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#1847 - 10/30/02 10:04 PM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath


>"Today is the first day of the rest of your life". <

> That statement has so much more depth now, doesn't it?<

It sure does. It is hard to believe that it is almost a month ago since all this happened. It seems like I've come so far since then.

>And even the experience with the P was almost like he came to heal me, rather than destroy me. <

I feel that way too. Kris posted on October 18th (I'll have to go find it) something that changed my life forever. The entire post was incredible. But at the end she spoke of trying to figure out which marker led into hell and which one led out.

How that spoke to me was, because of my past, I actually had to get IN the fire to find my way OUT. I'll have to go back and read that. It was really profound. (It was in the post about the unrecognized heart).

You know another thing I read (in my search for answers) was in a John Gray book. I thought of this recently as well. He said, every new relationship we enter into we try to heal old wounds. If the love is strong enough, our old stuff comes up, and love is able to zap and heal those old insecurities.

Just a therory: I wonder, when P starts a new relationship, do you think that's what they are looking for. I mean, WAY DOWN DEEP? But because of their wiring, they just can't make the connection. The whole deal just misfires and then there we go again. What they want and need most. . .is waht they fear.

(((((betrayed)))) thank you. . .

#1848 - 11/14/02 08:30 AM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

I marked the 16 faces of a Psychopath as my favorite. I am new to this site, and I am so very happy I found it. It is so reassuring to know that I am not alone and that others have experienced what I have rather they are associated with a P. spouse, friend, family member, coworker, etc. We have all suffered severely at the hand of the P. The P. I know has destroyed my spirit for friendship and for my career. I am making my way back, but recovery is a long and difficult process, as I still associate with the P. on a very minimal basis. I know anyone that has known a P. understands how hard it is to break free, and rebuild our lifes. Someone on this site said that they have a "no contact policy". That is my goal, and I know with support I will make it. Thank again everybody for being willing to share.

#1849 - 11/14/02 10:37 AM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

Hello betterway and welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you are seeking. Please be careful since you are still in contact.


#1850 - 11/22/02 09:49 AM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

first I would like to say that my heart goes out to everyone that has discovered this information, I want everyone to know that i, myself is in this same situation, everyday i am trying to think of o way to get out of this mess. One problem this is my husband and we have a daughter. i started to confirm this behavior with my husband when i one day went to the book store and stumbled across this book call How to Recognize verbal abuse in a relationship, that book confiemed my theory that this indiviual was trying to use psychology on me, then i got another book called how to defend yourseld against verbal abuser, then i got a book called walking on eggshell about borderline personality disorders. I have learned alot from these three books but the one thing that gets me if you let them know that there actions are not your responsibilities and so forth then that becomes a problem my story can go deeper then this but one thing that i know is that i am going to somehow some way get out of this relationship because this is unhealthy for any individual and for children i have let my whol family and friends that are close to me know because they protray to be one way in front of people but then while alone they are the person that they really are. THE DEVIL LIVING IN HELL! I came across this forum and was stunned but l check this forum every day. Once out we can survive I just have to get out!

#1851 - 11/22/02 02:26 PM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

gsharp1. . .

Glad you are here. . . this place is a sanctuary.


#1852 - 11/22/02 04:19 PM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath
Dianne E. Offline


Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi gsharp1, welcome to the forum. Please stay safe. Have you read Dr. Hare's book yet?


#1853 - 10/13/04 07:21 AM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

Where did you get the information on the explosive psychopath? My sister has had us walking on eggshells for so many years and has ruined every holiday and vacation for everyone b/c of these horrible vicious outbursts. She's presently in jail for homicide.

#1854 - 10/13/04 12:29 PM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath

Hi Outsider,


The most useful information I have found on the psychology of violently abusive individuals is by the published psychiatrist Donald Dutton, he operates out of British Columbia, Canada.

I like the way that you are open to the possibility that your ex-partner, although he hasn't killed anybody, is a P, and that your sister, who you suggest is convicted of homicide, possibly isn't a P.

Do you have any insights into why your sister is the way that she is, what could have lead her to commit homicide, and why you believe she isn't a P?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on these matters.


#13704 - 08/15/12 10:22 AM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath [Re: Anonymous]
laurenksm Offline

Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 5

This post is very eye-opening and puts my ex into catagories that are relevant. I listed the ones that I know he is from most significant, but in saying that, he is each of them near evenly.

He knows who and what he is. When we got back together after being away from each other for 3 months he told me that he will most probably hurt me. He didn't care to understand when I said that by saying he will, he is setting himself up to. I believe he wanted to hurt me.

I started to see someone after being away from him for 2 months (when we broke up) and I believe that that really really annoyed him.

I saw him while on holiday and that's how we ended getting back together. We spent the night together and for half of it he cried and cried and i mean he balled and sobbed! I had never seen a man so upset and thought that he must really truly love me. But even if he did love me he ended up hurting me very badly (of course).

He told me I was a manipulator and a liar. He stated to me that I had manipulated the man I met after him into moving closer to where I was - which was ridiculous. How can you manipulate someone to move their entire life for you? When I got defensive he then said "see! look how you are reacting if you weren't guilty you wouldn't be defensive"... I couldn't believe what I was hearing! He is so lost and sure in his paranoid delusions that he thinks everyone else is the same.

He cheated on everyone of his ex girlfriends with 3-4 DIFFERENT girls and with each girlfriend!

His reasoning was that he had a friend when he was younger that used girls and he thought that he could do it too because he wanted to sleep with girls and couldn't get them (which is a lie because he is very attractive on the outside but probably because he is terribly ugly on the inside).

He told me that he was ready to settle into a monogamous relationship and was prepared to give it everything he had with me and wouldn't cheat. But the whole time together he would message girls that he would claim were just friends but really they were girls that he had slept with and that still liked him. I know now that he liked to string them along because they have never known the real him.

He doesn't have any of his ex's who he is friends with and now i know why - the all ran away scared and damaged - like me. One of his ex's who is a Thai girl who he said used him terribly for his money and apparently she cheated on him a lot, he kind of kept in contact with. When we broke up he went and saw her in another town and they had sex (yep he told me). This was after he declared his undying love for me - 7 days after to be exact. I was devastated and told him to leave me alone for good. 2 months later I saw him on the holiday and we got back together AFTER I broke up with a good guy which I now regret very much.

He genuinely thinks everyone is a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, a backstabber, a thief just as he is.

I also believe that to some degree (which I am not overly sure of) he was grooming me to get to my 11 yr old daughter. He was interested in her daughters sexuality by asking questions about if she knew about sex and masturbation. I told him no not yet. He then asked me if i'd told her what masturbation was. I started to feel uneasy but he started to laugh and said (from memory) "i only ask because when i was a kid i got told it was bad to masturbate so i hardly ever did it and also one of our friends said that when she was young she thought it was a bad thing to do too, so you should tell your daughter about it now so she doesn't feel bad about wanting to do it".

I told him that I will talk to her about it when the time is right and that I don't want to talk to him about it again. He brought it up 2-3 times again later on in the relationship but would make jokes about my sensitivity toward the topic.

After he said this I felt weird about him being near my daughter and when we moved so I could be closer to him and where he was located for work, I put toilet paper in the key whole on the bathroom door. In the back of my mind I didn't think he would do anything but I thought it was terribly strange for him to be concerned about what my daughter might be doing in private.

I am extremely close with my daughter and I know that he never touched her or even near got the chance to as I have asked her about it.
After we had been together for 14 months and just before we broke up, he told me that he was worried that my daughter might get angry at him about something and accuse him of touching her! He said that one of his friends from work had gone to jail because he had been blamed for touching his girlfriends daughter but that he didnít do it and that the daughter was just getting him back for something.
He said that he had head of a lot of kids using this and then regret saying it when the guy goes to jail for it. He said that if that happened to him he would loose it and go crazy for being blamed for something he didnít do!

Also, the same night he told me this we spoke about things that happened to us when we were kids. He told me about him and his cousin 'touching' each other and I told him about when I was 6 a 19 year old male neighbour had put his hands down my underwear and that that had effected me a little bit. Not long after we spoke of this he seemed VERY turned on and we had "passionate" sex. I at the time thought that we had great sex because we had told each other extremely sensitive things that had happened to us while growing up, but now when I look back I am SCARED to think that he was turned on because maybe he was imagining that HE was the one who was doing that to me when I was younger.

All of these things that I have mentioned are very raw to me (as i am sure most of you will understand) and what I find weird is that now that I have discovered what he is (a monster) everything is coming back to me. There are much MUCH more things that he has said and done to me that I haven't mentioned as yet, such as the quotes from serial killers that he said to me while we were out bush walking and alone and how he lay on my stomach while I was in hospital with pancreatitis (caused from extreme stress and not alcoholism - I don't drink).

He is a very very disturbed man but he truly hides it very very well. But I have discovered who he is and I am tossing up whether to tell him that I am aware of what he is and what he was doing to me. I have already called him a narcissist and told him he has no feelings while we were together and when we would fight. I think that that's why he is done with me - because I have already shared my beliefs about him to his face in the past. But I am thinking of bringing up how he would talk to me about my daughters sexuality so that he won't dare try anything with someone elses child. I truly feel that as a mother this is my obligation. Would you agree?

I am actually writing a book about my experience with him because I feel that disassociating myself through writing as a third person will help me to mend.

Thanks for reading and please write me back because I feel very alone and am left with thinkng about his behaviour every night. It's 1:30am and for the past 3 weeks (since discovering) I haven't been able to sleep until at least 2:30am. I hate this!
He is dangerous. You will get physically, mentally and emotionally ill, in and after the relationship.

#16699 - 02/10/16 12:36 PM Re: 16 Faces of a Psychopath [Re: Anonymous]
Hegin Offline

Registered: 02/07/16
Posts: 8
I've just found this extremely useful post.

I am going through medical published research and for methodological reasons, typologies like this are very hard to construct. By reading through research, personal accounts and psychopath published stories, I find that:

1. there is a high degree of overlap between the types

2. the stalker/obsessive psychopath, usually just a facet of some other sub-type, is not listed. The forensic psychiatrist that assisted in my case studied that type. It was his MS thesis, actually.

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