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#3345 - 05/19/06 12:51 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: Mati]
stunnedhun23 Offline
member

Registered: 06/19/05
Posts: 96
Hi there {{{{{{{ Mati }}}}}}},

So good to hear from you!!! Your news brought a smile and renewed hope, I am so very glad to hear things are looking brighter for you. It's terrific that you have found kindred souls who share your faith to help lift you up and out of misery. The internet is a terrific tool for finding hope.

I am thrilled to hear of your trip, I for one think it is a great way to officially make a fresh start at life for yourself. Good for you to reach out and take a positive step towards changing your health, life and lifting your spirits. While just now you may not feel up to it, I bet with time as you look forward to it, you will find the inner strength to go. I know for me personally just having something to look forward to can make a huge difference in my perception of life. It's an added bonus that the group focuses on health in a wholistic manner, I am sure you will learn a lot that will help you going foward. It is refreshing to hear that you found some support like that for free... there are good kind souls out there, we just need to detach from the P's to find them.

I think your attitude about your sons is a healthy one Mati, just as we ourselves were enmeshed in denial for a time, they will have to find the truth out for themselves in their own manner. They may never understand all that has transpired from your perspective, but as long as you remain open to them returning to your life when they are ready you have done all that a mother in your shoes can do. The one thing all of this has taught me is that things happen in God's time, not ours, and learning to accept our powerlessness over a P is a true lesson in growth. Some of us learn fast, some slow, some perhaps never at all. Clearly you have learned to be your own champion, it warmed my heart to hear of your new found strength, hope and determination, and if you listen real close you can hear me cheering you on from across the big pond.

I am happy to report I have FINALLY reclaimed my sleep cycle after a long battle with exhaustion and insomnia. For an entire week now I am sleeping good, have been waking feeling refreshed, and am even dreaming again for the first time in many, many monthes. This will serve me well in the battle against depression and to help get and stay out of an RA flare. I am feeling a lot more emotionally stable these past few days and like you have been engrossed in reading up on nutrition in an attempt to help myself live a better life. The P's take a terrible toll on our bodies, but we CAN find better health with a little work, determination and most of all hope.

Thanks so much for sharing your news... please keep us posted on how you are doing. Your triumph is uplifting to all... I know I gather strength and hope from reading how you and others here are are carving out better lives, one day at a time.

Keep up the good fight Mati, and know myself and others are here celebrating every success with you. Take care & God bless and keep you...

Love & hugs,

SFH23

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#3346 - 05/21/06 06:49 AM Re: General Discussion - [Re: stunnedhun23]
Mati Offline
member

Registered: 08/01/04
Posts: 169
(((((hun)))))

I am very pleased indeed to hear that you are sleeping better and even dreaming. That is a great sign! Nothing is worse than losing sleep. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear good news for you too. You are really on the way up now. And good to hear that you too are taking control and improving your health. When things like this happen, I think that the battle is well on its way to being won. It has taken me two years to get my diet into a healthy mode, which will make a big difference to me I know. I am reading up on a nearly raw diet at the moment. I am going through detox so feel bad some days but it feels good inside instead of feeling rough. The sauna is helping a lot and really gets things moving.

Yes that is so great that the place I am going to in 2 weeks, are into healthy and simple living. It is just perfect and from God I know that I found it just at the right time. I spoke to one of the people who run it and she is going to run some tests on me to find out any mineral dificiencies.

Yes it is a fresh start and it all seems to be pulling together as far as help is concerned coming at the right time. You are right that we need something to look forward to. I think that accepting the situation we are in and trusting God to change it has been the key for me. I was so full of plans when I first left, but it was unrealistic and I was in denial if I thought that recovery could be so simple. I had gone down the pan such a long way that it was going to be a long slow haul back up, but I feel well on the way now.

It is remarkable in this day and age to find somewhere where you can be helped and not get charged for it, even in Christian circles. They say that they do not even ask anyone what their problems are or get them to talk about them, they only want to show love which is remarkable again I think. So many people want to 'counsel' you and a lot of it is unhealthy I think.

Well I even got an amazing bargain flight so that it will actually be cheaper to go than to stay at home! Again from God I think.I really had my faith tested though for the last two years but things have changed and there is hope now.

Thanks for your encouragment and for cheering me across the pond! I am here doing the same thing for you too hun. Let me know too how you are doing please.

Mati
xxx

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#3347 - 06/15/06 03:38 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: Mati]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
I was just wondering today, that if it's not okay to incite hate against certain groups (gays etc.), why should it be acceptable to incite hate against anyone the way Ps do, spreading false and malicious rumors, destroying their personal and business reputations, trying to discredit and isolate their target(s) and make them vulnerable so that they can be abused some more. It is well documented that this sort of psychological violence severely affects victims and the damage can be as painful and long-lasting as physical abuse.

Maybe, I should spend time trying to concoct some P repellant.

Sylvie

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#3348 - 06/15/06 06:18 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: sylvie25]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
I've set a deadline for myself to accomplish certain professional/business goals and it occurred to me that I should take the same approach towards doing my little bit to increase awareness of psychopathy and its devastating effects on pretty much everyone and everything that it touches.

I've been meaning to write letters to certain influential, public people and it keeps getting put off because I'm still stuck in "dealing with P fallout" mode.

I actually think with all the new interest in creating social value etc., there's hope in this area.

Hope everyone is doing alright.

Sylvie

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#3349 - 06/16/06 01:23 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: sylvie25]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Sylvie, you are so right. The common image of a Psychopath is along the lines of The Green River Killer or Bundy. If they say the general population has 1 - 3% Psychopaths, which frankly I would have to guess this number as much higher. They are like a germ that keeps on going, finding more and more victims and spreading their evil ways.

I am sorry to hear you having to deal with P fallout.

Di

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#3350 - 06/17/06 12:32 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: Dianne E.]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
Thanks Di.

Yup, I think the number is WAY higher than that when one considers that there are people with "psychopathic features" (Hare's term) who can do loads of damage without being full-blown Ps. That would explain why they seem to be everywhere.

Sylvie

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#3351 - 06/17/06 02:06 PM Re: General Discussion - [Re: sylvie25]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi Sylvie, I have only run across a couple of papers on "psychopathic features" (Hare's term). I think they called them partial Psychopaths. I have my radar button on, lol.

Di

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#3352 - 06/20/06 09:31 AM Re: General Discussion - [Re: Dianne E.]
kwindish Offline


Registered: 04/01/05
Posts: 30
On general discussion part one, page 39, I read that Anonymous was looking for a way to leave her P. While it is true that every situation is different, there is some general help available. Read this page on the loser and towards the bottom are some ideas on how to leave.

http://www.drjoecarver.com/loser.html
_________________________
Moss grows fat on a rolling stone!

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#3353 - 06/20/06 06:23 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: Nan]
JustAMan Offline
member

Registered: 09/04/04
Posts: 186
Some BIG RED letters in a nice script typeface

and a picture I took in the Scottish highlands last summer



...just testing

HTML is go!

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#3354 - 06/21/06 04:57 AM Re: General Discussion - [Re: Dianne E.]
JustAMan Offline
member

Registered: 09/04/04
Posts: 186
In reply to:

Hi Sylvie, I have only run across a couple of papers on "psychopathic features" (Hare's term). I think they called them partial Psychopaths. I have my radar button on, lol.


I think the more common term used by most therapists is 'psychopathic tendencies' ie one or more prsonality or lifestyle traits which correspond in whole or part to one of the 20 diagnostic descriptions in the Hare checklist.

Nobody's perfect, and I think most men will score at least a few points, exhibit a few psychopathic tendencies to a greater or lesser extent (except a genuine saint!) Hare I seem to remember scores himself at 3 to 4 on his own checklist. I score myself a bit higher than that ( 5 to 7 ). Anybody on the 10 to 20 range, I would probably would want to avoid being friends with..

20-30 the 'partial psychopath'?

and as we know, 30-40 earns the full psychopath diagnosis in North America. (25 - 40 in the UK Prison Service)

The important thing to remember is that psychopathy is a continuum, and the labels are a convenience, not absolutes.

The degree of emotional dysfunction (flattened or absent emotional response - the root of psychopathy) which results in the traits we call psychopathic can vary from person to person.

I dont regard psychopathy as an absolute either/or thing like Downs syndrome, which you you either have or do not have - being due to the accidental doubling up of a chromosome. I think there are degrees of psychopathy, as with many conditions, (I have a friend who I suspect is mildly schizophrenic - but not so afflicted as to be dysfunctional in society - he just comes over as a bit weird now and then!) and some psychopaths have a worse effect on society than others.


Edited by JustAMan (06/21/06 06:56 AM)

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