Thank you, I am trying. I have a good job .he text me tells me ugly things about me . I do wish he would find someone to mess with enstead of me .

Remember projection- the ugly things he is saying about you are very possibly the truth about himself.

Unfortunately love and logic are very different things so trying to rationalise yourself out of love is none too easy.

I am so sorry for your pain. I have been there and it is possible to come out the other side, albeit with great regrets and in my case it took many years.

However I still need no contact or I could all too easily fall back into that whole awful mess again.

I am very sorry that you are suffering so deeply. At first we endure a seemingly unending agony. Reading your posts reminds me of those horrible early days. I recall longing for his recognition and a reconciliation with the person I had loved so blindly. I would have done anything to return to the way things were, to undo or un-see and un-hear all the craziness. Not anymore. Reality has sunk in,I hate what happened, occasionally I miss the person I thought I knew, but I know better. I am no longer a basket case. I have no interest in being a pawn in his pitiful world.

It might take you a while to get your head around the situation because your brain is forced to process something for which it has no working frame of reference. Few people have any idea, I never did and I am reasonably well read and intelligent. I held the movie version of the Psychopath as my reference point.

I can offer you hope; one day when enough time has passed without contact you will feel better. Keep trying, take it easy on yourself and take care of yourself. Remind yourself that he has nothing of value to offer you, he never did have. Psychopaths are cowards, cons, sadists and faithless liars. The Psychopath is UNABLE to relate in any meaningful way to anyone. He is UNTREATABLE. He will project his own rage, hostility, paranoia, faults etc... on to you. He is eternally enslaved by his pathology and will reenact his scenario repeatedly throughout his life objectifying all and showing particular hatred for all that is female.

It has been eighteen months for me and though I am not where I want to be I am no longer in the depths of despair. My brain used to be in a fog, frequent crying, frozen in a loop of intrusive thoughts of the Psychopath. Because of him I lost my business, my family and the Psychopath. He was also my business partner and a man whom I had trusted for 23 years. Blindsided would not begin to describe the situation. I could not afford therapy but hundreds of hours of research, reading and this web site have given me the tools to keep moving, ever onward, past those early days and on to the rest of my life. Better to live in a shotgun shack than a castle with the Psychopath.

You mentioned that people say you can do so much better, believe them.

All my best to you.

Hi... Uhm I'm kind of looking for an outlet, hopefully help but it seems this forum is dead... But the phsycopath isn't my family, she was a friend... More then a friend for a night but it was just that.. But she randomly stabbed my face three times one night dropping her off... For no reason at all. I'm a 18 Year old girl,just about to turn 18 actually.. I'm not sure if there is an age restriction. And if so I'm sorry I wasn't aware.. but I just had no where else to turn... My family doesn't get it, I have no friends because of her... All of them are talking to her again, and she was a centimeter away from my artery on my throat... Now I have three scarrs.. I have no idea what's going on with my case I'm from new York and everything is so full. So my d.a. doesn't even know my name really... I feel lost and alone and terrified to leave my house... She's taunting me on the side lines, she was manipulating me the whole friendship, isolating me from everyone, even my own boyfriend... Who she had known for years and only I for a year... Me and him had a problem like Ross and Rachel with the whole it was a break thing, haha, and then he lost his trust in me and turned to her.. He trusted her more then me... And she tried to kill me in his car, he took the knife and threw it out the car... Later it was recovered by police... But she's out having the time of her life... She lives. in Jersey, not to far from this drug addict Island... But she comes to visit people I was friends with... Not even a week ago we were talking and I see him and her on instagram drinking and having fun.. I can't take this I really am crashing... I need someone or something to save me. I don't want to feel like this but I can't help it... All I want is to cry and hurt myself because I hate myself now. I'm more disgusting then I ever was... I hate therapy. I tried it twice, first I was actually made fun of because she had to do so many tests more then she has ever done. So maybe I'm a psychopath? I just don't get it. I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm scared to fight and I almost die? I was told on the table I was pale as a ghost, they thought I was gonna die. And all I remember is feeling the blood drip down.. I just wish there was someone who could help me through this. But I can't trust anyone. I was nearly murdered by the first friend I've had in years. I was molested by my cousin. My mom was knocked out by a random guy in the house, twice one when I was there another when I wasn't... She didn't kill me, but she killed who I was. And every day I think about her. I don't ant to, songs, clothes of mine, people just trigger her into my head. And then I just can't stop visualizing the reflection of my carried face in the visor when I went to see what she did... I thought she was punching me. I couldn't even feel it. The hair pulling, pinning me to my seat from behind, I hate people behind me, touching my hair.. I think I need to move..

Sincere98

I am sorry you are having such a terrible time of things.

Styx