Hi, I am new to this community and have been struggling with coming to terms with everything that I have been through over the past 3 years and how any of it happened. I write a lot of poetry for therapy and I wanted to share my most recent one with you guys because I think most everyone who has been involved with a psychopath will be able to relate to some degree and I would love feedback:)
do no ask me the exact sequencing
of events, or exactly how
it all happened, or even
the sound of his name, because
his name is not safe
in my mouth anymore, and i
the days from the weeks.
i cannot tell you the whole truth or
what was really real,
but i can tell you the shape of his shadow
and the precise shade of
dusk he wore.
i can tell you the way that he haunts
even when he is no longer here,
i can tell you which floorboards to avoid
to prolong going undetected.
i can tell you how he morphs bodies
i can tell you about hiding the knives
in fear that some night he will
slip in through the walls and cut out
my tongue to
finish what he started.
i can tell you how hard he bit down on
my tongue and exactly how it felt
to have the tissue sever so that
my lips and my story
can never connect.
i can tell you about the nightmares filled
with nothing but the sound
of his laughter and the cracks
inside of his eyes.
i can tell you about how dizzy it feels to live
inside of here,
and what it is like to carry pliers around with you
everywhere, just clinging onto some hope that
i will be able to ply my throat apart
and rip out something
close to what it looked like
and something close
to what was real.