Hi Everyone,
Just thought to update you all on the P goings on in this neck of the woods.

The recording studio still stands behind me. I have since talked with the engineer at length, and he admitted to me that it would take him 48 hours to recover after a recording session with P. The poor guy is now living with pepper spray by his door, on the off chance P comes around.

As it happened, I intercepted the letter from the studio to P. I received the Pink certified mail slip in my mailbox yesterday. Apparently P had his mail sent back to the PO near his bus, but this letter didn't make it to him. I think the universe is looking out for me on this one. I am not saying a word about it to anyone. I want that CD mixed, mastered, and packaged before P gets wind of anything.

Meanwhile P came by my house last Monday, looking for incidentals he laft here, like his razor, and Scrabble game. He said that we were "done". I asked about the money he owed me. He says he'll think about it when he fixes his truck. (That will never happen, nor will he pay me back, I know...) I did not let him in my house. I gathered his stuff, and put it on my front porch while he waited by the back door. he took it and left without a word.

Then he called and left a message on my voice mail this past Wednesday, mentioning two other things he realized he had here - a microphone, and some 1990s videos of him performing. He asked if he should come over to pick them up, or if I wanted to call him back with a time. He ended the call with, "I hope you are doing well". I looked like coyote scat when he came by on Monday. Was that a barb? A little nicety? I have no idea. I did not return his call, and he has not contacted me since. Nor is he getting the items he requested. They are my hostages. Instead I put some garbage in a brown paper bag, topped by some old shoes of his, and left it outside my yard, in the drive-up in front of my house.

I have twinges of sadness, but now I am more in the anger phase of grief. No contact is the best way to deal with P. I am afraid that if he comes over here and tries to sweet talk me, it will set me back emotionally, even though I have no intention of letting him move back in with me.

It seems that many Ps do try to make a come back, but I am thinking that my P is gone for good, although I do not think he has found a replacement for me yet. I saw him yesterday while driving by a phone booth (he did not see me). He was wearing a pointy wool cap pulled down over his ears, and he looked like one of the esteemed "doctors" from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. Most definitely not in "new target" mode.

I have already found another singing partner, even though it means learning all new material while my brain feels like a scrambled egg. I am also going out dancing as often as possible, and reconnecting with all my old acquaintances. It has been a hellish three weeks, yet I do feel a lot better than I did. Perhaps ther eis life after P. I feel as if I am coming out from under a very dark magic spell.

Hi Senihele, thanks for the update. I wish you the success that you deserve. One door closes and another opens. I hope he won't return, however with a Psychopath that is a tricky one to figure out.

Di

Senihele

Ditto Diannes comments. You deserve the best. I have always enjoyed your posting. . .you have the ability to create some great visuals with words. Two I'll never forget. Creation/Beauty/Destruction/Isolation etc.and the comparison to the computer. That really helped me grasp the difference in their 'wiring".

>>Perhaps ther eis life after P. I feel as if I am coming out from under a very dark magic spell. <<

I'm right there with you Senihele. It has taken awhile but I'm coming "out of it". . .
finished

I was wrong. P came over here this morning. He took the junk I left for him in my driveway, then banged on the door. I didn't answer at first. Then I opened the door but kept the security door closed. He was brandishing a list of the things he was still missing.

He had the unmitigated gall to say: "Is that what friends do, leave stuff in the driveway? If we can't be friends now, we can never be friends."

I said, "You were never my friend. You don't know how to be friends."

He said, "Why didn't you just call me back?" I said, "You said we are done, so we are done. I tend to reciprocate in like kind."

Then he said, "You have no right to be mad just because someone doesn't live up to your expectations."

@!$%&!!! Can you imagine? The [censored] apparently doesn't know the difference between expectations and commitments. I said, "Good-bye, P." Waved at him, and slammed the door in his face.

Friends??!!! Meanwhile, the P doesn't know that I know he has tried to get my vocal tracks off that CD. Some friend. Comes to my door, unannounced, brandishing a list. No "let's talk", no "how are you?", and I am supposed to be friendly??? @!$%&*

So what is P up to now, with the "friends" thing? Testing the waters to see if he could get his foot back in the door? I have been in a snit all day. Just seeing him wells up all kinds of emotions, though at this point mostly anger. He's lucky I have some modicum of self-control; honestly, I felt like shooting him where he stood.

Senihele,

You did right! It is all pseudo for them, pseudo friendship, pseudo love, pseudo understanding of others, like you all said, they are wired differently. I wish the best and that won't come back. You did right. My P too, was hoping for me to react nicely after he had humiliated me in the worst way. Good for you! You must feel angry but at the same time proud of yourself to have ended it.

Senihele

>>So what is P up to now, with the "friends" thing? Testing the waters to see if he could get his foot back in the door?

It sounds like bait to me. Does that sound that way to you too??

finished

Yeah. I mean, he could just as easily leave a message on my voice mail naming the things he wants, and have me send them to him by mail. The "friends" thing really got to me. What a snake in the grass. I am guessing he will be back too. I want him to spew some sweet talk my way. Then I will tell him to go to hell yet again.

O Senihele!
i love dancing i go at least 3 times a week
it has been a very good therapy for me
i am so glad for you that finally you are putting your foot down

i just finish reading the book of Ike Turner
he sure sounds like a p
i read Tina Turner's book
and i wanted to see how Ike was going to denying his action toward her
well his explanation sounds like my ex-p or should i say sounds like all the p's out there

progress is in the air
there is hope
even though sometime it feels so dark inside

freedom

it is so quiet in my head
p hasn't called
it is like nothing ever happened with him
it was all a dream

but the lady called me
trying to scare me telling me she has family in the mafia
she sounded like p when he would talk like that
she wanted to know if i heard from p
he mmust still be in rehab
and if i drove in her car
which i would never do knowing it is not p's car
i was nice to her
and she finally talk nicer to me
but i really do not trust her
she might cause me trouble like he does
being bi-polar (she mentioned it)
maybe i should not answer her call anymore

i hope everyone is doing well

freedom

Senihele talking of dancing my favorite song is by Keb Mo
"She just wants to dance"

Well so much for the quiet time in my head
a lady friend i talk to everyday
and p knows that (she had to call the police on him more than once) got a surprise visit and a call from p today using the lady's cell phone (the one who was calling me)
and telling my friend that he had to let me go and he was happy with his new girlfriend.
Now why did he had to call her when he knows she doesn't want to have anything to do with him.
She was surprise.
Well i am not
he wanted me to know that he was out of rehab.
I know he is happy he's got transportation and the lady's phone.

I will keep my head up and reject all these mental thoughts
i wish i would have never met him
i pray to God i will get strong
i pray to God we will all be strong
there is life out there for us to live without fear

freedom