Topic Options
#16666 - 11/09/15 04:13 PM There always has to be a beginning,
Notmyfault Offline
member

Registered: 11/05/15
Posts: 17
Getting comfortable in my place here, will be posting soon...

Top
#16667 - 11/09/15 07:38 PM Re: There always has to be a beginning, [Re: Notmyfault]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Notmyfault, just settle in and know that your stjavascript:%20void(0)ory is a very important one. I think pain is everywhere when dealing with a psychopath but when a child is involved the scales really tip.

I am really glad we connected again and will look forward to more of yours story; the space is limitless here so please take your time and be kind to yourself in the process.

All my best,
Di

Top
#16668 - 11/10/15 01:28 PM Re: There always has to be a beginning, [Re: Notmyfault]
Notmyfault Offline
member

Registered: 11/05/15
Posts: 17
To refresh.... I am a prior foster/adopted child. In locating my bloodline I have once again renewed my interest in these predators. I have held the shame thru out my life of who I was, who I am and who I can be. I realize at age 60, that predators leave a long trail of victims. And as we talk about psychopaths in our lives, if you have been drawn to one....look at your life, your family. I have always been a believer in the genetic compound, this is not a new awakening. I have found more personal evidence of these predators in my life, and also of the emotional insanity that takes over the life of those who have been effected. Possibly by more than they realize. It just isn't as uncommon as we pretend. The national percentage for psychopaths is equivalent to percent with depression disorders. How many times has your life been in contact with those with depression?

So if all will bear with me, here starts my story. Between Narcicissts and psychopaths my life has been drenched.

My Bio mother was a very sick woman, I will give her that. I hold no blame to her, but as I have learned more pieces started making sense. I understand my life is a bit difficult to believe. All this is true , as of lately confirmed and not embellished.

my bio Mom had already had 4 small children by her previous marriage. She met my father while working as a dancer in St. Louis and after a. 3 day romance they ran off together. She brought her children , from baby to age 9 to a babysitters and never returned. They ended up in St. Ann's orphanage in St. Louis. I will go into their fate later, but for now I am moving on. My mother ended up in Chicago. I was born on the North side in her bed. I was the 7th child and arrived quickly. My father ran to a local tavern for help. At this time I also had a older sister at home. She was almost 2 years older than me. I knew of my siblings but have only been reunited with my sister since Feb. 2014. And together we have been putting many pieces together. Our father was in the Navy and our mother was raising us alone.

The south side neighborhood where we now lived, had been watching out for us for they knew we were being abused. Shortly before this time while walking and carrying me at 9 months old, my mother had an epileptic seizure. I landed on the road head first. This was no ones fault....but believe connects,later. My mother would use the neighbors for babysitters when they allowed her too. They had not heard or seen us in a while and their curiosity probably saved our lives. My mother liked to dress fancy, and party. She would leave my sister at age 2 1/2 to care for me along with our two Great Danes. I was told we lived by the freightyards in an area referred to as the wrong side of the tracks. During one of her abandonments she again did not come back, was told it was for days. The neighbors investigated and after hearing crying inside called police/welfare.

I had been left in a dresser drawer and my sister left to care for me with the dogs. The place was in squalor and you don't even want to know what we ate to survive. When. I was found I was thought to be dead. My navel had popped from the crying and I was in pretty bad shape. My sister was very dirty and starving doing her best to care for me. Welfare removed us. Our mother had been put in Manteno Hosp. For many years. While there they gave her a labotamy.

My sister and I had been taken in by the neighborhood. Two of the neighbors wanted to adopt us, though seperately. Please keep in mind I did not grow up knowing this, just bits and pieces. Originally I found that we had actually when we were young, we had been living next door to each other in this Canaryville neighborhood. The woman who tried to adopt me was denied due to finances and the fact that she had already one adopted child. She turned to her sister who agreed to adopt me legally and then hand me over to her. Eventually all would be made legal.

During the time of growing up the two sisters had a bitter fight. The legal mother out of spite took me away from her sister. We moved to a further south side neighborhood where I was a toddler. My present parents owned a restaurant on a very busy Kedzie ave. street. Because they were busy I was kept in the back yard, it was fenced. But I am told I would get out and end up all thru the neighborhood. My mother then would tie me by my clothes to a backyard tree. But that also didn't work, I would undress and again take off. Do not know how his problem was resolved, but we did end up moving to the suburbs.

As a small child I actually have many warm memories of my adopted mother..I think it was after her mother died her drinking turned more crazy, I do know it was around age 8-9 when things got bad for me. I had been being molested along with a friend by a young guy working at a gas station behind our house. I was 8 and my friend was 10 and we would go there for candy bars. I can't say how long it went on, but I do know I ended up telling my dad what was going on. He punched the guy out and this infuriated my adopted mom. Will write more later...

Top

Moderator:  Dianne E.