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#16720 - 04/09/16 04:30 PM Should I let his new girlfriend know?
SmarterNow Offline

Registered: 04/09/16
Posts: 1
After 5 years with a psychopath yesterday I was finally able to give his behavior a name. I had no idea what a psychopath really was beyond serial killer, criminal, glib speech. My relationship was textbook classic and even in my ignorance I should have ended it two years ago. During that time I became such a victim of his emotional abuse that I lost myself, I kept trying to "figure him out" and help him. The best advice I got during that time was from a dear friend who wrote I.N.M.F (It's not my fault) in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. It helped to remind me that his behavior was his alone and I was not the cause of his addictions or anti-social behavior. Nevertheless, I stayed and tried to work on the relationship because a child was in crisis and ending the relationship at that time would have been harmful for him.

There were so many red flags. While I'd known him for decades we didn't date until about 5 years ago. Over the decades he married and divorced 3 times. At least two of the women were intelligent, good people. I know them.

He moved out January 1st, but it wasn't until yesterday that I began to feel the fog lift. During the past three months, I was more depressed than I'd ever been in my life. I didn't want to live. I felt no joy. It was awful. I know I'm not out of the woods, but I can see a path.

He has started seeing someone else. I know very little about her from FB but she seems like a nice person. She is mother with at least one child at home and a widow. She recently lost a lot of weight and moved to my city. She does not strike me as anything but his next victim. I don't want her to suffer. Should I warn her?

Edited by SmarterNow (04/09/16 04:32 PM)

#16723 - 04/16/16 04:19 PM Re: Should I let his new girlfriend know? [Re: SmarterNow]
newtothistuff Offline

Registered: 03/05/14
Posts: 21

This is going to sound wrong to you, but No.
After discovering about PPs a few years ago, I felt like I should tell the world about them. Its a lot harder than you would think and will usually end up reflecting upon you in their minds. Unless one has been close to or affected by them, they will not understand. Believe me I've tried. If she is already sucked in, she is not going to listen to his crazy ex. And you may experience the PP's wrath as aftermath. Maybe, if anything, you could anonymously send her a printout of the phases of PP courtship or descriptions of love-bombing. or whatever is modus operandi is. but I would still be careful.