I only knew this man 3 months.
So, i met him first on a perfect summer day, in Human Rights class (I was taking the course because i've advocated and worked for human rights most of my entire life. He was doing it for the credits). The first time i looked him in the eye, it felt like my soul was being lifted off the ground. It was magnificent. It was so intense.. but so empty.
Well, we got to talking, and it felt like he knew everything about me. He would ask all the right questions, with perfect timing. I never met anyone so intune.. so focused with me. In that moment, i knew i had been won. It just seemed like he truly cared. Looking back on it, though, when he spoke, he had this "boyish innocence" which lowered my guard, but also the look of a Marine or Cop. It was a combination of looks (many contradictory) that had me so interested yet frightened by this mysterious man.
We got very close, and i started noticing more things. He would lie about literally everything - even things that didn't matter, or things that were obviously not true. Like he took a bong hit in the other room while i was on a date with him, and when i kissed him i asked if he smoked. So chillingly calmly, he got close and looked me in the eyes and simply said, "No". It looked like his eyes were churning.. focusing in on me. And then it got scary..
He slipped out of plans with me multiple times, probably to smoke weed and play video games. So then he moved in. He mooched off me at home, always expected dinner to be done when he got home, and even dumped me on the spot because i wasn't all smiles. Any sign that i changed from the fun, bubbly person i was was cue for him to leave. So i pleased him. And boy did i please him. Our sex life was getting stranger and stranger by the day, as he adds in new was of dominating me while ignoring my request to go slower. He began recording us having sex as well. And some things he made me do on camera were degrading.
Eventually he choked me one night until i passed out. That was when i said i need to call it quits, and i left him this time. It was such a good feeling to finally see his "mask" off, so that i could confirm my suspicion i had from the start. We don't keep in contact, because he sent me an extremely nasty email, basically ripping my life apart. I'd never been so hurt, let alone from an email.
I guess our separation was hard, because i just lost this amazing friend who knew exactly what i needed. But i knew i was playing with fire, and i am fortunate to get out as early as i did.
He never hit me, and he rarely yelled.
I'm sorry i'm sure i've left some things out.. this was about three years ago, and i still will remember him better than other boyfriend i had. It was a bitter sweet time in life, that i often wish i had back.
Can anyone else relate? Does anyone wish he were back?
Edited by Knoxious (12/09/17 03:48 PM)