I was involved with an extremely violent and dangerous psychopath. He hid his psychopathy behind a cloak of intellect, deceit, spirituality, wise words, and charismatic charm. By the time I knew something was not right, I loved him. He eventually showed his extreme jealousy, controlling nature, violence, lack of conscience, and web of lies and secrets. The crimes I found out about later. I was conned big time, lost my heart and soul, money, and almost lost my life. It was hell. I have had no contact with this man since shortly after I left. My contact with his family, through his sister, ended some months later. It has been over 2 years now. I am in recovery and have made great progress.

This past weekend, unexpectedly, his sister contacted me. She told me another desparate woman, his latest victim, was isolated, alone, scared and wanted to flee from him. She moved here from far away, and lost everything. She is a former wealthy woman, and is now penniless, hungry, brainwashed and terrified. She can hardly speak or think or reason. She has lived isolated from friends and family, under his control for months. She is now even in trouble with the law for the things he has made her do. She is totally brainwashed with her life in a shambles.

I was part of a rescue effort this past weekend to help this woman. She lived in hiding at my home for days. We sought help through a woman center, shelter, legal services, and police. We (myself and his ex wife who had helped me recover from my own experience with him)shared with this new victim for hours, and listened to her despair. We shared our stories and horror. They were the same stories as her own. She took it in, confused, desparate, yet still in love with this man. Just like I was too.

This woman, last night, decided to return to the Psychopath. My heart breaks for her. I am not sure she will make it out alive. Through this all I have realized how much better I am. It is a bittersweet feeling right now.

This is serious stuff folks. I wish we could educated more women (and men) as to the danger of these monsters.

neverthesame Be careful, now that this women is going back she will undoubtedly blab about your help. I would suggest that it is not prudent to help her further, other than phone # referrals the next time she leaves him (cause he will know where to go hunting for her).

Di

((((((neverthesame)))))

You wrote:

"Through this all I have realized how much better I am. It is a bittersweet feeling right now."

Really, I have no words that are adequate to tell you how kind and brave you are. I have no doubt that you have helped this woman immeasurably even though she went back to the psychopath. I can read in your words that there was also a gift of healing in this for you as well; some liberation.

Please take good care of yourself.

Cherie

(((neverthesame)))

Another hug for you.

Your story stands as a testimony to the "gifts" we speak of that may be birthed through these most horrible experiences of our lives. It is not suffering for nothing. It is suffering for something. Eventually, there comes a time when we have something to give, something which no one else could give, nor could we, had it not been for what we had suffered.

I understand what Cherie meant, when she referred to something healing, in this event, for you. It is healing to experience that our suffering was not for nothing, that we can serve another's need in a very meaningful way, and in this, we recognize the gift that has been borne out of our darkest hour.

Like Dianne, I am concerned for your safety. While I understand your need to transcend fear, in order to take a positive action. It is liberating. I guess I want to say, I applaud your bravery, and at the same time, be careful. I know you are aware of the delicate balance.

Yes, so much educating needs to be done.

kris

WOW! ((((((((neverthesame))))))))

Neverthesame-

You story touched my heart. I will be praying for your safety and protection. You are a testimony to me that hopefully I can share with others in the future that there is help and hope available. God Bless you Neverthesame, you did an awesome thing.

And your grim reminder, these are dangereous, dangereous people. Indeed, monsters.

Yes. . .this IS serious stuff.

Be aware of your surroundings!
I'll be praying for you. . .
finished

Thank you all for your support and concern for my safety. I so appreciate your feedback. I'd to share with all of you another realization that I've had since this latest experience with Psychopath's victim.

For a long time I was scared of my psychopath. He had found out early on where my new home was located. I fortified my home with dead bolts, new doors, better windows, and cut down trees so there would be more visibility. His ex wife and I spoke often and shared some times of heightened security, wariness and fear. We supported each other and grew stronger. In the last year I have been much less afraid, except during those moments when I have ripples of PTSD for a little while.

I'm in a new frame of mind now. I'm mad. Really mad. I'm tired of him victimizing others. This guy should have been locked up long ago. Instead he is creating havoc, misery, and terrible pain for others.

When I was at the women's center, we tried to get through to this woman who is so brainwashed. When I told these counselors that her abuser is a Psychopath, their attitude became much more serious. They know about sociopaths there. They intensely counseled this woman for hours.

During this time, I went through a major shift inside. I am no longer going to live in fear, not acting because he might hurt me. I am going to be vigilant, prudent, and responsible, but I AM going to speak and act to help others and to start to educate, when appropriate, about these subhumans. I am no longer a victim. I am an angry survivor who has had ENOUGH. When this woman is ready to leave him, I will help her if I can. I WILL be involved in putting this man away. I am going to stay empowered....and careful too.

Smiling at all of you...

Neverthesame AKA "The Psychopath Hater"

neverthesame,

You wrote:

I'm in a new frame of mind now. I'm mad. Really mad."

and also:

"I am no longer a victim. I am an angry survivor who has had ENOUGH."

Healthy anger and outrage. About 7 months ago I wrote this and read it to a support group I was involved with after cutting off from the psychpath. I'm not in this same place right now. But I remember and saved this. I will post it here in validation of your empowering anger!

"HOW DARE YOU----YOU MORONIC ASS-----It never stops---one crappy assault after another---just sucking energy---I am so ANGRY that you suck my goodness, and use everything for yourself....Your LIES, your CHEATING, your blaming me for being hurt---making me feel stupid and blindsided----while you were enjoying it.

You made me feel like an outsider---I think you are an ugly power and control freak---you squelched my growth---you stood in my way like a big obstacle and I CAN'T STAND YOU anymore---I don't think I will ever speak to you again

I lost myself because you constantly abandoned me when I needed you----Insulted me when I needed praise, were cold when I needed warmth-----How I felt it was my fault because you publicly fooled the outside world---while our precious children watched me cry and flounder and get sick---

Every time I try to get up--you're standing over me--threatening me with loss---loss of money, loss of love, loss of my own power-----I NOW DESPISE YOU

I never wanted the negativity---You didn't let me get away---but now I am and I will NEVER be your friend----You'd better stay the hell away from me because NOW YOU AE MY ENEMY and I will stand in front of you and I will do what it takes because NOW I"M ANGY----NOW I HAVE HATE----YOU got me there and my anger will make me STRONG and now YOU ARE THE TARGET!!!!"

WHEW!!!! I needed that anger to keep me from engaging with the psychopath. To protect my wounded vulnerability.

Like I said in the beginning of the post; I'm no longer in that same place. But that anger served me at the time I needed it.

I think you are great!

Cherie

Neverthesame-

> I went through a major shift inside. I am no longer going to live in fear, not acting because he might hurt me. I am going to be vigilant, prudent, and responsible, but I AM going to speak and act to help others and to start to educate, when appropriate, about these subhumans. I am no longer a victim.<

I am so with you. I have some to go to total healing, but I agree. Once we are on our way out we have a responsility to tell others. I think this insidiousness is on the rise. (9/11) The P's are coming out of the closest. There are those that need to be told what they are dealing with.

I think you have created a new mantra for me.

I admire your courage, neverthesame. I believe you are going to make a difference in a lot of others lives.

finished

Cherie,

Yes, absolutely!

I just want to say...getting angry....or rather, giving a life to the anger that has come to be...is a necessary part of reclaiming our souls. That anger came about, originally, as a result of many small (and large) deaths to our souls.

Those of us who remained in those spiritually killing circumstances for long periods of our lives (and also those who experienced a profound, time-condensed version of the same thing) need to ignite the pooled and poisoned death-imparting emotion into something alive, and something that can give life.

It is not so pretty, but it is real. Just like us. We are not so pretty. But we are real.

That makes us beautiful, by the way.

kris