate on the checklist for Psychopaths?

Is he living with you?

If you could tell us more of your story we can help you the best way possible.

Trust your instincts, and no you are not stupid, you just are in a situation that needs to be resolved to best protect yourself. I would venture to guess that none of our members are stupid. You are smart for trying to put the pieces together.

Till we hear more from you,

Di

Hello In Denial

I would presume you have been reading here at the forum for a while so have a good idea in your mind you think your partner has some sort of disorder. I think most people are in denial about many things in their lives, it's normal and understandable especially when you are with a person who provokes reactions in you that make you question yourself. It's only stupid when you don't even accept you are in denial....you are not stupid!

Hopefully you can tell us more about what is going on and we can help you decide how to deal with your problems. Firstly you need to be clear in your mind what outcome you want but I would say very strongly that you need to put yourself first to make that decision. You can then go forward with a goal in mind. Some people stay in an unsatisfactory relationship because they don't value themselves as they should. That is what I mean about putting yourself first.

If you are a 'valuable' person you will expect others to treat you as such ....just as you treat others.

If you can step outside the problem and look at it as though it was your best friend going through what you are ...what would you advise them to do? The goal has to be realistic and if it involves trying to change someone then that is not realistic, the only person you can change is yourself.

There are some good resources here and if you want any help locating them please let us know.

Regards
Jan

WATCH FOR TOTAL LACK OF REMORSE FOR YOUR FEELINGS OF BEING HURT! I think this is the big one. We who feel can identify and feel empathy for others. If your mate shows no regret/remorse for hurting you deeply once, twice, three times...RUN! That's not normal.He may destroy your finances, you could lose your home, and still no remorse. He doesnt care how big or small he's not going to show concern cause he is not affected and will leave you with all of the pain and nothingness.

Well said.

Red flags:

- Career victim. Always in a terrible state and it's everyone else's fault
- Owes large amounts of money, mainly through poor judgement/impulse buying
- More attractive than a date you usually get. You think "wow", why me?
- Aggressive tattoos: tigers, lions, birds of prey etc
- Has to be right and always knows best. Visibly irritated when contradicted.
- Unusual ambiguous speech
- Distorts what you say and repeats it back to you
- Likes power - fast cars, bikes, self-defence, boxing, has to have all the best gadgets
- Boasts about physically attacking previous partners
- Boasts about job skills and competence
- Poor/non-existant relations with his/her family
- Has no contact with and describes all ex-partners and most family as paedophiles/rapists/abusers/alcoholics
- Short/dismissive with waiters and anyone "menial"
- Wants to marry/move in immediately
- Offers rampant sex anytime anyplace, anywhere
- Gives you an STD the first time you have sex (and blames you for giving it to them)
- Inexplicably has no friends
- Inexplicably avoids certain local towns because he/she "doesn't like them"
(ie avoids previous victims)
- Strenuously pretends to be inverse of everything it is not: generous, thoughtful, selfless etc.
- Cruel to animals and generally indifferent to offspring
- Work superiors and colleagues generally terrified of him/her

Dude

Hai,
Can I ask where you got this list from, seriously...I don't recognise most of them....

hellandback~

If you are talking about a "specific" person who you know is psychopathic your post makes sense.

Could you be more specific? Have you seen these qualities several psychopaths????

Psychopaths are all different (beside Dr. Hare's checklist).

I recognize some of them.

hi both

They're all from my own personal experience/initial impressions of a female psychopath. I'm sure they're not typical of all Ps. Just my own observations.

It's an interesting question about whether there are differences between male and female psychopaths. Perhaps that's a topic for another thread?

Cheers
Dude