Wow Marqui, this was exactly my life as well!! Only it was a younger sister who made my life hell and lied to my parents, especially my mother. I will call her "Al." Al was spoiled, selfish, a pathological liar, thief, no empathy for anyone, very troubled. But I was always made to think there was a problem with me, and I tried, and gave, (she is a user and a taker) wondering what is wrong with me? Why can't I make this work? I could not endure any more of the extensive abuse, my mother had no strength or energy to help me against her, and she didn't really want to. so I left home as soon as I could and moved far far away. My mother always tried to talk me into being close with her, and I always got burned trying to appease my mother and have a relationship with my sister - I am absolutely no contact now.
My parents were enablers and also in denial (and image was everything - my mother would have been mortified if anyone outside our immediate family got a whiff of who my sister really was when she was not putting on a public mask), and they felt guilty that they were the reason she was the way she was as they fought a lot (very different personalities). And I was made to feel that I was the problem - I was jealous and crazy.
As far as I can tell my parents were not narcissist or psychopaths, but sweet uneducated economically challenged people their children could take advantage of (I did not as the first born I could not get away with what she did as I am not as manipulative and I have empathy, and maybe they were more lenient with her because of how tougher they were with me and were making amends, I don't know). I believe my paternal grandmother and her father, her sister, and her son (my uncle) were psychopaths. My father may have had a touch of narcissism - people are not cookie cutter and co-morbid, my sister also seems to have covert malignant narcissistic tendencies along with anti-social personality disorder, but really from what I have lived through and experienced my childhood, and researched since 2011, she is a true psychopath.
She never got the help or at least the diagnosis she should have. After years of researching trying to figure it out. I know she is a psychopath - she checks off for all of the characteristics, there is no doubt. I do not use the term lightly, and have only come across a handful of true psychopaths in my life. Reading through all the information available in the last 10 years on the Internet especially YouTube is very validating! I have so many stories and like you it will be very difficult and painful to write them down and live through it again. Just so happy for the validation.
Edited by Raine (06/04/18 12:34 PM)