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#16492 - 10/17/14 02:10 PM Sister is psychopath
Elteedee Offline
member

Registered: 10/14/14
Posts: 5
Loc: South Carolina
Hello to all. As I see everyone introducing themselves, I see the same stories over and over. Not that I'm glad to find others who need support, but I am glad to find a place I can read and see I am not alone.

I'm 50. My sister is 45. There was something different about her from birth. I recall aunts telling my mother (their sister) to put my sister "away." Of course that never happened. I remember her being manipulative as a toddler. She would not walk or talk but had no problem climbing onto the countertops to get what she wanted from atop the fridge. My mother carried her everywhere because she couldn't (wouldn't) walk. My sister would harm herself and turn tears off like the water spigot.

My sister forced herself into a short fall when she was 12. She cried out in pain when she stood. She convinced my mother she had broken her leg. As my mother was running around gathering her items to rush out to the ER, I saw my sister get up from the chair and RUN across the room for the TV remote. I had a harder time convincing my mother nothing was wrong than my sister did convincing her she was injured!

Other things she does/has done:

Ran away at 18; my father gained guardianship from this event
Stands or puts her hands in fire ant piles and gets hundreds of bites for the sympathy others (who don't know her) give
Lies, lies, lies
Took our son's watch and hid it when he came to help with a house project. Stood and straight-face lied she had never even seen him put it down. When pinned, she admitted to hiding it.
Pees on herself; claims she can't help it in an attempt to have to wear adult diapers
will not bathe unless told to and still doesn't use soap
Ran away three weeks after my father's death then threatened suicide when brought back to my mother's house
Obsessed with sex of any kind
Obsessed with Cabbage Patch dolls; approaches strangers with babies and gets overly close to them, asking questions
Walks in public with a gait to show others she is "disabled"
Asks strangers who are visibly handicapped what happened to them in a childish voice
Hit animals
Eats constantly, hides food
Tickled a newborn's feet to hear him wake crying
Obsessed with the butt's of animals
Whispers behind us and we have no idea what she is repeating over and over, grins and stops when we turn and look at her
Will ask for everything she wants at a restaurant in single requests causing several visits = more attention on herself (We've stopped this by simply not allowing her to order)

My sister was raised "special" with the label of mentally retarded. She loved the attention and special care others gave her.

Our family was in counseling from the time my sister was five years old until last year. She was diagnosed very early as mentally retarded. That label stuck until last year. So many things happened in the years between beginning counseling and finally getting the diagnosis last year. But, it's true. She fits almost every sign.

Now, with my mother 70 and my father deceased, I'm next in line to care for her. I cannot. I would have to quit my job. She has to be monitored constantly. South Carolina has no where to go with her. I'm afraid to look ahead.

As you all know, there are many more things my sister has done in her life I could talk about here. I'm stopping for now. Just extremely happy to know I can come here with others leading the same life.

Lisa

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#16493 - 10/17/14 07:02 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Elteedee]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Elteedee, welcome to our community.

Quote:
That label stuck until last year. So many things happened in the years between beginning counseling and finally getting the diagnosis last year. But, it's true. She fits almost every sign.


Not quite which diagnosis you are referring to from last year?

I am quite confused but will wait for your answer to the diagnosis before more questions to make sure I am headingin the right direction. Sorry but just not clear. Does she currently live with your mother who has custody?

Di

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#16504 - 10/31/14 12:53 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Elteedee Offline
member

Registered: 10/14/14
Posts: 5
Loc: South Carolina
Sister was diagnosed last year as psychopath by psychologist. She currently lives with my mother.

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#16505 - 11/05/14 06:35 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Elteedee]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Elteedee,thanks for the information.

It really sounds like you are in a terrible spot. Is your mother currently in good health? I am asking to get a feel for how long you think it might be to take responsibility for her.

I know resources in most places are not that great, but I would think there might be some kind of long-term care facility?

I don't know how you would ever survive taking care of her, how does your mom manage? I don't mean to sound flip, but your situation would really be something I am pretty sure I don't think I could handle taking care of her. Have you given any thought to some other arrangements or is this something your mother is expecting you to take over? I know I could take care of a person/relative who needed my help but once the diagnosis of Psychopath enters the picture pretty clear I couldn't do it. I hope we can support you and learn more about what you are thinking about doing.

Di

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#16516 - 01/15/15 01:28 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
Elteedee Offline
member

Registered: 10/14/14
Posts: 5
Loc: South Carolina
Is your mother currently in good health?
At the time I joined the forum my mother was in good health. She has since broken her hip, had partial hip replacement, had an infection in the new apparatus, surgery to replace the first partial and now home with six weeks of infusions 3x daily.

I know resources in most places are not that great, but I would think there might be some kind of long-term care facility?
There is nothing available to me at this time.

I don't know how you would ever survive taking care of her, how does your mom manage?
Momma ignores it to get through the days. Says she gets tired of trying to keep her straight.

Have you given any thought to some other arrangements or is this something your mother is expecting you to take over?
It seems I will only take over if Momma is completely mentally unaware or deceased. I do plan to place her in a permanent home for mentally ill/challenged citizens.


My Momma's sister came to help us so I can continue to work during the recuperation. My sister stole from my aunt the first visit and the next two. The last week of a visit my sister put the vacuum cleaner bag contents into a bag of my aunt's. I've asked my aunt to not come back. My Momma cannot handle the friction between them. My aunt has sworn she'll call and demand her arrest if my sister does anything else to her.

Thankfully, I was able to speak with the doctor and reschedule the afternoon infusion. I now leave my office in town and go straight home. We live on the outskirts of town. Our (my husband and I) errands must be done past dark now. Something I've avoided in the past.

My daughters, ages 21 and 25, are a big help caring for Momma. My son, 29, cannot take being around my sister. Since she refuses to care for her own hygiene properly it makes being near her impossible if you have a good nose.

My husband will take her outside and work on the small farm with her at his side. She asked to go get food every time. She brags she doesn't take pay but fully expects a meal each time. She pees in the yard. She misbehaves when they go out for food. It's all a game to her. She tells him, "My sister won't let me act a fool when I'm with her." My husband says others know there's something wrong with her. He lets it slide. She KNOWS the difference in acting like a lady and an idiot in public.

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#16671 - 11/17/15 12:26 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Elteedee]
Elteedee Offline
member

Registered: 10/14/14
Posts: 5
Loc: South Carolina
Time is only allowing for my sister to make plans for her next goal. It's now very clear she wants to wear diapers. She has wet herself and defecated on herself several times this year. Once was to avoid a scene at the day care she attends. She has wet in my car and my husband's. She wet the sofa and waited for someone else to find it. She claimed she didn't even know she did it.

Dear God in Heaven why are these souls allowed to continue living? What is their function? My mother asked what she could have done to deserve a daughter like her. If not for my mother, my sister would be in jail for life. I'm sure of it.

She has two pet turtles in separate tanks. In the beginning the turtles were great for her. She acted like she enjoyed them. More lately it has become clear she hopes they die. She won't clean their tanks and just watches if they get stuck under their decks. (I think she positions the decks on purpose for them to get stuck.) She ready for sympathy to be poured on her.

We've caught her on camera kicking our Jack Russells. Seen her with our own eyes kick at or hit other animals. She mean, hateful, evil, wicked!

My mother will not release her to live in a home. She fears she will become pregnant. I want her removed forever. She is 46. Nothing is going to change. It worsens daily.

She talks about nothing but the next thing she will put in her mouth. She hides food to eat later. She's diabetic. Someone giving her a shot would be jolly for her! More attention!

Exhausted mentally over this. My mother fears too much to let her go. I fear what my sister can do to others.

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#16672 - 11/17/15 12:39 PM Re: Sister is psychopath [Re: Elteedee]
Elteedee Offline
member

Registered: 10/14/14
Posts: 5
Loc: South Carolina
Since my January 2015 entry, I have found an adult daycare for my sister. Blissful days of rest for my Momma now.

There have been incidents at the center. My sister started attending in April 2015. She was caught giving items and money to another client. Both restricted actions. Turns out she gave him money. She NEVER gives money without something in return. I shutter to think what was returned as the two items were filming devices. A tiny digital camera and a FLIP video camera. We have no idea where my sister obtained these items in the beginning! We'd NEVER get them for her knowing her drive for anything deviantly sexual. She was also seen making out with the other client. All caught on camera. This is when she "messed herself and couldn't help it" in her words. It was so she could be taken home early and not made to sit through the counseling. This won't happen again. Clothes were sent to keep in storage at the center the next time she "can't find the bathroom."

I hate calling her my sister.

She is 46 years old. The client is 28 and since left the center. His family didn't know what he would do next with her.

There are cameras at the center. She hates knowing her every move in on camera. So much so she has tried to talk Momma into letting her stay home. Momma now knows what a restful day is and is not giving it up!

Within the last few months, SHE has been staying in her room a lot. She lost all Internet privileges. No laptop. No tablet. No smart phone. No using a computer for anything. All because of her sex fascination. Nasty sex fascination. Started checking her phone records to find she calling a driver of the center after hours. Long story short - no phone, written up at the center, and confronted for calling a much older, married man. SHE told the center director she had no one to talk to at home, no one at church to call (dragging God into her evil), and was bored. When asked her daily routine after center, SHE responded, "I go home and do my chores, clean, eat supper, watch TV, crochet and call my sister every night to tell her I love her before going to bed." Crock at crap! She goes home and pretends to nap, eats everything that can't outrun her, tries her best to get around the parental controls on the TV to order porn and knows I won't talk to her. Only calls me when it's to benefit her.

I have to let her ride in my car to take my Momma to visit her mother this weekend. I'm lining the seats of my car with puppy pads. She's messed up my cars in the past. I'm sick of her antics.

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