My situation was different in that I had a child that is a psychopath. I know I have experienced PTSD as well as my wife and daughter. He has been out of the house for 2 years and I'm just now feeling like I can move on emotionally. My best advise is to document everything. Write a detailed journal describing all of the traumatic events you can remember. The further removed you are the harder it is to remember, because your brain naturally blocks out painful memories. Ask others for reminders. At your stage, it probably needs to be collective journal with her and the children. Also, pull up any emails or past doctors notes, ask for diagnostic reviews from any doctor visited. You are entitled to all records pertaining to you or your minor children (in the states). They will push back, but you can force this through legal means. Finally, sometimes just letting go and moving on is the best thing you can do, and best way to let the psycho know that he doesn't control you anymore.