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#16921 - 06/03/17 08:19 AM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: Dianne E.]
DadofRad Offline

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Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 91
Thanks, he is in a foster home right now, which is just a regular foster parent, with a little special needs education. She knew about the phone but didn't investigate it. There are valuable skills a phone can help with. Most phones have child safety features you can use too. I was listening to the cost of silence book and she mentioned a lot of ADHD apps. Her son turned out to be bipolar and it mentioned physical symptoms of bipolar that do not match my son, plus bipolar has been ruled out for my son by other doctors.

My son was really obsessed with getting a phone and now that I took it away he is still very angry. Counsellors have already said not to give it back. He may stay angry about it and become more aggressive. I don't believe he is suicidal except when he thinks he can use it to get what he wants. Of course, I report it to keep it in his behavior records.

The movie version of stranger beside me is on you tube. It's a made for TV movie. It captures pretty well how they victimize, manipulate, and cover up and how they trap their victims.


Edited by DadofRad (06/03/17 08:22 AM)

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#16922 - 06/03/17 09:11 AM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: DadofRad]
Dianne E. Offline

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Registered: 11/15/02
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Hi, thanks, I have the show on my list to watch. It must put you in a very complicated situation. Really a no win situation it appears, if you give it back to him life will be easier than having him angry. Does this foster parent have any training in how to deal with this kind of situation? I am guessing that to be a foster parent a person would have to be kind and caring, just the type of victim they seek out.

I am interested in cults and Ponzi schemes because I have yet to find one that wasn't created by a true psychopath. I ran across this show yesterday. It is a media version of what happens with a Ponzi scheme when you can dupe the most people. I had corresponded with the creator a few years ago so I can say with certainty she isn't some nutjob blabbing on YouTube. This documentary is very interesting. I know Bernie Madoff did a lot of harm but what he was missing was the media effect. It appears that the financial world is well aware of her tactics but people are still promoting her as a "good" person.

How Suze Orman scammed the middle class and poor

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#16923 - 06/04/17 04:40 PM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: Dianne E.]
DadofRad Offline

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Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 91
Not sure what show you are talking about with Ponzi. You didn't mention the name.

This foster mother is not a pushover. I think she is in her late 60s at the youngest, but is ready to call the police as soon as my son get's out of control. So far he hasn't done that with her. The problem is she doesn't supervisee much and just kind of lets him do whatever he likes as long he stays in the neighborhood and is home by a certain hour. She doesn't realize what he is capable of and will trust him as long as he doesn't get in trouble. This is a low income area, so there probably aren't that many parents keeping track of the kids. Now with being a teenager, he is happy to be left alone. This is the most freedom he has ever had, so he is happy for now. It's when you start watching him and setting boundaries that he gets upset.

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#16924 - 06/04/17 05:59 PM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: DadofRad]
Dianne E. Offline

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Posts: 2762
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Hi Sorry for not being clear. I watch the show American Greed because they have shows that involved white collar criminals. Ponzi schemes are typically:

A Ponzi scheme (/&#712;Psychopath&#594;n.zi/; also a Ponzi game)[1] is a fraudulent investment operation where the operator, an individual or organization, pays returns to its investors from new capital paid to the operators by new investors, rather than from profit earned through legitimate investments or business activities. Operators of Ponzi schemes usually entice new investors by offering higher returns than other investments, in the form of short-term returns that are either abnormally high or unusually consistent.

It is basically a way to get money from people with the lure of high returns. They usually work well until they run the course. What happens is they get people to invest and get paid very high-interest rates. They usually get innocent people to put their houses at risk and it is amazing how many people take the bait. Then people get their friends and relatives to also invest so it becomes kind of like a pyramid scheme. Eventually, the gig is up and the bottom falls out. What I found interesting about this documentary is that it is kind of a hybrid on the old schemes. In this case, it is using the goodwill of the media to dupe the public. It seems like most people in the financial world know it is a scheme but yet the public is still being sold a bill of goods.

All of these scams are run by white collar psychopaths. The smarter ones find ways to commit fraud where the money is really good and the punishment if caught is low.

The situation where you son is seems ripe for all kind of issues. It is interesting they would place him in a home where he could roam. I bet he really enjoys it. I am older so we were raised to keep ourselves busy outside and be home for dinner. Times are different now and it is interesting it is allowed. I would think they would consider him a high risk? Is he still asking about the phone? Did she know he had the phone or was it the school that found out?

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#16925 - 06/07/17 06:05 AM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: Dianne E.]
DadofRad Offline

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Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 91
She knew he had a phone, he was constantly using it. But she is not technical and as long as he kept his mischief private, she had no idea. When I saw him using the phone he was using mostly innocent children's games. It wasn't until I saw his facebook profile picture and had calls from all our relatives who he invited to be friends that I knew he was being inappropriate.

I knew if he is given the freedom he will eventually get caught doing something, but at this stage it might have to go to the police to get noticed. If/when that happens that will be more than enough evidence. Now I have to balance between waiting and watching and keeping tabs, and alerting his social workers when I see something. If I alert too much, he will not share with me what he is getting into, like the other night he told me he had hit a 9 year old in the face (he is 13) and that he had plans to "get" his school counselor before school lets out. Sometimes, I think he just tells me these things to see me react, he knows I report things.

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#16926 - 06/07/17 01:21 PM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: DadofRad]
Dianne E. Offline

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Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2762
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Hi, it is indeed a very thin line. It will probably be harder and more difficult as time goes on to find the truth and if he is setting you up. I assume he is telling you these things on the phone? It must be hard to hide your reaction when visiting in person. Is he the only foster child she has? I wonder if people do this for the love of helping or the income.

Does he just talk about general ideas or express how he plans to "get" the counselor.

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#16927 - 06/10/17 06:40 PM Re: RE: Adopted child and RAD [Re: Dianne E.]
DadofRad Offline

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Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 91
She has another child that is 17. I think she just prefers to have older children who dont require much attention or effort. Yes he talks on the phone. The last conversation he refused to go to court ordered family counseling and said he doesn't want anything else to do with me. Why? Becaise I said I want to see the tablet he said was broke so i could child protect it.

Ive learned to hold my tounge with him and not react emotionally to what he does. If I do it just teaches him how to manipulate more.

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#16962 - 07/29/17 07:42 AM Re: Adopted Child & RAD [Re: DadofRad]
DadofRad Offline

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Registered: 07/18/14
Posts: 91
Right now my son has been in the dependency court system for a year and they are trying to find a permanent plan for him and of course their goal is reunification. There is a Federal law that says after a year in the dependency system a permanency plan must be made. In most cases their plan is reunification. I do not know what the next hearing will bring. They may terminate my parental rights, have us continue doing what we are doing and hope that he will someday get better, or maybe some compromise in between. Iím not worried right now because I have the recent hospitalization and his foster mother requesting he be moved out as evidence that he is not any better. I also have a recent social worker staffing report that recommends another higher level of group home placement. In addition, I have my Doctors recommendation and a lawyer who will stand with us. But yes, DCF only has one agenda it seems and that is reunification. If they confront me with that again, I am going to plainly tell them that my agenda is to keep my whole family safe and protected. They canít really blame us when I am trying to protect my family and I have reports that say my concerns are valid. However, ever temporary improvement, new placement, new therapist, or discharge from a facility that reports he is better is unnerving and I actually pray he will act up to keep my evidence current. So far he hasn't let me down.

I was reflecting on why I write here. I just wanted to get some type of digital record out there so that other parents who are going down this route will know what to do and what to ask for. Of course every country is different and every State even has different laws. Someone told me that in Nebraska you can leave your older child at a hospital or fire department and abandon them if you feel you cannot care for them, and no one will prosecute you. I do not know if that is true. In general, I would assume, most states have similar programs and similar laws.

The problems is the APA won't recognize this condition, and containment and group home care is too expensive to be covered by normal insurance means. However, I know if he had autism, there would be a lot more programs available, and even group homes for that. However, autism is recognized as a chronic child condition, ASPD/Psychopath is not. So people continue not getting help, parents live in denial or isolated helplessness, and psychos grow up without even getting diagnosed, let alone treated or restricted from hurting others. And in my case, good parents become dependency cases. Most parents only get to this point after the child has committed a crime and is forced into the court system. Even then, I know parents in that situation who still don't understand what a psychopath is and still love their child, so they bail him out, take him back, and continue living in great peril, hoping and believing that somehow their love will pay off in the end. I had to have several doctors and professionals tell me that I need to cut my losses and realize he won't get better, and he will just tear your family apart. Deep down, I knew they were right, but hope sometimes keeps you going down a hopeless path because the truth is too unthinkable and tragic to accept.


Edited by DadofRad (07/29/17 07:44 PM)

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