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#16574 - 05/14/15 07:33 AM Sister being alienated from friends and family
aca00js Offline

Registered: 05/12/15
Posts: 2
I'm pleased I've found this forum as my family is going through hell at the moment all because my brother-in-law has poisoned my sister against everybody who cares for her.

Issues got very bad just before Christmas when my sister went crazy at my parents and has since not replied to any communication we have tried to make. I've seen now that over 12 years he has worked on my sister and destroyed her as a person.

I had being trying the gently approach and just saying how much we love her and want to hear from her. But I decided to become the bad guy so sent an e-mail pointing out how he has brainwashed her (I had to try something and if this was the only way to get a response I had to take it). This got the reaction I expected, a crazy response with comments that like how our family betrayed her and that she would rather live alone than having anything to do with her family.

Now I'm hoping to get some support for my parents to try and help her see the light. I'm not sure this is possible from the reading I've done.

This story is long so I'm sorry about that but I just want to get it all written down and for somebody to listen to what has happened as I don't know how to deal with getting rid of my brother-in-law from our lives.

The relationship broke down with my brother-in-law as I was sick of him spying on my facebook account and take posts I made out of context, so I decided to block him. Yet this was a great insult and apparently I wasn't welcome at his house anymore. But instead of telling me, he gave me the silent treatment and instead tried to use my dad so I would turn against my parents. The family have one of the most strange setups you would know, my oldest nephew is very good at football and was originally with Newcastle United but behind my sisters back he arrange for him to join Manchester City. This meant that my nephew and his dad would move to Manchester and my sister and the other two children would remain in the north east as she has a GP practice there. Which then involved her taking the 3 and 1 year old each Friday night to be in Manchester at the weekend. As my sister couldn't cope on her own my parents helped out and my mum ending living with her for nearly a year. Since then my brother-in-law has managed to upset the people at Manchester City that he moved my nephew to Manchester United and who knows how long he will last there before the club has enough of my brother-in-law or they don't do as he pleases.

He know thinks he is some kind of great football coach who can't work as he has to guide my nephew to become the greatest footballer that ever lived and is obsessed with the money that he will earn. Both the other two children are now with him in Manchester as all he cares about is making sure my oldest nephew is happy and shows no consideration for the two youngest children.

Now since he moved to Manchester he got 10 times worst as he no longer had full control over my sister. First to go was me, he tried to get me in serious trouble at work which is when I had enough of his games and behaviour. All I did was let it be known how they handle the situation was cruel but as you know they are never wrong so what they did was fine. This action deeply hurt my feelings and I nearly ended up taking my own life as I felt betrayed by my own family and my parents were just concerned about seeing the grandkids. There has being no remorse about this situation and apparently I am the one who is in the wrong, since I showed my parents the full evidence of what they did, this made them question both my sister and brother-in-law, which again was the turning point of them. Once the youngster grandkid was old enough to remain in Manchester they were no longer of use and have being cut off.

The things my brother-in-law has done to my sister is nothing short of torment. He continually accuses her of having affairs, I recently found out that he had being driving for 20+ years without a driving license with no concerns about the safety of his children. We don't know much about his past but know of one previous partner who he suddenly left.

I'm not sure there is much we can do to try and help my sister but thank-you for reading my tale as it felt good to get it written down.

#16575 - 05/14/15 09:03 PM Re: Sister being alienated from friends and family [Re: aca00js]
Dianne E. Offline


Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi aca00js, welcome to our community. It is very sad to read of this huge break with your family. Your comment has me quite concerned.

This action deeply hurt my feelings and I nearly ended up taking my own life as I felt betrayed by my own family and my parents were just concerned about seeing the grandkids.

I am concerned that this has caused you to even consider thinking about taking your own life. I hope you have been able to seek some help if it is that serious. Are you really serious? Have your reached out to any professional for help and how are you currently feeling about the situation.

I am very concerned about this statement. What have you been able to do in order to not have these thoughts?


#16596 - 06/01/15 07:09 AM Re: Sister being alienated from friends and family [Re: Dianne E.]
aca00js Offline

Registered: 05/12/15
Posts: 2
Hi Dianne and thank you for your concern. Those feelings are from a year ago and I have since moved on. I went to see a counsellor who helped me understand what my brother-in-law has done.

I have since moved back to be with my parents to help support them and we all help each other.

There has being some progression with the situation as my sister has made contact and my parents will be going to see her this week so hopefully some progress can be made. I doubt it mind as she currently has her head in the sand regarding anything her husband does.


Moderator:  Dianne E.