i can not figure out how to start a new thread so thought i would post here.
question is: 2 years ago i was introduced to a man. i am divorced with two children, now 15 and 17. this man claimed to be english, (i am english)he said he worked for a boroadcast company. that he was bureau chief and foriegn correspondent. he is on the boards of several organisations. according to him his parents lived in england but had bought a house in usa to be near grandchildren. they also bought one in fla for the winter. he said he had only been in the usa for 8 years.
well, we got on really well. he had no money as he was paying child support and alimony - so he said. he claimed to have gone to school at one of england's finest boy's boarding schools. he does have a very posh english accent. also wherever he goes he's greeted with great respect. he teaches a class at a well known university. he's invited to embassies, we have travelled a lot always going first class, the best hotels, restaurants, all for free. i never thought for one moment that he was a con man or p. he moved in with me and my children after telling me his office wanted to return him to london. but he wanted to stay here to be with me. well ........ after living together i discovered all the lies! he's not english, he's american. he's not christian but jewish. he's unemployed except for his one class he teaches. his so called broadcast company is fictious. all in all he lies cheats cons everyone to get what he wants from trips to meals etc. he's never offered to buy as much as a pint of milk. at first he was supportive of my son's but now he'd be happy for me to send them away. he barely talks to my younger son. his parents are american and have always lived here.
whenever i ask him for answers he tells me a different answer each time. i contacted his ex wife because i needed some idea of the truth. she was very nice and talked with me and was concerned for my safety. she said he culitvated his english accent over years. he did life in england for 4 years when he went to university to take a phd. he is highly educated.
he's obviously a pathological liar and has identity rejection. he claims he will turn over a new leaf when he has a job. he is applying for several jobs in england because he feels that that's his home. he doesn't seem to understand that lying has consequences. he's under the impression that he can just change his story and no one will mind he lied to them. he steals. will take things because he wants them. never worries about how the bills are paid.
it has been very hard for me. i am in shock. he can be so tender, affectionate, caring. he doesn't hear when i tell him this is over. he becomes withdrawn, cold isolating. makes
me feel i am the bad one. i try to be nice only to find i'm drawn back into a "relationship"with him. there is emotional infidelity.
he has a summer job in england and is leaving in 2 weeks. i have told him i'm not joining him and i don't want him back. he doesn't hear. he has become attentive, affec etc. the list is long in all that he does that seems anti-social. he said he will change for me. but how can i trust him? he's done nothing to prove this. i asked him to give up his broadcast company. he said he will in sept i have found out that he's opened a new domain name to use while in england this summer. he claims to be a war correspondend and that he goes to iraq. he has never been to iraq. he has dragged me into his delusions. i have gone willingly i guess.
i have decided to wait till he's left and clear his things out into storage. what else can i do if he won't listen? he has no money and nowhere to stay so he needs me.
sorry this is so long but i have no one to talk with as all my friends think he's charming and i'm so lucky!
please help! so, so many lies!
thank you
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