Hi, this is my first post. I am too worn down right now to go into over forty years of what my psychopathic sister has wrought upon myself and my family. Back in the early 80's, before the word psychopath was as frequently used among the general public, I remember reading the description of one in a book on abnormal psychology, and thinking "that's her!"
I recently decided to cut off all relations with her. My husband has wanted me to do for 15 years. This time it is my choice due to an unbelievable stunt she pulled, with me as her target as usual, leaving me out of $10,000+ dollars.
How, you ask? Without going into details right now, she is extremely charming (superficially), able to set anyone at ease, very likable (if you really don't know her), articulate, was a beauty in her day, is still attractive for her age, very persuasive, has no conscience, feels no remorse, and has succeeded in convincing most of my siblings except one that *I* am the one who has always harmed her.
There is only one of my siblings who is backing me up and that is because she has pulled rotten things over and over on him too, although not as severe as the ones on me, because he's male and she's afraid of him. He cut her off several years ago.
The other siblings live far away and only come for visits. I've tried explaining what *really* happened/happens, and they still all believe her - to the extent of writing me emails telling me how "hateful and mean" I am to her - yet I have never been in any kind of trouble, and she has been in nothing but trouble (DUI's, stealing large amounts of money from my parents, hit-and-runs, doing drugs, etc, etc, and to this day is a functional alcoholic - though the psychopathic behavior came long before her alcoholism).
I am also the one my father chose as executor of the estate over 10 years ago, and he was not a stupid man. Now he is frail and in ill health - and my sister has just used that fact as an easier way to take even more advantage of him, to the point where my parents have almost depleted their lifetime savings ever since my father's mental faculties declined.
I do my best to stop her from taking everything they have but she is so used to scheming she knows many tricks and roadblocks. I *do* have power of attorney, but that doesn't stop my parents from handing her over money constantly for things that are "broken" (i.e. she wants some expensive clothes, or some fancy repairs done on house at their cost, or even has *my father* do them, whose balance is precarious as it is).
She's already even talking about the cheapest nursing home "we can put him in," where relatives have to provide food, laundry care, etc (meaning me, of course). The fact is if he was being *helped,* as my husband, brother, and I am trying to do, he could have many productive years left.
I know cutting off a sibling is a drastic step but I have tied myself in loops trying to get along with her because it hurts my mother so much for all of us to not get along. In addition, I loved and cared about my sister, and remember when we were children how so different she was - thoughtful, always coming up with fun things to do, just a great sister.
But when she hit her teens and became a real beauty everything seemed to change. She introduced all us younger siblings to hard liquor by the age of 14 and drugs such as cocaine by 16.
For many years the family considered her the "star" of the family, perhaps due to her stunning looks and ability to become friends with almost anyone and have people flock around her. It was as if everything revolved around her.
Even when it started becoming apparent (to my parents, anyway) that she was a rotten apple, they, especially my mother, would make excuses for her - "she's stressed", she's going through a divorce," "she's out of work," "how would you feel if your daughter was on crack?" (Bad, but I have a good clue why).
Now my mother sighs and admits many of the things my sister does is wrong, but I can tell she is so worn out she just doesn't have the energy to try to make her behave decently, which she had started doing in her 50's and 60's.
I could fill a magazine with the stunts my sister has pulled over the years, and many of them are so outrageous some people would probably find it hard to believe someone would do such things, often to their own family.
What really is a downer for me right now is she is going around telling all our relatives, distant and close, some she barely even knows, and even MY in-laws, some of whom *I* barely know, all kind of lies about me.
Well, I didn't mean to make this so long, but glad to meet you all (though sad if you have someone like my sister in your family tree).