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#4756 - 06/30/05 08:35 AM Waiting for the next school holidays


I thought you must have gone on a mud wrestling tour and not told me.
I have had a quiet time over the last couple of weeks since R went back to school even though I am still in a huge legal battle and loads of other stressful things are going on at the moment. None of those things causes me anywhere near the same problem as living with a FP.

The next problem we have to face is the summer holidays in three weeks time which is six weeks out of school but more importantly my partner told him if this report was as bad as the last he would have to be pulled out of school and go back to his mother.

Big problem......the report was worse not just academically but his behaviour was commented on be nearly every teacher, there were some pretty ruthless comments. My partner has now painted himself into a corner because he feels bad about sending him back to his mother and says it would be no life for him there and doesn't want to do it. I fully understand how he feels but he should not have made such a specific threat and if he doesn't follow it through-well you can imagine how the kid is going to react-he will think he can do ANYTHING now and get away with it.

I think he should visit her during the break with a view to staying there. He makes the choices anyway and I'm sure he will soon manipulate his mother into doing what he wants. He doesn't want parents he wants someone weak he can control and she might be the very person!!! She never used to send him to school before, he never went to bad till 1am sometimes even on a school night. She took him everywhere she went so he was the centre of attention so I'm sure he would be happier there. The only reason he wanted to come and live with his father was because everytime he stayed with him he was showered with presents and meals out etc and wanted that every day. Then he made his mother's life hell until she got rid of him. He even told my neighbour he knows if he goes on long enough he gets what he wants. BUT not with me-hence some of the battles. When I say no I stick to it. His father tried to make up for not being around every day by buying him and he was taken to his gran's and she did the same. So parasitic.

My peaceful state of mind won't last and I'll be sounding off here again soon. Hope all is well with you and if you need a bolt hole this could be the place to come but only if Mr Cutie isn't here. Maybe that's another idea ....we could do a home swap and see off each other's Ps!!!


#4757 - 06/30/05 12:47 PM Re: Waiting for the next school holidays [Re: ]
MoreCautiousNow Offline

Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 110
Hey there Jan,

Legal battles are the pits!!! Funny, our lives seem to run paralel to each others! I, too, am involved in a legal battle here. Only I'm on one side of the country and the battle is going on on the other side of the country. And dealing with attorney's is pretty much akin to mud wrestling. It makes me want to hold my head and run screaming! So, believe me, I know what you're going thru. Mine is not a divorce, but it is all over money. Inheritance. And someone (I should say somebodies) has their hand in MY pocket. I think it's fair to say that you and I are doing our own "mud wrestling" tours!

Last week, one of my daughters came for a visit, so I was tied up with that as well. My children and I get along quite well and enjoy each other's company. But now it's back to the grindstone and the "mud wrestling" with the lawsuit on the side.

Anyway, haven't had much time to post here or do very much of anything really. Just popped in last nite to say hello, briefly.

I was wondering what you were going to do come school break. Sounds like you and your significant other are in for a real rollercoaster ride. Wow, I wonder how long Mummy is gonna put up with Mr. Cutie. Hope you have your journals handy. Has Gran calmed down since the last incident??

If you ever get to the States, you're welcome to my place. I do live in a resort area. Might be a nice change of pace from Mr. Cutie. Who knows, maybe we'll meet one day!

Hang in there!

#4758 - 07/01/05 02:36 AM Re: Waiting for the next school holidays [Re: MoreCautiousNow]


Talk about parallel livesÖ battle is over an inheritance too!!!

I wonít bore you with the details but I have spent the last couple of years fighting for fairness. I wasnít even asking for everything I could have asked for to make it easier to get what I rightfully should have. Itís that horrible saying which I donít like using but life just isnít fair. I should know before the school hols which way this is going to go-whether I have to fight on or get some of what I want.

I could really do without Mr C around as he listens to everything that is going on, I canít even make a private phone call when he is here. He uses information as control and currency, especially with his gran to get her going. He loves winding people up.

Gran doesnít phone here any more, she says itís up to N to phone her-suits me fine that way. It does get a bit tricky for sending Mr C to stay because she and her son that lives with her play games with us about when he can go over there. They keep changing the dates to spoil any plans we might have. I think they have forgotten that we can do what we like while he is at school so it doesnít affect us. I donít know whether his own mother will have him during the hols-N said she would if there is money involved. Legally she is supposed to pay maintenance but she doesnít work so N doesnít get a contribution from her. He has a half brother so at least he would have company if he goes to stay with her.

Itís good that you have a good family and enjoy the company of your children. I have a son who is an absolute pleasure to be with although I donít get to see him as much as I would like because of distance. He once said something to me that will live with me forever that when he has children he wants me to tell him how to bring them up because ďyou did a great job with me.Ē You can imagine I grew from 5ft to at least 7ft. Itís so ironic because I tried to do for Mr C exactly what I did with my own son, all I got from that is grief. I know I can parent well (although itís probably my only claim to fame) so itís not me that is causing the problems.

I havenít been to the states for a few years for various reasons but do have an open invitation to stay with friends in Costa Mesa, California. Are you in that part of the US? You perhaps donít want to say because of anonymity so I do understand if you would rather not.

There is another person from the UK that was new to the forum and she posted a couple of times and I feel very concerned for her and she hasnít posted again. Her name is Issa and if she is reading this I hope she comes back to the forum, she is going to need all the support she can muster.

Have a good weekend.


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