Hi, I am new to this community and have been struggling with coming to terms with everything that I have been through over the past 3 years and how any of it happened. I write a lot of poetry for therapy and I wanted to share my most recent one with you guys because I think most everyone who has been involved with a psychopath will be able to relate to some degree and I would love feedback:)

do no ask me the exact sequencing

of events, or exactly how

it all happened, or even

the sound of his name, because

his name is not safe

in my mouth anymore, and i

cannot distinguish

the days from the weeks.



i cannot tell you the whole truth or

what was really real,



but i can tell you the shape of his shadow

and the precise shade of

dusk he wore.



i can tell you the way that he haunts

even when he is no longer here,



i can tell you which floorboards to avoid

to prolong going undetected.



i can tell you how he morphs bodies

and minds

into shapeless

raw

bloody things.



i can tell you about hiding the knives

in fear that some night he will

slip in through the walls and cut out

my tongue to

finish what he started.



i can tell you how hard he bit down on

my tongue and exactly how it felt

to have the tissue sever so that

my lips and my story

can never connect.



i can tell you about the nightmares filled

with nothing but the sound

of his laughter and the cracks

inside of his eyes.



i can tell you about how dizzy it feels to live

inside of here,

and what it is like to carry pliers around with you

everywhere, just clinging onto some hope that

somehow

someday

someway,

i will be able to ply my throat apart

and rip out something

close to what it looked like

and something close

to what was real.