Page 19 of 24 < 1 2 ... 17 18 19 20 21 23 24 >
Topic Options
#3395 - 08/08/06 02:14 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: neverthesame]
mia-issima Offline
member

Registered: 06/26/06
Posts: 7
hi neverthesame,

your "Sad, pathetic, jealous people, p's are" rings a bell with me.

The P that chased me reproached me for being "jealous", "full of anger" and "envious".

I could relate to him perceiving me as "full of anger" and "envious", due to his having spotted my weakest point to get something to torture me with.

But being reproached for being "jealous" by someone I'm not even involved with struck me as really completely foolish. I mean even if I were, I didn't have the slightest right to be and didn't even ask for anything that could possibly make someone jealous, were they inclined to.

He said that to me in a - for him - rather emotional moment (I presume) when I answered to something that he didn't expect me to.

So I have this theoretical thought as to why people become Ps:

Maybe their mothers didn't mirror their behaviours when they were toddlers, thus not helping them to attach the appropriate word (semantic meaning) to some experienced feeling, feeling used here both as emotional and bodily feeling.

What I'm trying to say is, maybe their mother was competent to teach them the meaning of "my tummy aches", but not the meaning of "I'm sad" for example.

Does this make any sense in the experts' eyes?

Top
#3396 - 08/08/06 02:33 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: neverthesame]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
Hi neverthesame,

I recall you mentioning that. Whether they're socially adept Ps or not, they're all lowlifes, point blank. I wonder with all the people affected by Ps, sometimes more than once, surely there will be a tipping point some day when society has had enough and feels threatened to the extent that something is finally done.

"Your" Ps sound like they had their tag team approach down pat.

Sylvie

Top
#3397 - 08/08/06 06:16 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: mia-issima]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi mia-issima, This is the nature vs. nurture discussion. Personally I weigh in on the nature side of things. I don't think people "become" a Psychopath but are born one. One theory I do agree with a more nurtured Psychopath will become a socialized Psychopath and run a company vs. ending up in prison if they are a less socialized one. My guess is Psychopaths can tend to project onto others things which in reality are things they do. For example, claiming to be loyal and saying having affairs is a terrible thing while all the time they are cheating with anything walking with a wallet.

Jmo,

Di

P.S. I lost the post but there was an original neverthesame who is now going by neverthesame1, just so no one is confused.

Top
#3398 - 08/19/06 12:34 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: Dianne E.]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
It seems like every single day, we turn on the TV and see stories that essentially involve P personalities. Whether it's the latest fat cat Corporate P, some wild-eyed dictator threatening death and destruction, some woman-hating serial killer....on and on. Yet no-one officially connects the dots....the unlikely silence on their rampage continues.

Just this past week, I've seen at least three programs like 48 hours featuring a story clearly involving a psychopath. The Shannon Melendi story for instance. That on top of the news.

It will come to the fore one day, because good people will finally make it so. Ps will receive official recognition for the blight on civilization that they are.

Sylvie

Top
#3399 - 09/17/06 06:09 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: sylvie25]
sylvie25 Offline
member

Registered: 08/13/04
Posts: 325
I've been wondering whether people who suspect they have P relatives are more inclined to keep quiet about both their suspicions and that they are being victimized because they are too ashamed to mention that publicly. I have to think that's the case (maybe it's a no-brainer...). Even more so if the Ps are involved in criminal activity.

To carry other people's shame must surely be one of the most damaging things one can do to themself.

Another thought is that it's funny how many of us don't tell certain friends/colleagues etc. about our involvement with Ps I guess partly for fear that we might be rejected or considered weak etc. In a way, perhaps that's exactly what should be done (at least with friends/family) - what better way to screen out the superficial types.

Top
#3400 - 11/06/06 08:29 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: Dianne E.]
movingon Offline
member

Registered: 11/06/06
Posts: 4
I am new to this forum and find it very helpful and am very greatful that it exists. I wanted to find out if anyone has had the experience of their P compartmentalizing his/her friends.

My P did not let me come in contact with his other friends or family members. He is a social animal and seems to know everyone. He always spoke of his friends as that's "my boy" or that's "my girl", as if he and this person were very close. I had assumed that he had a multitude of extremely close friends. As time progressed I began to realize that these were very shallow friendships, and seemed more like aquaintances.

The one thing that struck me very oddly was that he conveniently excluded me from certain aspects of his life. Whenever any of his family members would come to town, I am omitted from the group. Also, he and I were just friends and spent an abundant amount of time together, yet when he would get together with his friends he would again exclude me from situation.

He is very clandestine and it seems as if he is very adept at making sure that the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Top
#3401 - 11/06/06 09:42 PM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: movingon]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi movingon, welcome to the forum. What first came to me is that the reason he would exclude the family if he is working several different targets. Or maybe he is afraid someone in the family who is wise to him might say something to whoever he brings around as a date. Or he says he is going to visit the family and does something entirely different. If I were to take a guess the visiting the family time could very well be just a cover for another activity.

Di

Top
#3402 - 11/07/06 04:37 AM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: Dianne E.]
movingon Offline
member

Registered: 11/06/06
Posts: 4
Thanks for responding. To further my first post, his girlfriend and I were pretty good friends. He and I were in business together and as time went on, he started doing things like scheduling lunch with me and then change plans w/o letting me know, continually making excuses as to why he couldn't make sales calls, etc.

The last straw was that he told me he was going to run a quick errand and he came back 3 1/2 hours later. He came in as I was getting ready to leave. I asked him for future reference that if he were going to be gone for an indiscriminate amt. of time, please let me know. He exploded. It was none of my business where he was, blah, blah, blah. I didn't care where, what, etc. I just didn't want to be stuck, expecting him to return and him never coming back. He was so angry that I didn't even have to be in the argument. He starting arguing in circles and was VERY HATEFUL.

To give further information, my background is in psychology. He and I have had intense discussions regarding his background, etc. He grew up in a extremely difficult situation. When he and I were in business together, I interacted with some of his friends, but very rarely. I was never invited out socially with them. I did social things with him, or him and his girlfriend, but no one else. Still, never the family. One weird thing is that I had to call his sister about something one day, and I asked him if she would know who I was. He told me to just identify myself as his friend and she might recognize the name. When I spoke to her, she knew all about me.

His girlfriend and I were very close. I realized that he had antisocial characteristics, but wasn't ready to see the full blown picture. She and I would have lengthy discussions about his behavior. He was very emotionally and verbally cruel to her, but never to me. He was actually pretty decent towards me. I'm sure it was even worse than what she would admit to. The last she and I talked, her self esteem had digressed to the point that she couldn't even look in the mirror.

Anyway...after our fight, he and I made up to an extent. We have had a few lunches together, but his girlfriend won't even speak to me. She completely ignores my calls. I quit trying. I asked him if he knew why she wouldn't speak to me, but he said that he didn't.

I don't really know where I am going with this, but I think that I needed to put it in writing. Also, do you think that he made her cut off conversation with me?

When we see each other now, we always meet somewhere. I've not seen any of his friends since our fight. I wonder if any of his friends know that we speak.

Thanks for letting me ramble on!

Top
#3403 - 11/07/06 08:58 AM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: movingon]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2789
Loc: United States
Hi movingon,

In reply to:

Also, do you think that he made her cut off conversation with me?




I would venture to say yes. That seems to be the pattern of abusers, they cut off the victim from friends and family.

When he was being as you describe VERY HATEFUL, what did you see in his eyes?

I would agree that your friend is probably taking more abuse than she is giving out. I think in a victim's mind somehow we all move into a state of denial.

Did I understand that you are no longer in business with him?

Di

Top
#3404 - 11/07/06 10:24 AM Re: General Discussion - Part Three [Re: movingon]
Deb Offline
member

Registered: 02/25/06
Posts: 85
Hello movingon,

P's do keep the people in their lives VERY separate from each other. After all, it just would not do to have folks comparing notes, would it? You say that you and he spent a lot of time discussing his past and how he grew up in an "extremely difficult situation". The family members who he is keeping from interacting with you probably have the ability to confirm or deny that experience. If he has fabricated or embellished on this 'extremely difficult situation', he sure doesn't want you to find out. Do you have verification from ANYONE besides him as to what his childhood was really like?

A few well-placed lies would easily stop his girlfriend from talking with you. The conversations the two of you had were too beneficial for BOTH of you and he had to put an end to that. What if by talking with you, she was able to see what a bad place she was in? What if by talking to her, you were able to see even sooner what kind of person he REALLY is? Since P's are terribly afraid of the truth being known, I am sure he did something to end the talking.

You gave me a stroll down memory lane when you talked about him exploding on you and then arguing in circles. Wow, been there. It's amazing to watch the reaction of a P when confronted with the possibility of having to take ANY responsibility for their actions. And you just wanted him to be responsible enough to let you know that he was running late. That's all ~~ no biggie, and yet KABOOM!

Well, there's my two cents....guess I will go and finish my memory lane trip ~~ perhaps there is some unfinished business back there.

Best regards,
Deb

Top
Page 19 of 24 < 1 2 ... 17 18 19 20 21 23 24 >

Moderator:  Dianne E.