I don't actually care anymore. Somehow I got detached from this guy, the only times I ever think like I miss him is when I remember times he actually behaved like a human being but then for each moment like that I have 100 other when he showed his true face. I actually like remembering myself then, there was pretty nice moments too when I felt good when we had fun together (well, his was the wicked way but still). I don't really care so much, at least I had something real, he had his smoke and mirrors.
. And like I said before, I'm so so glad that the pieces came together about his [censored] up cheating & schemes nearly 4 months after I left him and the little affection/love that remained had disappeared. The only thing I miss is sex, but I can get that from someone who will worship my body instead of use it, who is not a slimy sex addict & who will not betray me any chance he gets.
At this point and after all the horrible things he put me through, he's just a ghost but a really evil one that still gives me shivers down my spine... If I were to bump into him in person in the city by accident and saw him I would vomit in my mouth.