Betrayed-

>"Today is the first day of the rest of your life". <

> That statement has so much more depth now, doesn't it?<

It sure does. It is hard to believe that it is almost a month ago since all this happened. It seems like I've come so far since then.

>And even the experience with the P was almost like he came to heal me, rather than destroy me. <

I feel that way too. Kris posted on October 18th (I'll have to go find it) something that changed my life forever. The entire post was incredible. But at the end she spoke of trying to figure out which marker led into hell and which one led out.

How that spoke to me was, because of my past, I actually had to get IN the fire to find my way OUT. I'll have to go back and read that. It was really profound. (It was in the post about the unrecognized heart).

You know another thing I read (in my search for answers) was in a John Gray book. I thought of this recently as well. He said, every new relationship we enter into we try to heal old wounds. If the love is strong enough, our old stuff comes up, and love is able to zap and heal those old insecurities.

Just a therory: I wonder, when P starts a new relationship, do you think that's what they are looking for. I mean, WAY DOWN DEEP? But because of their wiring, they just can't make the connection. The whole deal just misfires and then there we go again. What they want and need most. . .is waht they fear.

(((((betrayed)))) thank you. . .
finished

Betrayed,
I marked the 16 faces of a Psychopath as my favorite. I am new to this site, and I am so very happy I found it. It is so reassuring to know that I am not alone and that others have experienced what I have rather they are associated with a P. spouse, friend, family member, coworker, etc. We have all suffered severely at the hand of the P. The P. I know has destroyed my spirit for friendship and for my career. I am making my way back, but recovery is a long and difficult process, as I still associate with the P. on a very minimal basis. I know anyone that has known a P. understands how hard it is to break free, and rebuild our lifes. Someone on this site said that they have a "no contact policy". That is my goal, and I know with support I will make it. Thank again everybody for being willing to share.

Hello betterway and welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you are seeking. Please be careful since you are still in contact.

Di

first I would like to say that my heart goes out to everyone that has discovered this information, I want everyone to know that i, myself is in this same situation, everyday i am trying to think of o way to get out of this mess. One problem this is my husband and we have a daughter. i started to confirm this behavior with my husband when i one day went to the book store and stumbled across this book call How to Recognize verbal abuse in a relationship, that book confiemed my theory that this indiviual was trying to use psychology on me, then i got another book called how to defend yourseld against verbal abuser, then i got a book called walking on eggshell about borderline personality disorders. I have learned alot from these three books but the one thing that gets me if you let them know that there actions are not your responsibilities and so forth then that becomes a problem my story can go deeper then this but one thing that i know is that i am going to somehow some way get out of this relationship because this is unhealthy for any individual and for children i have let my whol family and friends that are close to me know because they protray to be one way in front of people but then while alone they are the person that they really are. THE DEVIL LIVING IN HELL! I came across this forum and was stunned but l check this forum every day. Once out we can survive I just have to get out!

gsharp1. . .

Glad you are here. . . this place is a sanctuary.

finished

Hi gsharp1, welcome to the forum. Please stay safe. Have you read Dr. Hare's book yet?

Di

Hi,
Where did you get the information on the explosive psychopath? My sister has had us walking on eggshells for so many years and has ruined every holiday and vacation for everyone b/c of these horrible vicious outbursts. She's presently in jail for homicide.

Hi Outsider,

welcome!

The most useful information I have found on the psychology of violently abusive individuals is by the published psychiatrist Donald Dutton, he operates out of British Columbia, Canada.

I like the way that you are open to the possibility that your ex-partner, although he hasn't killed anybody, is a P, and that your sister, who you suggest is convicted of homicide, possibly isn't a P.

Do you have any insights into why your sister is the way that she is, what could have lead her to commit homicide, and why you believe she isn't a P?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on these matters.

KT