Has anyone had experiences with psychopath's children modeling their behavior after their parents?

Hi neverthesame, thanks for bringing up this topic, it has been on my mind for quite some time. I suspect that the children would model the behavior to some degree. I feel very sorry for children of Psychopaths, there must be so many conflicting feelings particularly when the child is used as a weapon against the mother or father, depending on which parent is the Psychopath and/or other family members.

When you get to thinking of the impact of a Psychopath particularly their unfaithful ways I wonder how many children they have in the course of their lifetime. I suspect that they (the P) normally doesn't keep commitments or pay child support. Like everything else they do I would suspect P's would only use the child if it works to their own means. I can only imagine when the P has time with the child the amount of lies and deceit they try to spread about the mother or father depending on who is the P in the family.

It will be interesting to hear from parents in this situation.

Also what about a P who does in fact have a P for a child, now that situation would appear to be extremely complicated for the non P members of the family.

Di

The P's that I have dealt with are a married couple. Their children are beginning to pick up the traits and have begun bothering my children at school. I guess that they would be true bred p's. I do feel sorry for the children, being a p is all they know, it is all they have seen and all they have been taught. And so the behavior continues on and on....

My children have been warned about the parents and now I feel that I have to warn them about the children. I never thought I would have to tell my children to not be a friend to someone. Anyone else experience a similiar situation?

hi Neverthesame,

I have observed a sample of two:

1. 
   An atheistic, politically active socialist couple with P
   being the father.
   
   This couple's kids have been turned into Monsters. P
   justifies this with the rationale that everyone
   is "like this".
   
   Other children WILL NOT play with them, and the couple have
   been semi-ostracized from their social group on this issue.
   
   Ironically, P has turned his kids into caricatures of the
   Capitalists he professes to hate.
   
2. 
   In couple #2, the mother is quite religious. Church-going,
   and family prayer are bedrock parts of the family routine.
   
   In this instance P had to maintain, and did maintain the
   appearance of a morally upright religious father whose
   family behaviour had to stay inside a religious envelope.
   
   When the mask dropped, some 17 years later, and he went
   outside envelope, he was ejected from the family.
   
   The children are clearly scarred from a divorce, but no
   more than children from non-P infected families.
   

Based on my limited sample, I think Religion sets some
standards that limit the harm a P parent does to a child,
and the moral relativism in Religion's abscence creates
a "Devil's playground" where the child has no external
frame of reference to defend his world-view from the P.

I'm sure other people have counter-examples,

-WK

Thanks for the info. WhiteKnight. The couple I refer to I believe are both p's. Their children have been referred to as weird, one has even been described as one who would bring a gun to school. One has had several encounters with law enforcement for attacking other children and even claiming being sexually attacked by another child. When confronted about the sexual attack, the child finally confessed that it was made up.

I wonder how someone can get help to these innocent children before it is too late.

Hi,

About modeling, as some of you know my father was a typical philandering, sadistic psychopath. The pain that he inflicted on his family is immeasurable. I am the youngest in the (rather large) family, and I have one brother who did actively model my father as a child. He is still rather sadistic as an adult, but is not psychopathic, as he does at times feel remorse, and his emotional affect is deep.

As a child he would shame and belittle and torture me and our other siblings, but only as my father's little shadow, and he seemed to get extreme satisfaction out of the behavior. It was the closest he could come to approval from my father, which he never ever gave his children. This brother also tormented the household pets, yet as an adult has shown great love of animals, and wept bitterly at the passing of one of his pets.

At about the time our father died, he began to struggle and is still going through recovery (as we all are) thirty years later.

If a psychologist had looked at him in isolation as a child, he would have seen a budding P, sadistic and seeming without remorse.

Diane1969

Hello,

I have an emotionally sadistic father with contradictory behaviour. He shows adorement towards people whom het "gets" and then knowing their weaknesses, he torpedoes them.
My father is an extremely complex very ill Psychopath. But physical, but emotional sadist.

A normal relationship with him is impossible.
I wrote my long story under the "Son of a psychopath" section. He's a horribly complex, twisted slippery mind. He always goes through metamorphosees, you cannot catch him, nor understand him. Life with him is a constant dogfight. He hates all people who are close to him (me, my mom, his borther, etc.).
No soul, no love, but wild sadism, laughter at suffering, charming and diplomatic in public, the "teacher of morality" (he educates us all the time, moralizes) and adores himself.

What I ask my self often is...
Why did my father ever want to have a child?

I was born at about the time when he was 50... And he always showed me to people as his "defect mentally ill and antisocial kid"... But, the problem is with him.

I guess that psychopaths have a social need. Maybe he wanted to have a kid, "just because" or 'cause he would have bigger credibility.

All my life I was his punchbag...

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the board. I just found out I may be pregnant and I'm a bit concerned about my kid developing psychopathy. I personally don't know of anyone who inherited psychopathy from a parent but I guess it could happen. I'm glad that I've stumbled into this website and seen that a lot of you have psychopathic parents and are normal, sensitive people.

I am mentally ill myself and wouldn't really be devastated if my kid were born with BPD or OCD but psychopathy is just on a whole other level. There is just no way that one can even begin to describe the sadness of trying to relate to someone who has no emotions.

I have been with the psychopath for 6 years and do want a kid but I don't plan to stay with him much longer, especially because I don't want him influencing my kid. I really do hope that there is no psychopathy gene to be inherited or at least that this is not the usual outcome for their kids

Anyway, have a nice week everyone :-)

hello Lena,
Welcome to the forum. It can be of great use to be here and people can indeed give lots of support when needed.
I do hope your child won't have the psychopathy gen. As you saw already, lots of people with a psychopath parent or even parents haven't.

I understand you are still living with a psychopath partner and want to leave. Have you made plans to leave or is it still a bit vague?
Do you have a support system and a place to go yet?
Is there an organisation where you live who could be of help?
Lots of questions only to be answered as you feel like doing so.
regards Segaya

Hello Lena

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your pregnancy.
What is it about your partner that makes you think he is psychopathic? You must have been doing research to come across the forum so looking for information on this particular condition. It won't be possible to get a diagnosis for your partner unless he gets involved in the judicial system so all you can do is further research and come to your own conclusion. Without knowing more about him at this point maybe he isn't psychopathic but has some other disorder.

You say you intend to leave your partner and I presume this is not a decision you have just made since finding out you are pregnant, that it would have happened anyway? Do you have family and friends that can support you and help you with a baby?

The statistics say 1 to 4% of the population is psychopathic, it is a spectrum disorder so there are various degrees of severity depending on how many characteristics from the checklist they display. Have you looked at Dr Hare's checklist? It will give you a clearer idea of what to look for and to assess the severity of each factor.

You asked a question about inherited psychopathy and going on the facts, psychopathy is highly heritable but also seems to have a trigger factor so that brings us to the nature/nurture debate. There is a twin study about this so I will find the link for you.
There is no reason to expect your baby will have a personality disorder so all you can do is look after your health and look forward to having your baby. There have been some studies into babies in the womb being harmed by toxins so that is something you can avoid in your environment but I don't think there is a conclusion that this could cause psychopathy but it is just sensible advice.

Most pychopathic parents have 'normal' children otherwise we would have many more in society so try not to worry.

If your child is affected in any way then being aware is the only thing you can do about it. It is thought that very early intervention is the thing that will make the biggest difference for the child's future.

When you are ready maybe you could tell us more about what you are dealing with. There are many people here on the forum who will have faced the same problems so will be here to support you.

Regards
Jan

Dedicated to the world.. I have proof that this is genetic. Here is my amazing yet painful, and devastating story.


Yes..It is most definitely genetic.

My mother had 5 kids. She gave all of us away. 2 of her sons are half brothers. They never met until in their thirties because the youngest daughter she had did a search to reunite the long lost family and did so with success..

The mother has a personality disorder. She is evil and pits everyone against each other and does everything in her power to keep her 5 kids separate from one another. Will use people then stab them in the back causing much personal devastation and exploit your private life to your husbands, boyfriends etc. to drive people away from you for no sensible reason other than to cause pain and disruption because this is how she gets her energy for survival.. It's a a very nasty condition. Like and evil form of retardation, but these types of people are highly intelligent yet stupid at the same time and have a childlike selfishness that can destroy those who are close to them.

Her 2 sons who did not have exposure to one another let alone even know each othe existed, both beat their wives, left and abandoned their children, are users and abusers, and are attracted to people with money. They both caused social embarassment to their wives and have both got their wives in trouble with employers too. Left them in financial devastation etc. They both refuse to bond with the kids they left behind and use photos of their kids to show off what they have produced but nothing more than that.
One of the brothers even knew his wife had cancer and when asked where she and the little girl may be he simply replied, "Down in Louisiana Rotting". It was shocking to hear and was seen as the first big red flag..

Remember these 2 brothers never had one bit of exposure to the same upbringing but came from the same psychopathic womans womb. Interesting for genetic research, but painful for family members.

The one psychopath brother was already cut off from his biological father, adoptive step-mother and her 2 daughters. They want nothing to do with he and his sister.. Now I understand the truth behind why they are avoided. Of course the psychopath brother and sister gave a different version, which may be partially true, but there is a darker reason behind it. They are the smoothest liars and so talented at appearing sincere, but it is not real. Beware!

The mothers oldest daughter has it really bad too - she despises all of her youner half siblings and wants to be the only child to get her mothers attention and resented the fact that her youngest sister found the others, her second daughter has it, but only one out of 5 did not get this disorder and she has difficulty dealing with this fact and has had to cut herself completely off fromm all of them after a few years of the family reunion as one of her half brothers tried to destroy her life. It was very nasty and to awful to go into on this message board.


Just to note: The psychopath woman who gave birth to these five kids was born to a mother who also had a severe disconnect with her child and psychopathic disorder and the grandfather which is the father of the psychopath mother was reported to be sadistic like hitler as he was also from Germany. Psychopaths tend to attract one another too and their relationships don't last long either.

I am wondering which populations of people have the highest proportion of this disorder as I am sure its prevalent in many races. But this family has had interracial marriage after psychopath daughter emigrated to the united states and has produced many offspring who may be carrying this disorder further into different racial populations as well as a result of interracial marriage.

I hope to educate my long lost nieces and nephews about this disorder, but fear some of them may be psychopaths too and fear sharing too much as it will be futile and dangerous to educate the wrong ones as they may become masters at hiding their condition, but it never lasts long and will surface because the mask of sanity never lasts.


So be careful who you have kids with genetics can be mean and nasty thing to deal with. Get a good idea of how their family treats each other and if you find a good person who unfortunately came from such a rotten batch of humans move far away with them and keep your marriage strong and intact, so you can raise your offspring in a close, loving and supportive environment to help reduce the chances of having more psychopathic children.

It is like a disease running rampant in our population in 2009. It must be stopped. I almost wish the governments would round these people up and sterilize them as they are like a big huge cancer to the rest of the population. These people are often responsible for the downfall of major corporations and financial institions such as the ENRON scandal.


These are the kids and neighbors and co-workers who bully our best and brightest to destroy them. Psychpaths are attracted to highly successul, intelligent, articulate people. The don't go after ugly, depressed or disordered women or men.. And may be the same with psychopath females too:)

They are disease carries too, will get you sick and refuse to seek treatment if they have passed and infection to you.. They will act as if you are crazy and ignore you it really is like dealing with a retarded person who is highly funcitonal though..

If you have family, friends, co-worker or lovers like this. Run and even cut people off connected to them who don't believe you because in time they will, but by then the damage caused is often too late to repair friendships.. This is how dangerous these Narcissitically impaired people are, so run - and don't look back, but do your best to share your story and educate the rest of the world, because our courts, police etc. don't yet understand this phenomenon in human character and still have a long way to go..


I feel so sorry for women and men and family member victimized by these creatures.
We must have hope that justice will prevail and eventually all these monsters will be marked and exposed so they can't cause the rest of us anymore psychological, physical, emotional and financial harm.

It's time for the world to come together and stop them.. There should be a colony for these things to live together and implode amongst themselves- short of extermination:(

Hello Harmed

I am pleased you have visited our forum. You have certainly been through a very painful experience and I hope we can provide you with some support. Are you the youngest sister of this dysfunctional family? I can see how angry you are because of these people and the way they appear to get away with their devastation. You are so right that you end up feeling like the crazy one.

Do you have a name we can use for you as the user name you have registered with is so hard and you are not that person.
I am reading a book at the moment called Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley, have you read it? If not I think you will find it very pertinent. It does explain the action of genes and personality in a way that is comprehensible and so much falls into place when you can understand it. Personality does seem mainly genetic.
None of us on the forum is able to offer a diagnosis but you sound quite sure you know what sort of personality disorder your mother has, can you share your opinions about that so we get a clearer picture?

I am about to do some research to find out if any communities, countries or races have recorded data on psychopaths to assess if there is any difference in the figures. I suspect some countries will not have this data or would not want to publish it. This may be something that is addressed in the book but I’m only half way through so haven’t come across anything related to this. I have heard Inuit are aware of psychopaths and they have a saying about if anyone in their community comes across a psychopath they push them off the ice.

It is said that therapy makes psychopaths worse but is there anything that makes you suspect your nephews and nieces have personality problems and you should avoid them? They may have problems because of being part of a dysfunctional family but not necessarily psychopaths themselves.

I agree that we all need to share our information and expose any psychopath who has caused us problems. If only governments and professional could get together and acknowledge the real issues we may have some hope of change.
The professionals don’t seem to even be able to agree amongst themselves about what a psychopath is or how many are under the criminal radar. There seems to be a lot of woolly thinking depending on whether they are clinical or non clinical. Most diagnoses for psychopathy is done in the prison population but I believe we don’t have a clue what the true figures are. It is said 1 to 4% of the population is psychopathic and of course that figure is much higher in the prison population because that is the only place they have a ‘captive’ audience for testing. I have worked for a psychopath and there is no way he would ever get a diagnosis unless he does something criminal in business and gets caught out.

You have given some excellent advice from first hand experience and unless more people like yourself tell their stories there will always be a poor understanding of the real problems psychopaths cause.

I hope you are able to tell us more and please feel free to ask any questions if you think we can help.

Regards
Jan

Hello Harmed,

Thank you for your post~your descriptions of "an evil form of retardation" and "highly intelligent and stupid at the same time" are so perfect. My ex in-laws are so similar. I am assuming you are the one who did the search to re-unite your family. How heart-wrenching to find this at the end of all that work.

How long did you try to bond with these people before you realized how toxic they were?

As you say, perhaps you can educate your nieces and nephews about this condition. If one or all of them someday need help, a great deal of good can come out of this situation. I understand your fear in dealing with them should they have this disorder as well but I think you will know who is who at some point. I would think that the healthy-thinking ones among them will eventually start to question the behavior of others in the family. When the questions start to arise in their minds, they may well seek you out for answers.
I wouldn't even attempt to talk to any of them before they begin to question things, you will only crash into a wall of denial which is another realm of pain unto itself~~I have walked through that realm and I don't encourage anyone to visit there.

Thank you again for your words, they have solidified so much in my head. You said that the one sister despises everyone who may take the mother's attention away from her. I see that in each of my ex in-laws as well~~each fighting and clawing for the parental spotlight. (All the siblings are very narcissistic, with at least two of them being full-blown psychopaths.) Where the disconnect with reality REALLY becomes apparent is when you know that the parents of these siblings have both been dead for YEARS. Evil retardation indeed.

I believe that one day I will be approached by any nieces or nephews who are questioning the family behaviors. I am certain many lies have been told about me, but someday they will understand why I disconnected completely from all of them. I believe in my case and in yours that the greater good will win out.

Thank you,
Deb

In the book, "The Psychopath Next Door," the author suggests that there IS a cultural component. Our culture promotes the idea of the importance of the individual, an attitude that may encourage psychopathic behavior. I believe it is the Japanese culture she describes - a culture that focuses not on the individual but the good of the group as a whole. According to the author, about 4% of the US population is psychopathic, while only about 1% of the Japanese population is ... if I'm remembering correctly.

Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice in Wonderland would say.

Your words really struck home with me, "each fighting and clawing for the parental spotlight ..." That summarizes so many of the stories I have heard about my soon-to-be-ex's family. I'm a historian and when I first started dating this fellow 5 years ago, I was fascinated by the stories of old Texas ranching life. I listened to his 90-plus year old mother for hours on end, and took notes, planning to write the family history ... I may still do that, but with the rose-colored glasses now ripped off my face, the story will be "The History of a Psychopathic Rancher, His Pyscopathic Children, and His Psychopathic Grandchildren"! Sure to be a best seller, don't you think? Especially right around here. Boy, I would be a pariah if I blew the cover off this family. Might be fun.

The grandfather was larger than life, and everyone worships his memory - now I suspect that he was, as you say, a "full-blown psychopath." He put together 6 ranches, and so each of his children inherited a ranch - but when he died, they found out that they owed $1 million-plus in income taxes he had never paid. He put together his empire by starting a small local bank, lending money to ranchers, and then foreclosing on them when they couldn't pay during the frequent drouths around here. He always had women on the side. He had a lot of cattle business in California, and when he died at 96, he and his wife were living in an apartment on one floor of the Biltmore Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, and his mistress lived a couple of floors above them. How handy for him. Think of it - still catting around at 96! The family tells these stories, and they all chuckle.

There are zillions more stories. All told with a chuckle by the children and grandchildren.

I'm outta here.

My two youngest siblings do. There are 5 children, the 3 oldest were physically and verbally abused. The 4th child is mirrored the mothers psycopathic ways.The 3 oldest discuss issues and litterally mentally fight themselves not to say crude, cruel things to others. Eatch of us have had re-train ourselves not to be like our mother.

My mother did not give us away. I to come from a fam. Of 5 children. Instead , she made us grow up with pure evil. We were and still are not good enough. We were always refered to as "the five god damned kids". We were physically and mentally abused- actually we still are. We are all grown with our own grown children and grandchildren! We still fear her. Some have yet to figure out "WHY" we still go visit! I say its because we're still hopeful for love and recgontion. Additionally, I've pointed out to some of my siblings, we always take her a gift when we go there. She never goes or phones any of us! Even when I was going through cancer treatment! Her response to me when I phoned her and told her I had cancer- "well, I told your dad , we have been lucky so far that none of our kids have died" how would you take that?