My story probably sounds all so familiar, however I feel I am labelling my ex-wife as a Psychopath to make it easier on me going back around with self blame.
I'm a 50 year old guy, reasonably affluent and held a high profile role with significant status in our local area, for which I was well regarded and held in high esteem by many. I classed myself as a regular guy with the right moral, ethical values.
9 months after the end of my first marriage to an alcoholic, I meet my SP at a friends BBQ, charming, flirtatious and knowledgible of my circumstances we exchange numbers. Texting follows, however She moves to reside with parents due to an alleged breakdown and it takes 6 months before we go out on a date. Thereafter a whirlwind fairytale type romance and I believe I have found true love after years of misery. Sex initiated after 2 dates when she tells me 'Lets get this over', insatiable and mind blowing. Took her and her 14 year old son as my own, and provided a lifestyle unknown to them, holidays, theatre, hotels fine dining, engaging with the son as my own helping with studies, sports, hobbies. 2 years and she proposes to me which coincides with my retirement from a high profile and well paid public position. New large house bought and a wedding to shame many others arranged within 3 months.
Day after wedding, her 28 year old announces she is pregnant and leaving her partner of 7 years and will stay with us. Thereafter, I became the cook, cleaner and laundry man and the house conversion began for the new baby...no consultation or consideration...its happening. Next my son 19 is humiliated by the daughter and wife to the extent he leaves and becomes homeless, whilst my other married daughters are ex-communicated. I become a passenger and am told that we cannot be intimate or show affection in case it upsets the daughter. I return home one day and find the former husband sprawled along the couch....visiting his daughter, no mention or consideration to me. Daughter visits America with baby for a month, buys new car and announces she is returning to full time work and cannot afford her own accomodation.I express my concerns and opine that we are being worked by the daughter... Wife announces, circumstances have changed , deal with it. I try to explain that we need some quality time to be married but to no avail. Mother, daughter and baby go on holiday whilst I remain at home to look after the cat, dog and 14 year old!
15 months into marriage I purchase months holiday in America to visit her son and new grand child, a gift for her 50th birthday. On holiday her demeanour changes to something very distant and argumentative, whilst the 14 year old is now shouting 'Im not his father so I cant tell him what to do'and my wife backs him up.
Fast forward, we return from trip of a lifetime on friday and have an evening of passion like never before. Next day at work I receive a text advising me that its not working out and I should leave. Stunned I return home to be coldly told 'My daughter needs me more, I cant be your wife. How about 2 houses for a few years, then we could hook up again'.So bewildered and confused was I, that I left to reside with parents thinking the storm will pass. BY the end of the week she has reverted to her maiden name and is viewing alternative properties. y please for dialogue are refused, my texts are ignored and calls terminated.
One year on, I remain heartbroken and almost fixated on my love lost. Research has helped enormously, and I think I experienced the idealization, devaluation and discard like no other.
In the aftermath I learn there is a life of chaos, promiscuity, terminations and failed relationships, whilst her first marriage collapsed after her involvement with a prisoner she was treating (Mental Health Nurse...how ironic). She fell pregnant to him and was hospitalised due to multiple beatings. She abandons her first husband and children aged 3 & 5, removed by court order due to her reputation, who remain with their father for the next 13 years, whilst she brings up her new child on her own.
Family and friends (although they are all former, she has no actual friends) in the aftermath start to make the disclosures and highlight some of the behavioural troubles from the past. A history of treatment for depression, suspensions from work for inappropriate relationships with mental health patients, 3 terminations to different fathers but not tell then until after the event. Residing with parents becaause she wished to stab her then 9 year old. A work colleague in the same field, advises me to look up Psychopath...
My wife refuses to contact me in any way, I have no access to 14 year old to whom I was father for 5 years and She has moved her life on as if I never even existed. There have been no explanations to family, other then 'he blew it'.Reading from others, it sounds as if I am lucky the discard has been absolute.
What just happened to me and is it reasonable to assume I have parted with a Psychopath? Charlie