Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one who, despite everything, misses him? I must be some kind of sick masochist.

Hi KM56

I think missing him is perfectly normal. I get around it by telling myself that the P I loved was no more real than a TV character. Great character, brilliant acting - but doesn't exist in real life. And the real P bore no more resemblance to the character I loved than the average actor bears to the part he plays for the audience.

So long as you are not tempted to go back, you'll be fine.

Regards

Thanks, Ali.

I know that's true. And when I'm feeling good, I don't miss him at all. But I'm a moody sort, and when I'm down, I think about him. I'll try to think about it in the terms you've put it.

I know I can't go back. Thank you for telling me I'm not alone.

We all feel like but remember that it wasn't a real person - it was a reflection of what we wanted in devil's clothing.

We all deserve so much better than that - don't forget that.

Do you really want that lying cheat back? Do you want to waste anymore or your precious time?

best wishes Mark

He left a message online; not specifically for me, but I'm sure he knew I'd see it:

"It wasnt the end that was cause for concern, He had been through worse, It was the wait, The long agonising wait for something, anything to end the drawn out monotony of existance in a world of whispers and dark thoughts"

At first this disturbed me, my hands were actually shaking. Then I reread it and realized what it meant: he's bored.

But I'm *not* "something, anything." I'm not a thing at all. I'm a human being. I wonder if he ever knew that, or cared.

Just realized: you might wonder why he's talking about himself in the third person, if indeed, that's what he's doing, who knows. He did that sometimes. Claimed an alter. I talked about that in another post.

Hi KM56

But the words tie in with the P profile - they need the buzz of finding a new victim - of stringing everyone along etc, the normality of life is poison to them. So take heart - it is proof that you are better out of it and getting on with a real, caring life.

bye

REcovery

Hi Recovery:

You're right. It's funny, even now it didn't occur to me that those words might be bait for someone other than me. But they're there for others to see. And yes, "the normality of life is poison to them." So true.

"So take heart - it is proof that you are better out of it and getting on with a real, caring life."
Thanks, Recovery. It's hard to stop caring about this person, even though I tell other ppl here to not waste their time on the P's in their life. I know the truth, hard to apply it to myself. But I am trying. And having you guys here *really* helps.

Hi KM56

I hope these little notes do help - I know I got a lot of help from the 'oldtimers' when I first started to post here.

I hope some of them are still reading if not posting but maybe it is a good sign that they have recovered and moved on. I hope that, at least, they too are P free.

you can be too - and I think you will love being P free!

byee

Recovery